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But they are both good friends, and we've gone on overnight wine tasting trips to the Napa valley and that sort of thing. My wife is really only friends with "the cheater", but I'm pretty good friends with both of them.
I kind of life you suggestion to tell her first, though I do prefer to be anonymous. Maybe I should send her an anonymous email..."You have two weeks to tell your husband, or I will." At least that will give her the chance to be honest or end the relationship herself, without having a third party like me drop the bomb on him. If he's OK with it, it might also reduce his embarrassment at having other people "know".
If you want the gory details, I posted them upthread. It really WAS almost as blatant as making out with someone at a party. If she keeps this up, I'm also pretty sure that he'll eventually find out anyway.
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