Yeah I'm in a shitty mood tonight. Apologies.

[cherokeeprogressive]

I won't do the normal thing and apologize to those I "might have offended"; I'll get out in front of my posts and apologize to everyone for what I've said.

I lost a Dear Friend today. He was the Father of a childhood buddy and he died of a heart attack this afternoon. He was at different times my Scout Master, Baseball Coach (6 years; the WHOLE time I played baseball before high school), and All Around Trusted Dude. He was also a friend of my Father. My Dad was the person who called me to tell me the bad news, and he was bawling like a baby. He told me that at 76, he was afraid he didn't have may friends left. I was at the same time sorry for myself, and for my Dad.

The reason I'm pissed off is that my "boss" refused to let me go down the hill and commiserate with my friends (my social circle consists of people I've known since I was in elementary school) because it would have cost her $400 in lost revenue. She would have had to cancel a zipline tour if I weren't there, and told me in no uncertain terms that she'd fire me if I didn't show. I was tempted to tell her I was moving on anyway, but my Wife counseled against it. In the end I had to smile and guide 11 people down our zipline course like there was nothing wrong. Looking back, I can't guarantee I did what I normally do because I wasn't my normally happy self.

In light of the way I'm feeling right now, and given that I've been hanging out with my old friend Wild Turkey since about 4:00, I'm feeling a little thin skinned. My wife went downstairs hours ago to sleep in the guest bedroom.

I guess there are times when a person's viewpoint extends no further than their own selfish needs, and today has been one of those days.

I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say other than I am out of Wild Turkey and thinking it's time to go to bed.

I don't hate Keith Olbermann. I don't even dislike him. What I said earlier though about following his foursome at Riviera was the truth for what that's worth.

Funny is the stupid shit one might say when they'r feeling sorry for their own situation. Stupid is the funny shit on the other side of teh coin.

I remember when my Grandfather's Pastor told me after he died that grief was a selfish emotion... I wanted to kick his ass until I thought at length about what he said and he was right. I wasn't sorry for my Grandfather's passing, I was sorry for myself because he wasn't going to be part of my life any longer.

Hey DU, I'm sorry. I say this without reservation. I'm sorry. I can't think of any better way to put it.

[Dappleganger]

1. What you need is a big DU hug...

:grouphug:

I respect anyone who offers a heart-felt apology.

[cherokeeprogressive]

3. What I need and what I deserve are two different things.

What I deserve is a big DU boot right up my backside.

I should know better after posting here for five years that it's not a good idea to come and post bullshit stuff after having a few, especially when I'm not in a right mind (if I have a right mind which some here would say I don't, and rightly so).

Thanks for the hug. What I need to do now is go downstairs and apologize to my best half. Kinda afraid to even attempt that though as I took out my grief and frustration on her before I made an ass out myself here.

[Dappleganger]

5. Yes, you do...

because you need that sweet thing to be on your side every day of your life. :)

[pinboy3niner]

21. I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend

What you deserve is our condoences.

I've also come here and posted about a deep loss, and the response from our fellow members was what got me through it. I probably would have bailed on my little brother's memorial service if I hadn't opened up here about my loss and received such a wonderful outpouring of support here.

If you want a boot up your backside, we can give you that. But, more importantly, our hearts are with you at this time.

Our best wishes to you, and our deepest condolences on your loss.

Love & Peace,
pinboy3niner

[leftstreet]

2. I don't know how you can stomach Wild Turkey

:puke:

And forget about it...you had some valid points. Like you say you're just in a shitty mood

[cherokeeprogressive]

6. WT was my Cherokee Grandfather's poison of choice.

Normally I'd have a few glasses of White Zin, but tonight it seemed appropriate.

[Kaleva]

4. Very sorry to hear that.

Sounds like your grandfather's pastor was a very wise man. It took my wife years to realize that her perceived grief over the loss of her 1st husband was really about feeling sorry for herself.

[cherokeeprogressive]

9. I'm a crybaby and I've posted about it here before. I can cry over a commercial sometimes and

I get that hitch in my breath over so many things, it's not funny.

It's the reason you won't see me posting in Boner threads when he cries.

My Grandpa's Pastor made me SOOOO mad! I sat with him for a few hours. My Grandma thought it would be a good thing because he was my Hero and I was his only grandson. At different times I didn't know whether I should strangle him or hug him. In the end, I hugged him with all the strength I could muster and to this day he's a trusted friend even though he's in Idaho and I'm in CA.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. I am so sorry for your loss.

I can understand, have been hurting myself today. Today was my father's birthday. He would have been 83, which is unimaginable to me because I lost him to cancer at age 62. I miss him still, but especially today. So I don't think you need to ask for forgiveness. We all have our rough days and that's when having a DU family comes in handy. Just hang in there and remember that you're not alone...

Rhiannon :hug:

[PDJane]

8. My friend, everyone is entitled to be an ass

once in a while. You don't make a habit of it, so go apologize to your wife, and know there's nothing to really forgive....honest. I am sorry for your dad and the loss of your friend...and send little thoughts of support and cyber hugs.

