Reply #4: I am on facebook and on twitter

[karynnj]

I had the same fears of saying things on line. Back in the late 1980s or early 1990s, I did read and very occasionally post on the usenet groups (the precursor to the internet). I had three very young kids, so I read the parenting group and sometimes found it useful, but was really amazed that people would put their whole lives there. I couldn't and wouldn't do that, but I occasionally posted. I did in a travel group solicit hints on what was acceptable behavior for kids before a trip to France and Spain. (very useful - one suggested in Paris that the first parent to wake take the first kid who woke out to get pastry, bread, fruit, milk and coffee for a quick painless breakfast - and suggested taking a softsided cooler and picking up bread, cheese, jams, fruit etc for a picnic lunch at noon and mentioned there were parks everywhere - with glace de chocolat (chocolate ice cream - and yeah we have some very messy pictures before wipes were used for clean up.) When I came here, I was very cautious of saying anything about my kids, because I thought it would invade their privacy. (At one point it backfired as two were angry that I did not write that I had gay daughters.)

I joined facebook because my kids and all their cousins are on it and they asked our generation and my parents to join. That is kind of cool as I am from a family of 9 kids and the cousins know each other from annual reunions. This lets us see a little bit of what they are up to. I know that some filter what we can see, but it still is an easy way to share photos (all pg) and bits of information. That the kids include us in what is public may function well for them as that that has to create at least a bit of a filter. (ie "Would I want my mom to see this".)

At nearly the same time, many JK people coincidentally were on Facebook. It was interesting to see pages from those I feel I know to some degree. I have also been friended by some neighbors and personal friends, though most people I know are not on facebook. I have also friended of been friended by a couple of high school friends - though there was no real contact made - and I have seen these people only at a 20th reunion - and I graduated 40 years ago. (writing that makes me realize that I really am OOOLLLDDD.)

The strangest thing is the collision of your "worlds". I think I am the same person here, in town, in synogogue, and with my family, but in reality, that is sometimes not 100% true. Without being dishonest, things said freely in one sphere, are down peddled elsewhere. I was freaked out when 2 people I know (and like) from synagogue showed up as "following me" on twitter, where I have yet to utter a single tweet. It was my political and online world connecting with a community, where I, like others, express political views, but that is a small part of things.

These collisions elsewhere can be interesting. A young nephew seems to have a very easy witty relationship of my back and forth comments with a friend of one of my daughter - both guys have an interest in designing computer games and are apparently good at it - my nephew is a senior in college, my daughter's friend is in his early 20s. For them and others, facebook facilitates getting advice from a friend of a friend.

For my kids' generation, these networks offer something pretty cool. My daughters are in contact with many people who they went to high school with or in the case of my college graduate, her college friends. For people like me, who left the state I went to hs and college in, this could have bridged the distance. It might also be that as interests and lives changed, those contacts would have disappeared because there was not enough to sustain them - or it could have acted as a life line to keep those whwre there was still enough in common.

So, I think it is a powerful tool - and it can be dangerous - as in the article you linked to.