Reply #64: The word is empathy. How often have we heard the sentiment of the bereaved

[1monster]

to the family of someone who took the life (accidentally or otherwise) expressed as "YOU still havae your son/daughter! You can still hold them!" etc.

I've always thought that it must be so much harder to be the parent of the person who committed a heinous crime than to be the parent of the victim. The parents of the victim can greive cleanly, and remember their child in love. They will never get over the death of their child, but the pain will ease somewhat over time.

The parents of the person who committed a heinous crime not only has to mourn the the crime, but also their child; to learn to live thorugh the shame and revulsion that they also feel toward their child. They will always wonder if there was something else they could have done, whether something they did that caused the problem in the first place, even though they know that it was most likely an organic failing (nature as opposed to nurture) or something that happened that happened over which they had no control. They will carry the hell of their child's crime with them until they die. There is no cure for it.