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Another contract ON America? Gee, thanks, Newt. Let me guess.
Here's Newt's first daft. er, draft:
Resolved, That we, the delegated representatives of the Republican electors of the United States in Convention assembled, in discharge of the duty we owe to our constituents and our country, unite in the following declarations:
1. That the history of the nation during the last four years, has fully established the propriety and necessity of the organization and perpetuation of the Republican party, and that the causes which called it into existence are permanent in their nature, and now, more than ever before, demand its eventual, total, and constitutional triumph. Forthwith, the Democrat Party shall be labeled what they truly are, subversive, anti-american, and traitorous.
2. That the maintenance of the principles promulgated in the Declaration of Independence and embodied in the Federal Constitution, "That all Corporations are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the freedom from regulations and taxes.” Unfettered corporate profit is essential to the preservation of our Republican institutions; and that the Federal Constitution, the Rights of the States, and the Union of the States must direct all energies to protect their freedom.
3. That to the Union of the States this nation owes its unprecedented increase in population to illegal immigration, which can only be dealt with by guns, walls, and heavily armed border patrols, with full authority to shoot to kill. The rapid augmentation of wealth which our most generous benefactors and campaign donors have felt, must be protected against unfair taxation, and other types of Class Warfare. We denounce those threats of disunion from Democrat office holders who threaten corporate freedom, and the right of those who created wealth to be free of governmental influence on maintaining and growing that wealth, as an avowal of contemplated treason, which it is the imperative duty of an indignant people sternly to rebuke and forever silence.
4. That the maintenance inviolate of the rights of the states, and especially the right of each state to order and control its own domestic institutions according to its own judgment exclusively, Except where states adopt Sharia Laws, and other illegal, unconstitutional international standards, which fail to reflect that which makes America greater than any other nation; and we denounce the lawless invasion by armed Muslim, Atheist, and Agnostic forces of the soil of any state or territory, no matter under what pretext, as among the gravest of crimes. We call for a major repair of our educational system, allowing biblical truths to sit side by side with the fake sciences, like evolution and stem cells. Intelligent Design best describes how our one god, the Creator of all, made life possible for all Americans.
5. That the present Democrat Administration has far exceeded our worst apprehensions, in its measureless subserviency to the exactions of a sectional interest, as especially evinced in its desperate exertions to force the infamous Health Care Bill (ObamaCare) in construing the personal relations between master and servant to involve an unqualified property in persons; in its attempted enforcement everywhere, on land and sea, through the intervention of Congress and of the Federal Courts of the extreme pretensions of a purely local interest; and in its general and unvarying abuse of the power intrusted to it by a confiding people. We call for its immediate repeal, and for the DOJ to investigate the treasonous authors of this unpatriotic legislation.
6. That the Union of the States will recognize, and only one form of relationship: That a union between one man and one woman is inviolate and god-given, that any perversion against this biblical truth is a crime against God, against, America, and against the laws of Man. Anyone seeking to destroy America's true foundation, through words, deeds, or actions, including homosexual acts, divorce, or similar perversions will be punished to the fullest extent of federal law, including the Death Penalty. Only in this way will America's blessed future as God's selected country be assured for generations to come.
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