Small intimate wedding stories needed....

[YellowRubberDuckie]

Here's why: Big wedding off. Say hello to the JOP plan...We'll be getting married still...but without all the people we kinda know, without the big dress:


ANd without my mother.

The dress is about what we wanted to spend on the wedding itself. I was supposed to borrow a dress, but thanks to my huge busom, it didn't fit. Then my mom decided to play Joan Crawford and say that we needed to move the wedding to Sunday because if she couldn't find someone to work for her, she wouldn't be there because her she couldn't afford to shut down the store for one day. BULLSHIT! So we decided to take away her option to even come. Anyway, so we're going to buy tshirts, get married in jeans at the court house, then take all the people we like out to dinner and then go dancing at a club in Bricktown. I'm a little sad that I don't get that dress, cause I'm telling you it makes me look AWESOME. But It's ok. I'd rather not go into debt and have some fun. I'm marrying my best friend, and that's more important than some silly dress.

Please tell me good stories of your JOP wedding. I'm nervous. Thanks.
Duckie

[Tripper11]

1. Funny you should ask!

It's our 7th Anniversary today.

I was totally NOT into anything big, neither was Jen. So we ended up finding a Justice of the Peace, called a couple friends, my Mom showed up, we drove up to the mountains overlooking Vancouver BC, and got ourselves hitched up. 15 minutes and then it was off to a restaurant for a nice meal....and, as they say...it's all downhill from here.
I have been thinking lately of maybe doing something a little "bigger" when we hit 10...invite some friends family and re-do our vows sort of thing...but we're happy with the way we did it!

[Pithlet]

3. It's our second anniversary today

We did the courthouse thing. I was 8 months pregnant. I cried. My mom and our older son was there. It was sweet.

[Tripper11]

9. Happy Anniversary to you!!!!!!

:party:

[Pithlet]

11. And to you!

[blondeatlast]

2. Total of 12 people, first and only marriage. Next year is year 9.

Unitarian ceremony at a ramada in a lovely park in the desert. Just the families.

We spent our money on the honeymoon although my mom insisted on buying a $150 dollar dress for me.

My hubby's brother gave us a bang of a reception and a good time was had by all. I wouldn't have trded my ceremony and reception for anything.

We had a lovely honeymoon in Hawaii and are still married, while my friends who I was a bridesmaid for (FOUR) have all gotten divorced.

I don't know if there's a cause and effect there, but let's put it this way: my hubby and I spent our time planning PAST the ceremony (home, kids, careers, location). I think we spent maybe 2 hours total planning the ceremony.

[evlbstrd]

4. We were married by a musician who got ordained somehow.

At our friends' house. We made our own clothes, friends donated food and drink. She was pregnant with our daughter, so her bouquet was babies' breath with little plastic babies. We had our honeymoon for one nijght in a hotel downtown. The next morning was a prenatal visit.
Sadly, after 20 years, we are now separated. But we get along better now than we have for some time.

[xmas74]

5. Best friends wedding.

It was a decent size but very little money was spent. We had a friend who became a minister through the back of a magazine do the service as his wedding present. Everyone wore what they had in their closets-no new clothes. And the reception was a huge cookout/pot luck where all the close friends and family (in a two hour area) brought covered dishes and salads. They cooked hot dogs, hamburgers and brats on the grill. The cake was actually a number of cheesecakes in different flavors that a group of us had made two days before the wedding (yes, even the bride got involved in making them). The entire event was on a friend's farm. Everyone who lived nearby brought lawn chairs. The wedding music was provided by her cousin (flute player in the high school band. It was her wedding present). And the party afterward was a simple stereo that someone had brought w/ them and hooked up. Everyone labeled their own cd's and there was a wide variety of music. They provided a few kegs and mixers for everyone to enjoy.
And they asked for no presents-helping w/ the wedding was the present.

[watercolors]

6. Sounds like fun

Our neighbors daughters wedding had to be moved into a gymnasium because of weather. It was to be a big garden wedding. Hurricane Katrina spoiled plans. So caterer was canceled, big tent, and band. Mother decided to cancel it! Daughter decided to get married on her day! up shot, a very nice small wedding.Bride called her friends and said its a pot-. luck reception, dress casual and bring your favorite CD.She had a case of wine and soft drinks. It turned out to be great fun, minister had us all agree we will help support them thru this first year of marriage. Children were playing basketball on one side of the gym, rest of us dancing on the other. Bride just wore a summery halter dress, groom tropical shirt and white slacks. It is a wedding I will remember because it was so full of love and freindship, and that it what matters the most. So enjoy your day, have fun with your friends, and be happy you are marrying your best friend. I married mine 51 years ago.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. Here's a picture of the day I married the love of my life:

and with my daddy:



It was nine years last July.

I made my dress and my hat ( I was going for a Jackie O-ish look) and his boutinierre...we only had close family there, and went out for lunch. It was a beautiful day....all I needed was right there in MrG's eyes. It's a memory that I cherish. It's the day I handed my heart to him and I haven't regretted it since. My father in law wasn't sure if he could get the day off (sigh), but he did. My daddy drove me to the courthouse to give me away...and my beloved grandpa was there to see it. We took some pictures at the Gazebo outside the courthouse. If I die tomorrow, it will be the last thought I think of. The best thing I ever did.

It's not the trappings, it's the commitment and contentment.

All the best to you...ALWAYS,

Hugs,
~Laura

[Pithlet]

12. The pic of you and your dad is so sweet.

:)

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Awww, thanks Pithlet.

