Holy shit, The Daily Show nailed it: America's Freedom Packages

[Paradoxical]

Even as someone in support of intervention in Libya, this video was undeniable.


http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-march-21-2011/america-s-freedom-packages

Your nation is of no strategic importance. And you have little in the way of natural resources, let alone, potable water.

That sounds like a Sudan.

That is such a great example... The Sudan, where religious strife, civil war and famine have killed millions. The US then offers what we call the "ambivalence package".

What would the Sudan get for that?

Well, hold on, why don't we start with what you don't get? No committed verbal, financial or physical support from the US government. But we will express periodic interest in your plight and you'll receive limited access to Bono, Sean Penn, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and anyone who's ever been in a movie with George Clooney...

But that's not the package Egypt got.

Absolutely not Jon. Because Egypt has what the United States calls 'strategic value'.

ooooh that sounds expensive. I bet they get troops!

Ohhh, no no no no no no no no no no. But they do, Jon, get the "silver freedom package". That's where America will acknowledge your protesters plight as reflecting the legitimate will of the people. And will even throw in a series of vaguely supportive, but high level, statements.

(Hillary Clinton video)

Wow, that was hard for me to tell even who she was supporting there.

Exactly, Jon. That's the "silver package" almost guarantee!!

But why didn't they get the military tomahawks with the missiles...?

Jon, that's the "platinum package". They don't qualify for that, I'll tell you why. It's a funny story because their despot was actually our friend...I think even impoverished peasants yearning to be free wouldn't want us to bomb a friend...

But what if the dictator that I'm rebelling against is a sworn enemy of the United States?...And my country sits atop a veritable ocean of oil.

Oh, Jon! Then you've just qualified for the "platinum package"...The "platinum package" includes a full scale land invasion, overthrowing your tyrannical government and helping rebuild the roads, schools and hospitals that were destroyed in our full scale invasion!

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[leftstreet]

2. Ouch

K&R

Thanks for posting this

[onecent]

3. I thought we got rid of the "unrecommend" button?????

[indimuse]

4. KNR! n/t

[Tunkamerica]

5. you have to watch the video to get the real tone

pretty good point

[Paradoxical]

6. Sorry about the continuous editing. I had to type that out from memory.

[aquart]

7. Egypt's protesters didn't need or request our aid.

In fact, the one looking for help from us was Mubarak. He didn't get any.

As for the Sudan, there was no way out once in, and it doesn't have anything we want so why would we want to stay? And no one else, not anywhere in the world, wanted to go in either.

Iraq was Bush's moron idea. Cheney's plan was that the Caspian basin oil nations would fall on their knees and worship our wonderfulness while we ruled their brownish butts for the next millennium. You know, like the Thousand Year Reich. Didn't work out all that well. Except for happy Halliburton.

I love Jon Stewart and this was certainly true enough to be funny....

[Paradoxical]

8. I've concentrated my political and social studies on the conflict in Sudan...

And all the other countries near the horn.

What has and is happening their is horrific. I can't even describe it strongly enough to get that across. And the United States has done essentially nothing to stop the blood shed. Look at Rwanda. We sat by and allowed one of the worst genocides in human history unfold.

The way we sit by and do nothing is despicable. It's hard for me to even think about how much death and suffering we've perpetrated through our willful inaction.

[joshcryer]

10. Sudan is an extremely powerful case, it's what caused the UN to adopt R2P to begin with.

We do know that the Eastern Front controls the oil in modern times. Half a million bbd is not a joke, and China did have a big role to play in that. While one wouldn't call China part of the "west" it has its own interests at stake, and it clearly went about things a lot differently than the US did. Part of that is because the US has been happier with "friendly dictators" than it would have been with democratic states (there's no denying that dictators make good capitalist partners). The US will have to clearly adapt as democracy appears to be wished for in these countries.

edit: to clarify, I think that if the US wanted that oil (of course, it did want the oil to flow, but if it wanted direct control of that oil) it would have installed a "friendly dictator."

Saudi Arabia is next, maybe not any time soon, but it'll happen. The US is going to have to just deal with that reality.

[gateley]

51. It's hard for me to even think about how much death and suffering we've perpertrated

through our willful ACTION!

Like the OP, I'm a supporter of this action in Libya, but man, I wish we would do something to help those in Sudan and others in similar situations. Since you're familiar with the area, what could we actually do to help? I just looked it up in Wiki and the ICC has issued warrants for the "President" and others - is there no way for them to execute those warrants?

Man, there's just so much suffering in the world, it's overwhelming.

[liberal N proud]

9. Stewart rarely misses

[Paradoxical]

12. Very rarely.

[xchrom]

11. Recommend

[Upton]

13. K&R

[malaise]

14. It was great

K & R

[Catherina]

15. Recommended. He nailed it, especially the last sentence. Offer not valid in West Bank or Gaza n/t

[bullwinkle428]

16. WOW. A HUUUUUUUUUUUGE K&R!

JS probably earned himself permanent place under the bus with some people, but he put it better than just about anybody has on this so far.

[DirkGently]

17. That was priceless. The ending small-print disclaimer was spot-on as well.

[Martin Eden]

18. SATIRE is closer to REALITY than the Corporate News

Please pinch me -- or slap me hard across the face.

I'd really like to wake up from this nightmare I've been having for a decade now.

For a short time I had a pleasant dream about Hope and Change, but that proved to be an illusion.

[MountainLaurel]

28. Indeed

Sometimes reading The Onion I have to check that it's not CNN.

[raouldukelives]

19. Spot on. It's never about the people

It's always about protecting global corporate interests. We've been Wall Streets greatest asset. Killing massive amounts of people to protect corporations, bankers and mutual funds.

