Police respond to The Onion's Capitol hostage spoof, omg

[uppityperson]

It is The Onion. heh


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-15115804

US police are investigating tweets by a satirical news website about a fake security alert at Washington DC's Capitol building.

The Onion said on its Twitter account that "screams and gunfire" had been heard inside the Capitol. It later said schoolchildren had been taken hostage.

Capitol Police said there was "no credibility to these stories", and that the security situation was "normal".
(clip)
In one of a series of tweets that followed, it said Congress was demanding a $12tn (£7.7tn) ransom "or all the kids die"....

AND, they are trouble for this...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-takes-group-of-schoolchildren-hostage,26207/

Congress Takes Group Of Schoolchildren Hostage
'We Need $12 Trillion Or All These Kids Die'
WASHINGTON—Brandishing shotguns and semiautomatic pistols, members of the 112th U.S. Congress took a class of visiting schoolchildren hostage today, barricading themselves inside the Capitol rotunda and demanding $12 trillion dollars in cash. If the money is not delivered by this evening, members of Congress say they will shoot a new child every hour on the hour.

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), who has emerged as spokesman for the bipartisan group, informed FBI negotiators this morning that the ransom was to be placed in stainless-steel suitcases and left on the Capitol steps by 4 p.m. sharp. If their demands are not met in full, the 11-term representative announced, "all the kids will die."

"Bring us the money and we let the children go, simple as that," said Boehner, appearing in the East Portico with a serrated switchblade held to one of the fourth-grader's throats. "If you want to play games and stall for extra time, we're going to shoot one kid an hour, starting with little Dillon here."

"Tick tock," he added, vanishing back into the building with the terrified child in tow....

[Liberal_in_LA]

1. It was a kinda tacky joke. Don't joke about terrified children.

[uppityperson]

2. Always check the source. And if it is The Onion, double check it

[Brother Buzz]

3. Onion, Larry Flynt's got your Six on this one

[saras]

4. Best Onion story in a while. Don't do it and we won't joke about it.

[krispos42]

5. Latest news: they're not backing down!

Hostage Negotiation Talks Stall In Congress

September 29, 2011 | ISSUE 47•39

WASHINGTON— A congressional spokesperson informed the FBI that talks have stalled on the Senate floor and lawmakers will need more time to debate the proposed deal to release the group of schoolchildren they took hostage earlier today. "Obviously, the most important thing here is to reach a deal that works for both sides," read a statement from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on the disputed $12 trillion agreement that would free the young children currently being held at gunpoint by the country’s legislative branch. "But many important questions still remain: How will the ransom money be allocated? How can we cut needless expenditures such as individual ski masks for every congressman? Should there be a stipulation to take one of the children with us to ensure a clean getaway? Unfortunately, it may be quite some time before we can reach an adequate consensus on these and other issues." At press time, FBI officials said Congress had moved to extend the money drop-off deadline until early December.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/hostage-negotiation-talks-stall-in-congress,26209/

[Blue Owl]

6. Well those stupid GOP fucks asked for it

I for one THANK The Onion for calling the real terrorists out.

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. That the local police responded shows that they don't put this sort of behaviour past congress!

:rofl:

[aquart]

8. True.

[uppityperson]

9. Very true and very funny. What has happened to sanity? nt