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Someone else mentioned it upthread, and the more I think about it, the better that idea sounds. I do think I want it to be anonymous though.
I'm thinking that I might send her an email that makes it clear that "someone" knows what's going on, and that a second email will be sent to her husband on a certain date. We'll give her a couple of weeks to deal with it herself, before a second anonymous email to him reveals the whole thing.
She'll have time to deal with it however she wants. She can tell him or leave him on her terms. The only thing she won't be able to do is keep it a secret.
It also keeps me from having to inject myself into the middle of it. If I make it clear that it's coming from me, I'll catch flak no matter how I bring this up. If it's anonymous...
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