You do not have to run a marathon while you're 39 weeks pregnant and then make national headlines when you give birth a few hours later. Aren't you relieved?
You do not have to swim to Alcatraz or run the stadium stairs 100 times at 5:00 am every morning like some sort of fitness maniac, bitching and groaning and oh my God my calves. You do not have to join some sort of exercise boot camp, sweat your ass off in yoga five times a week, hit the gym and pound the weights and crunch those abs into submission.
Hell, you don't even have to eat better, get more sleep, smile more or quit whining about the state of the world all the damn time, though that would probably help.
You do not have to do much of anything at all, oh flaccid and notoriously sedentary American, but maybe perhaps think about once in awhile getting off the couch and walking around maybe 15 minutes a day -- 15 minutes! -- to add actual years to your life, lower your risk of cancer and heart disease, improve all sorts of deleterious health situations that plague the typical American citizen like ditzball insanity plagues a Republican presidential candidate. ...
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