[L0oniX]

20. K & R

[Blue Owl]

21. K&R

:kick:

[unapatriciated]

22. nailed it....K&R

[jakeXT]

23. Poor analysis on Sudan

Analysts say China's most successful African energy investment has been in Sudan, which now sends 60 percent of its oil output to China.
http://www.cfr.org/china/china-africa-oil/p9557

carve it, throw it into civil war and China has a problem

[DeSwiss]

24. Exactly.

I loved this one:

"The President does not have the power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation." ~ http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-march-21-2011/odyssey-dawn---unconstitutional-war">Barack Obama (2007)

- Riiiiight.......

K&R

[Initech]

25. That was awesome.

[orbitalman]

26. As Alan Grayson so artfully put it.........

The 'no fly zone' is a tactic looking for a strategy.

[Ramulux]

27. Maybe John Stewart..

can finally get through to some of these suddenly pro-war people. He says exactly what I have been thinking about this whole situation and he does it hilariously.

[MountainLaurel]

29. Oh my sweet baby jeebus

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Cieran_WI]

30. k&r

[Sherman A1]

31. Priceless!

:toast:

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

32. Perfect!

K&R

[shanti2]

33. This was the funniest and truest thing I have heard.

[Bluerthanblue]

36. funny?

:shrug:

[Quantess]

49. The part about having unlimited access to Bono, Angelina Jolie and George Clooney

was pretty funny.

[me b zola]

34. K&R

[Bluerthanblue]

35. guess you've got a much different sense of humor than me-

there isn't anything funny about any of this.

:thumbsdown:

[Paradoxical]

37. It's called black humor. Been around for a long time.

[Blacksheep214]

38. Funny?

I don't think so. I am growing tired of all the anti Obama crap I am constantly bombarded with.

This Daily Show bit misses the complexity of everything, and while we do pick and choose which countries we aid, if not for the Bush lies which put us into the quagmires in Iraq and A Stan, small incursions to protect human rights are needed. This is NOT a war!

Don't fucking make me say this!

I guess "Never Again" when it comes to genocide, only applies to Jews. It didn't apply to Darfur or the Sudan or other massacres.

So tell me! What does "Never Again" mean?

Where are the positive messages which support America? 24/7 negativity is wearing on me.

I have had quite enough. If we can't make decisions as a UNITED States then we should disband and be 50 separate entities.

We no longer play well even among ourselves!

[Bluerthanblue]

39. agreed, it isn't funny-

it isn't even witty imo.

Anyone with any true understanding of Darfur and Sudan, wouldn't see it as something to joke about-

Wish I could see it as something other than just another way to get in a cheap shot against Pres. Obama.

[Paradoxical]

44. I have a very extensive understanding of Darfur, Sudan, Rwanda, Chad...

It's called black humor. It's a comedy routine that is suppose to make you laugh out of the sheer absurdity of it. And in the end it's suppose to make you depressed.

That's black humor.

[SolutionisSolidarity]

42. It's not a war. We'll just be bombing Gaddafi's air defense systems, "command centers",

artillery, vehicle divisions, basically anything connected to the loyalist military, until that time that he fully and unconditionally surrenders. How could anyone confuse that for a war?

[XOKCowboy]

53. What color is the sky in your world?

This is another Middle Eastern war and we'll be there years from now.

[SolutionisSolidarity]

55. My comment was said with tongue firmly in cheek.

nm

[XOKCowboy]

58. Sorry

It's getting hard to tell if it's satire around here anymore.

[Paradoxical]

43. You don't even understand that this video supports your opinion.

[Blacksheep214]

46. Don't Understand?

Seriously? As a 55 year old Marine veteran from Nam, what don't I get?

This was a crappy attempt at satire and in the end, only served to pump up the conservatives by still more piling on of this administration. What's the point?

I do see that nobody cares to address the issue of genocide when it comes to the difference between Jewish people getting killed and ANYONE else!

Not even Israel gives a crap unless the Never Again is a direct threat to them!

Not funny, not satire, just mean spirited and too over the top. Stewart has been having too many of these. I am on a fine line of voting with my remote.

Maybe I missed the part where our President lied his ass off to get approval. Maybe he should have bullshitted about mushroom clouds and Winnebago's of death.

Let's see what happens after a week. Until then, nobody knows jack!

[Paradoxical]

48. Have you ever heard the phrase "if I wasn't laughing right now I'd be crying"?

Does that ring a bell at all?

Have you ever seen Dr. Strangelove? Or maybe you have and you consider it nothing more than inappropriate jokes about nuclear war.

Comedy is an extension of sadness and negativity. It is a form of expressing the absurd. It's highlighting just how little we care about places like the horn of Africa.

[OwnedByFerrets]

40. Nails it once again.

[Rex]

41. Sudan now Africa's third largest oil producer

http://www.afrol.com/articles/21889

Amazing how fast one can find something to contradict, well anything else on the internet tubes!!!

[Paradoxical]

45. It was not considered a strategic asset back in the 80s and 90s.

Back when we should have been intervening. That's the point of the video.

[Beartracks]

47. Nailed. It. - K. And. R.

Those guys rock. And, yeah, that disclaimer WAS spot on.

-----------------------

[Desertrose]

50. Perfect...right on the money...so to speak.

Especially the disclaimer!

[McCamy Taylor]

52. So true. Everyone knows it is all about the oil.

[undeterred]

54. Can I get Freedom Fries with that?

[Bozita]

56. How about some Freedom Bombs instead?

[patrick t. cakes]

57. What a joke this country has become...nt