|
Cheney to Rename Himself "Ronald Reagan"
June 9, 2004
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the ultimate tribute to the deceased 40th president, current vice president Dick Cheney announced today that he will be renaming himself "Ronald Wilson Reagan".
"I can think of no higher way to memorialize our beloved former president and leader of the Republican Party than to rename myself after him," Cheney told reporters summoned to his undisclosed location.
Political analyists immediately speculated that the Cheney name change would vastly improve his chances of remaining Bush's pick for the vice presidential nomination.
"I would imagine that a Bush-Reagan ticket would be very attractive to Republicans and would improve Bush's prospects for re-election," said Moe Howard of MSRNC. "And the renaming will certainly stop Cheney's negative poll numbers from going up even higher."
Cheney said that he would obtain the name change legally by going directly to Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia for the formalization of his renaming.
"Scalia owes me one for the hunting trip I took him on," said Cheney.
----------
|