My brother came out last night ...

[aggiesal]

He's 50.
There are 8 brothers and sisters in my family.
I think we all suspected, but never said anything.
I told him that we waited for him on his timetable.
I think that fact that my dad died recently made it
easier for him to finally come out, because honestly
I don't think my dad would have been able to handle
it.

I love my brother.
I hope he gets everything he wants out of life.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

1. Congrats! This is a good thing. He must feel a sense of relief. nt

[SharonAnn]

22. I'm waiting for my 54 year old brother to come out. In his 20's he told

one brother he's gay, but then he "got fixed" by being born-again. He's not been active with Xtian fundamentalists for about 15-20 years but seems to still carry the "being gay is sinful" though in his head.

Anyway, whatever he wants to do is fine with us. We'd just like it if he was happier.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

26. Religion does a lot of harm in too many spheres of life. nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

27. Hope he does. nt

[aggiesal]

61. WOW, this is overwhelming ...

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and inspiration.

I really didn't expect such an overwhelming response.

My brother deserves all the credit.
I asked him when did he know he was gay, and he said
since his junior year in high school.

I'm just very proud of his decision.

[lumberjack_jeff]

2. It is very sad that he couldn't tell his father. n/t

[aggiesal]

4. This from a father ...

who told me when I moved from the Southwest to the Bay Area
"Don't become gay!!!"

I loved by father, but he was set in his ways.

[lumberjack_jeff]

6. Still sad. n/t

[William769]

7. Although my father died in a different era

I can certainly see why your brother waited till after his passing.

What matters now is he is free to be himself.

[William769]

3. Recommended.

[Firebrand Gary]

5. Best post of the day.

Congratulations my friend! Thats a big step on your brother's part.

[easttexaslefty]

8. Yay for him!!!!

It's never to late to become authentically yourself!

[Arkansas Granny]

9. I'm happy for your brother that he feels that he can share that with you.

[intheozone]

10. That's great for your brother, he deserves to live the life he was meant

to live. Your attitude is wonderful, congrats to you for being a superstar sibling!

[alfredo]

11. Gongrats to your brother.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

12. Good for him.

Hiding who you really are must be a burden.

[BeeBee]

13. Congratulations to your brother! And congratulations to you

for being there for him.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

14. Your brother is finally starting his life!

Congratulations to him and how lucky he is to have family like you!

[UnrepentantLiberal]

15. Can you imagine what the responses would be if you posted this to

Free Republic?

If it's okay with you, I might just do that as a test.

[aggiesal]

17. Be my guest. ...

But report back what you find.
Deal?

[UnrepentantLiberal]

21. Okie dokey.

My first thought is that I would have to be stealthy about it. But there's no way I could endure posting there for six months to gain membership to their community before springing this on them. Having posted to discussion forums for 15 years I know everything about what they think. So doing that would drive me completely insane and probably turn me into a violent anarchist. We don't need that.

So I'll post something like: I've been a Democrat for 30 years because I believed they had my best interests at heart. But now I know that Obama is a socialist and is giving all my tax money to Negroes and Mexicans. And now I find out my brother is gay, which will probably give my grandmother a heart attack.

Signed

Betwixt and Between in New Jersey.

[zalinda]

16. I have a sister who is in the closet

Everyone in the family knows she is a lesbian, but we don't broach the subject. And, yes, that includes our parents. We've known for sure, for about 30 plus years now. The way she acted with 'room mates' was the give away. I think if she found some one to settle down with, she may come out, but for her, she seems to be comfortable with the way things are.

zalinda

[Skittles]

33. you could let her know she can come out

go on, broach the subject :D

[zalinda]

58. If we were younger, maybe.

But she is 62 and has her life all set out. She lives in a different city than any of us do, and probably has her circle of friends. We aren't a close family. I tried once upon a time, and it blew up in my face. What's the expression, "let sleeping dogs lie".

zalinda

[closeupready]

18. K&R - I've known many gay people who, post-closet, are cast out from the family.

Even by their own parents. If your brother felt that was what would have happened, it probably would have. Thanks for sharing that story. :)

[Scuba]

19. Tell him there's millions of us who love him. n/t

[awoke_in_2003]

37. and their are plenty of straight folks...

who support him.

[Scuba]

38. Me among them. n/t

[Initech]

20. I can't imagine how that would suck to hide your real feelings for that long.

Better late than never, am I right?

[LittleGirl]

23. I have a niece that hasn't come out yet

She told her gay uncle, but not the rest of the family. He told me and I'm swore to secrecy. I hope she comes out soon. She's 26 and could have a wonderful life if she was only honest.

[Beavker]

24. Good for him! I hope all your siblings feel the same way.

What a great forum DU is...obviously it meets my political, ethical and moral needs, but it's so ecclectic.

I can only fathom the awful drivle on those Right Wing blogs and sites. I'm sure I could go to these shitty conservative blogs to find out, but I don't have the fortitude. But it just have to be so narrow and hateful.

[DeSwiss]

25. Tell him I said.....

...Congratulations! We're not all free yet, but he's a little freer today.

- And tell him I said that LOVE is the answer to everything. Starting with oneself......



