Reply #20: just the same, I don't condone language policing -

[sui generis]

that's a form of authoritarianism itself.

and I especially don't think that we should elevate and enshrine our linguistic devils, or us gay folk could never tolerate being "queer" for exactly the same reasons. There are also people whose authoritarianism is rooted in xenophobia, and they elevate themselves merely by aligning themselves with the majority and pretending to speak on its behalf.

I suppose the best blanket rule is each his or her own, at least in language. In conversation the responsible contender is the one who hears the message before judging the words that crafted it.