Recovery Program for DU addicts

[ChiefHappyButt]

Note: I am not making light of the 12-step programs. They have been a godsend for millions. Please, just take this as a lighthearted attempt at humor! If it falls flat, that's okay!


1. We admitted we were powerless over our attraction to DU -- that our internet lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than the Moderators could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the enjoyment of reality as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our URL history.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact reason why we have not been able to participate in life anymore. Our lives have been taken over by DU.

6. Were entirely ready to have the admins remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked the admins to release us from this mental bondage.

8. Made a list of all persons we had pissed off because of making stupid replies, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would just piss them off more.

10. Continued to take personal inventory of web pages visited, and when we were stuck on DU for hours, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with reality as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of what the outside world is like.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.