[cherokeeprogressive]

10. It's actually easier to apologize to my DU friends than it is to go downstairs and wake her up.

She's the most understanding, most kind, gentle, and most generous person I've ever met. I think it's better that I let her sleep, and set my alarm for early tomorrow morning and greet her with something like her favorite breakfast, which is poached eggs on english muffins.

Damn. How can so many things go so wrong in one single day?

[sabrina 1]

11. Sorry you lost someone you loved.

That's hard ~

Can only speak for me, but glad you explained. Everyone has a bad day, not everyone is big enough to explain it ~

Take care of yourself and have a good sleep :hug:

[laundry_queen]

12. I'm very sorry for your loss

For the day you've had, you have every reason to be in a shitty mood. DU is nothing if not accepting and forgiving, and I'm sure everyone will understand, considering the circumstances. Sending cyberhugs your way.

[cherokeeprogressive]

14. You know what is the only thing at this moment that would make me smile?

Knowing that Skittles was coming to kick my ass for BEING such an ass.

Thanks for the hugs. They mean so much, I can't even explain.

His name was Wes. He took me on the "Father and Son" campout with the Scouts because my Dad was sick. Before that, I didn't know who he was. After that, he was a part of my life until I went into the Navy, then I made it a point to see him whenever I could.

Wes was the coach who bought new baseball gloves, cleats, and team windbreakers for everyone on the team whose parents couldn't afford them. Wes was the guy who paid for our after-game trips to the local pizza parlour, win or lose. Wes's Wife Golda was the woman who could make you feel like you were Barry Bonds at the plate because she rooted for you so loudly. I haven't even thought about calling her to tell her how bad I feel... I'm sure she has enough on her shoulders.

Tomorrow I have to call Wes Jr, Andy, Sheila, Ellen, and Carol. If I could have, I'd have been down there today with them at the house Wes and Golda still live in.

I hate life sometimes, and I'm scared that at 49, things like this are going to start happening more frequently.

I've been a butthead tonight. There's no escaping that, and no excuse for what I said earlier. I was lashing out and that's a very selfish thing to do.

Tomorrow's going to be a very hard day.

[ladyVet]

22. This is a most amazing memorial:

"His name was Wes. He took me on the "Father and Son" campout with the Scouts because my Dad was sick. Before that, I didn't know who he was. After that, he was a part of my life until I went into the Navy, then I made it a point to see him whenever I could.

Wes was the coach who bought new baseball gloves, cleats, and team windbreakers for everyone on the team whose parents couldn't afford them. Wes was the guy who paid for our after-game trips to the local pizza parlour, win or lose. Wes's Wife Golda was the woman who could make you feel like you were Barry Bonds at the plate because she rooted for you so loudly."

Just from reading this, I think he would be proud to know he meant so much to you and the other boys. :cry:

I didn't see the posts you are apologizing for (staying out of the KO stuff for now), but you have obviously suffered a great loss, and it's understandable.

"I haven't even thought about calling her to tell her how bad I feel... I'm sure she has enough on her shoulders."

Call her. :hug:

[Mojambo]

13. Commendable post. Sorry for your loss. n/t

[Raine]

15. I'm so sorry for your loss

we all have times when things touch us personally and then it comes out somewhere else. :hug:

[Kalun D]

16. Apology

accepted, but maybe it shouldn't be necessary


and if we'd known beforehand of your circumstance the Olbermann post would have been no big deal

[w8liftinglady]

17. Hey- we've all been there. Sending you a long-distance hug...

When my kid was in Iraq,I lashed out several times.
Cleanse yourself of guilt,my child.
We're like family,ya know?

[littlewolf]

18. I am sorry for your loss ....

I am sorry I can not add more .... but right now a lot of old memories are being raised ...
friends I have lost ... and my folks ... and too many other people ...

[aquart]

19. It sucks to lose a friend because they are not replaceable.

And there's an awful silence that enters your head where there would have been all the things you would have said, but now never will.

Nobody can tell you how to grieve or should. Thanks for letting us know. And express my sympathy to your wife.

[madmax]

20. When we hurt we sometimes lash out

at anything and everything. Been there... :hug:

[hlthe2b]

23. thank you for this post... It lets us understand and hopefully...

surround you with some compassion and warm thoughts. I'm sorry for your loss.

[RegieRocker]

24. We are all human and to know that is to know thyself.

[emilyg]

25. Hug.

[NNN0LHI]

26. You didn't have to do this cherokeeprogressive

I have known you long enough to know your heart is in the right place and something had to be eating at you. We don't agree with everything by a long shot but that doesn't make any difference.

I accept your apology. And admire you doing it publicly too. Not an easy thing to do. But I don't really think any apology was needed. Really.

Take care and see you later.

Don

[alphafemale]

27. You can be your worst among friends. And they love you anyway.

But thanks for the explanation regardless.

:hug: