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I am friends with a couple, more friends with her than him. Amazingly, at last year's Christmas party I was alone with him for a minute. He asked if he'd told me he'd a great trip. I said yes. He asked if he told me he had a girlfriend. He was pretty excited about it and wanted to go on but I put my hand up and said "Stop! Don't tell me another word!". I was so sorry that I knew what I did.
Only a few short years ago my husband (now ex) was having an affair. When we split up and I moved out then I had friends coming forward. Everyone had a story about my ex and his girlfriend, where they'd been or whatever. Frankly I felt somewhat betrayed by these friends who only saw fit to tell me after the fact. I realize it is a tricky position. Still, to find out in the end all knew and said nothing to me (but plenty to everyone else in some cases), yeah, I wasn't feeling too warm toward those friends.
So, in the end, I decided to tell my friend that her husband was cheating. I wasn't going to be one of those friends who enabled that stuff and fed the gossip machine. So I went over for cocktails, drank plenty of truth serum and then let the cat out of the bag. I agonized over it for about 2 months beforehand tho', it was no rash decision to tell her.
This couple is working on their marriage now. He is contrite, she has not yet fully forgiven him. We will see how it plays out.
If it hadn't happened to me I might have handled it differently.
Julie
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