Reply #6: Not a flame, but I will respond

[Boomer]

If this was simply some "feel-good" issue, I'd agree with you. But marriage is first and foremost a legal contract that codifies the rights and obligations of family members to each other and guarantees inheritance of jointly held property.

Case in point: I have a good job with medical benefits, but my partner of 12 years -- who has MS -- is uninsured. Regardless of whether or not anyone else recognizes us as a couple, I do. Which means I pay for her medical bills so she can receive treatment when she needs it. Some years her bills are negligible; last year she had gall-bladder surgery that cost nearly $8,000. My company was willing to provide partner benefits, but was NOT ALLOWED to cover her because of state regulations against it.

This year, we've changed insurers to one who does allow partner benefits, so for the first time in over ten years she's finally covered. But the legislation the Republicans are considering could strip us of those benefits and we'd be back to square one all over again. Given her medical condition, that's a very scary thought.

As is the thought that my local hospital -- in a relatively conservative community -- could keep me from visiting my partner if she was hospitalized. Some will recognize the right of non-related persons, others won't. Some will give more weight to my power-of-attorny than to her family's automatic legal right to make life-and-death decisions, but others won't. In an emergency situation, having to fall back on lawyers and the courts could mean a fatal delay.

Legally, I own our house and have to pay extra legal fees to arrange for her to inherit from my estate. Fortunately, I have no family that would contest the will, so my partner stands a good chance of not losing OUR home. Her family, on the other hand, would probably come at me with knives to get back any property that she leaves me, will or not. Just what every person wants to deal with in the middle of grieving for a lost partner -- having to mount a legal defense to keep your car, your furniture, or art on the wall that your lover's family is trying to "take back."

Fortunately, we don't have children, so we don't have to worry about losing custody if the legally defined parent dies. Or if we split up and one of loses all contact with the children because we have no legal right to visitation.

I don't give a damn about the "sentimental value" of marriage. I've made my choice and no one else needs to confirm it for me to feel good about myself. But I do envy the protections and guarantees that come with that little white document -- they could be worth every thing I hold dear in the world.

(Edited for spelling)