Notice to All Banker Types from a Teacher

[kpete]

Mon Mar 07, 2011 at 08:24 AM EST
Notice to All Banker Types from a Teacher
"This is not meant in any way to be punitive."
by thalli1

................

Grades will be posted weekly in every newspaper in the country, along with individual names of bankers who are underperforming. We will be asking suggestions from other people we find in the line at the bank in order to help you to make AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress.) If you fail to meet AYP, your bank will be rated as failing and will undergo sanctions.

In order to win the future, it is my belief as a self-stated expert that ALL depositors must hit certain benchmarks by 2014. Your bank will be monitored for progress towards these goals.

Here are the benchmarks:

By 2011, 60% of your depositors must have at least $100,000 in their savings accounts.

By 2012, 75% of your depositors must have at least $500,000 in their savings accounts.

By 2013, 90% of your depositors must have at least $750,000 in their savings accounts.

By 2014, 100% of your depositors must have at least $1,000,000 in their savings accounts.

We believe these are reasonable benchmarks that will ensure all depositors our constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We the people standing in line at the bank reserve the right to increase these benchmarks any time we feel we don't have enough money.

the rest:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/07/953476/-Notice-to-All-Banker-Types-from-a-Teacher

[LaurenG]

1. OMG - This is so Great! nt.

[Angry Dragon]

2. K&R

[Raksha]

3. K & R

[demmiblue]

4. K&R

:D

[TahitiNut]

5. Perfect analogy.

K&R :thumbsup:

[proud2BlibKansan]

6. ROFL!!!

Perfect!!!

[FiveGoodMen]

7. Excellent

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. kick

[liberalhistorian]

9. Perfect!

Very apt analogy, too.

[Starry Messenger]

10. k&r

[liberalhistorian]

11. Bump

for the day crowd!