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Some marriages survive infidelity. If this woman is cheating, she needs to decide what to do with her marriage. Either she needs to fix things with her marriage which includes ending the affair, or she needs to get divorced. Either way the first step is for her to tell him. If you go and tell him, you will probably doom the marriage.
If you are adamant about telling him, give her the ultimatum that if she doesn't tell him, you will. I would save this until after you ask her to tell him and she refuses. If you tell him, she is going to find out who told anyway, so you might as well go to her first.
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