My 10 year old nephew's best friend is a bully in the making

[Ex Lurker]

For some reason he thinks the world of my slightly geeky nephew, but I've seen him terrorize other kids. Not sure what, if anything I can or should do about this, other than try to make sure his attitude doesn't rub off on my nephew.

[trueblue2007]

1. hopefully your nephew won't hang with the bully. he might turn into one

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Find out what he's scared of. Bullies were usually terrorized/repressed

and are acting it out in order to see that someone, anyone, knows exactly even for a moment, what they feel all the time.

[Ex Lurker]

3. good point. nt

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. And they attack what threatens them. What part of them feels threatened? Self-esteem? Security?

Ambitions? Etc.

[Ex Lurker]

10. I think this kid gets a lot of pressure at home to be a star athlete nt.

[Fire Walk With Me]

15. And by pressure you mean bullying?

:(

[Ex Lurker]

16. probably not, just pressure nt.

[Brickbat]

4. Sometimes a good friend can be a good influence.

What does your nephew think about the bullying?

[Divine Discontent]

6. that's a good question to ask. Maybe he can influence him if the bullying kid likes him so much.

[Brickbat]

On the other hand, it's not the nephew's job to save this other kid.

But if he can be a good friend, model good behavior, and make it clear to the bully that bullying is a friendship-breaker, that might help. It's just too much to put on a kid at that age; they can really take it to heart if they "fail" at something like that.

[Divine Discontent]

12. yep. not his responsibility as a kid. I know when kids were mean to others, I stood up against the

bullies and not one time was I ever struck. But, I realize, results may vary.

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[LadyHawkAZ]

7. Have you discussed it with your nephew's parent/s? n/t

[Ex Lurker]

8. not in depth, I just found out over the weekend nt.

[LadyHawkAZ]

9. Too many blank spots for me to give clear advice

your nephew's parents would be the best ones to take the issue up, since presumably they know the other child's parent/s. A discussion with your nephew might be a good start too, since there's obviously some reason he wants to hang out with this kid and I'm hoping its not out of fear.

[Rabblevox]

11. Make sure your nephew knows he can trust you. Sometimes an uncle can make a difference...

mine did. AS to the other kid, if he's truly terrorizing, you need to talk to your brother/sister ASAP.

[izquierdista]

13. Grandmotherly rebuke

With modern families so spread out, there are many children who do not get properly rebuked by Grandma (or Grandpa) for acting like little shits. Since it is grandparent's job to spoil the kids and indulge them, a rebuke for bad behavior really stands out (at least it did with me). Actually, it can be any much older relative who does not normally dish out the discipline (aunts, great-aunts, great-grandma, gay Uncle Wally, etc.) Getting a no confidence vote or a disappointed shaking of the head can take the wind right out of the sails of a swaggering bully. If done right, the kid will be apologizing to the bully victim and trying to make amends.

[Ex Lurker]

14. also a very good point

I remember the first time my grandmother scolded me for something. I didn;t know they could "DO" that, and it stuck with me.

[Major Nikon]

17. Obviously he needs some sense beat into him

Don't you ever read Ben Stein?