K&R

[dballance]

28. I Know From Personal Experience it ain't easy!

I waited until after my dad died too. In a way I'm sorry about that because my dad never had a chance to really know me. I'm from TN and I left there as soon as I could so I could live my life the way I wanted. It was the best move.

[Liberal_in_LA]

29. k&r

[polmaven]

30. I'm sure he will be much happier now.

Trying to keep secrets can be so very stressful. Congratulations to your brother.

[kag]

31. I have a friend who struggled so much with her...

identity. She got married, had a kid, and was miserable for a year. I started to suspect when her marriage was coming apart, and finally one day we were having coffee together while our kids played. She seemed to be trying to tell me, but couldn't get it out. I asked, "Can I guess?" And her eyes widened when I told her my suspicion. She said something like, "How come everyone knew but me?"

She's with a lovely woman now, and her son has a little brother by her partner. She's so happy it almost makes me cry.

I'm so glad your brother can live more freely now, but I'm even more happy that he seems to have at least one (and probably more) loving and accepting siblings.

:grouphug:

[diane in sf]

32. Good on him--I was afraid you were going to say he admitted to being a Republican ;-)

[aggiesal]

56. That what my wife said n/t

[handmade34]

34. hugs from me!!!

:hug:

[Swede Atlanta]

35. Better late than never............

I was able to do this at age 21 and it was a relief even then when there were few questions about when I was going to get married, if I was seeing anyone, etc. And I never had a negative response from parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends, etc. I have been so blessed in my life.

I do hope you brother gets everything he wants out of life. I only lament, for him, that this has been denied to him for so long because of society's inability to accept people for who they are and not judge them by religious or historical dogmas.

[Enthusiast]

36. K&R!

The bad people that say this is a lifestyle 'choice' simply do not understand the trials and tribulations of an entire lifetime. Imagine, 50 years old.

[BlueIris]

39. Good for him Glad your family is so supportive. nt

[myrna minx]

40. .

:grouphug:

[YOHABLO]

41. Coming Out At 50?

If everyone in the family knew .. and it was assumed, why bother? I don't expect my siblings to come out as heterosexuals. Maybe I come from a different place on this, but I don't plan on making a formal announcement. My siblings don't ever call me anyway .. I'll just leave them guessing till I die. They don't know I am HIV+ for 25 years either. By the way, your dad would have to handle it. That's life and it is way too short.

[Initech]

54. Better late than never...

[aggiesal]

57. We didn't know. ...

We suspected.

Now we know.

[NMMNG]

42. Kudos to him

:hi:

[defendandprotect]

43. Best wishes to you all ---

and that story should also make clear how difficult and personal a decision

this is -- and how very harmful male-supremacist teachings of intolerance and

hatred for homosexuals have been -- !!

Not only hatred for the individual -- but in teaching families that they had a

right to hate and disown their own children!


Trust there are happier days ahead now for your brother -- !!

[tnlefty]

44. !

Hugs to your brother and your family, and I hope that he gets everything that he wants from life, also.

I have three sons and we watched 'Prayers for Bobbie' and they were furious at his mother despite what she's done for LGTB rights since...their thoughts were that it's a little too late after your son has committed suicide. Lots of conversation there.

I do remember all three of them in the kitchen almost taunting me to try to figure out which one of the three is gay. I merely stated that we'd had all of the sex talks since they were little, and if anyone wanted to tell me he is sexually active, everyone knows the drill (safe sex, safe sex) even for the heteros...

I didn't take the bait as my sons' sexuality and their sex lives are their own business.

I just regret that it took your brother so long to be who he is, and I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. :hug:

[MindandSoul]

45. I'm glad he is finally free to be himself, and I'm glad you love him . He does need your support.

[applegrove]

46. I ran into an old friend who hid his homosexuality from even himself in his 20s. He looked great,

had a great jobs, was buying a house, had a great partner. Everything. The whole world had opened up for him.

[ejbr]

47. Is he single?

:)

[aggiesal]

60. He says he has no significant other. ...

Smart.
Graduated from Notre Dame.

[WillyT]

48. K & R !!!

:kick:

[SHRED]

49. My sister came out also after Dad died

All the best to your bro and you; I know this firsthand.


---

[pasto76]

50. Awesome. Sorry he had to wait so long.

best wishes, and admiration for his courage.

[Ohio Joe]

51. oh man.... What to say...

I'm sorry he has had to live all these years in a world where he could not be himself but I am glad he felt the time was right. I wish him all the best.

[alp227]

52. AT AGE 50? Most likely because parents were social conservatives

who instilled this "homosexuality is wrong" message. But if you posted this to the Other Forum That Shall Not Be Named, they'll all say he CHOSE to be gay!

[Taverner]

53. Awesome

Not sure what else I can say? Awesome story :)

[a kennedy]

55. He deserves all the best.....

:hug: and so do you.

[SwampG8r]

59. im glad he feels the family loves him enough for him to be honest

with himself and them
hes still just your stupid brother punch him in the kidneys and he will know you love him
i wish i could punch my brother in the kidneys one more time

[democrank]

62. Wonderful

~PEACE~