He was the first person to love me to pieces despite all my faults. And he still loves me with even more faults. He's been a wonderful Dad. I am lucky. :hi:

[asthmaticeog]

8. My best friend's wedding was cheap and badass.

The ceremony was held in the reading garden of the downtown public library, a lovely and placid setting. The processional music was played by a single bagpiper. In lieu of tux rentals and a gown, the bride, groom and the groom's father and brother all wore kilts in the groom's family's tartan. The reception was buffet style and held at a restaurant run by a friend of the bride. They spent very little, and it was wonderful. In contrast, my best friend's brother got married a couple of of months ago, and they did one of those gruesomely expensive weddings like those god damn bridal magazines insist you have to have. It was loathsome. The food was rubbish, the personalized engraved crystal from Things Remembered was rubbish, the hall was rubbish, the music was rubbish, nobody danced, horrid time all around. For only $30,000. Dumbfuck.

So I highly respect your decision to blow all that shit off. But I must say, that IS a really cool wedding dress you're leaving behind.

[Habibi]

10. I spent 20 bucks on my dress

and we had a backyard wedding with a local justice, a tent, 50 of our closest friends and relatives, BBQ food, and belly dancers. It was an awesome party and cheap!

So sorry your mom has created problems. We were fortunate that way--nobody acted like an asshole, everybody who came just wanted to celebrate the occasion and have a good time.

Of course, my husband and I are in our forties, and spending tons of money on a "dream" wedding just didn't make sense to either of us. I applaud your decision not to go into debt, defy convention, and do what you want!

[RevCheesehead]

13. I once performed a wedding for a couple refused one by their church.

They were Baptists. Since the bride was pregnant, the minister refused to do the wedding. One of my church members was a friend of hers, and asked me if I'd help them out.

The wedding was in a local park. They found a clearing where we had the ceremony, and refreshments were piled on the nearest picnic table. There were maybe 20 people there.

It still was one of the nicest weddings I remember doing.

[xmas74]

16. I have a friend who was also refused by the Baptist church.

Her fiance had been married once before and she was newly pregnant. I took her to my church and they helped her out-gladly. She now attends every Sunday, as does her husband.
Never understood why someone should be denied a wedding(btw-they have been married for five years now and are going strong).

[RevCheesehead]

17. It boggles the mind.

The minister told the woman she was living in sin, and he couldn't marry her. A clergy friend of mine said "yeah - let's just perpetuate that sin by refusing to marry them."

I did ask her how she felt about a church that wanted her to remain a member, but wouldn't marry her. I got the impression that she didn't really care that much. But her mom was really grateful. I think that was important, too.

[xmas74]

18. It was.

And it's wonderful that you did marry them. They deserved a chance. They wanted to do the right thing (for them). No one should have denied them that chance.

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. My Catholic church had this to say when I tried to baptize my born

out of wedlock baby. "What you have done is commit a sin worse than murder"...to which I replied, "So I would have been better off having an abortion and confessing it on Saturday, 3PM?"...Sometimes the church is blind.

[xmas74]

21. Been there, done that.

That's when I began looking around for another church to attend. I've been pretty happy for the most part w/ UMC. They've treated me well and never said anything about my personal life. And there are a few other single moms (never married) at my church too. We have a group and no one has made a single comment about it.

[RevCheesehead]

22. This really saddens me.

These priests and ministers seem to forget why they are pastors, and even more, whom they represent. Jesus will have a few things to say to them, I'm sure.

(then again, he's probably got a few things to say to me, too.)

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. I'm sure he is darned tired of talking to us humans.

:)

[Ilsa]

25. That happened to my friend also! And she told them off as well.

She eventually left that parish for another where the priest was more accepting of her baby.

[Ilsa]

26. Good deal! Glad you did that for them. My dad was

a part time minister for a small country church, and he married anyone who wanted to be married, as long as he knew they took it seriously. He would chat with them a little, give them some encouragement, and help them out. He said anyone who wanted to be married in a church was probably serious enough about what they were doing, and he didn't want to run them off to the JP.

[raptor_rider]

15. We didn't have a JOP wedding

however, it wasn't a big one. Guess it is the perks of my hubby's parents church and that our whole wedding cost (including my dress, my daughter's flower girl dress, the gathering after wards) only cost a total of $1800. My sister's however did do the JOP. Both were in the back yard of my parents house. Both were done by a judge that was a long time friend of my parents. Both ceremony's were beautiful. My first sister ended her marriage due to circumstances that I will not mention, though she got married again by the JOP, in the Judge's chambers and to this day, they are still married and have two boys. My second sister that was married in the back yard just celebrated their 14th anniversary and have 3 kids. No matter how you get married: church; court house; minister; judge; as long as you are committed to the other, that magic day, no matter who is performing the ceremony, you WILL live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! :loveya:

PS: Congrats on the wedding. No matter where you have it, or who is there, it is just for the two of you, and that is what matters. I wish a full and happy life between the two of you!!! :loveya:

EDIT: Shame on me. Did not include what I wanted to say in the PS. :hide:

[bigwillq]

19. That dress is beautiful but

I'm sure you'll look amazing no matter what you wear. It's YOUR wedding, do what you want. It's YOUR day and if people can't be there, fuck 'em.:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

28. I knew I loved you, will!

:hug:

[Ilsa]

24. Don't give up on wearing something special.

There are some awesome dresses at resale shops for really good prices. David's Bridal in San Antonio sells them for $99. Or buy a dress you like and add some special trim to it from the fabric store. I did that to a $10 cotton knit shirt for this weekend, and everyone thought I'd spent alot of money on it.

BTW, I know about that bosom problem as I have it also. It's really ahrd to find a dress that fits, so sometimes I sew for myself.

I like that white dress with the red trim.

You are much better off not going into debt. Just try watching "Bridezillas once or twice and you'll see how people set up their marriages to fail over a stupid wedding!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

27. That dress is from david's bridal...

And since I'm plus sized, no chance of getting a $99 dress. I'm happy. We're making tshirts and I do get a new outfit...one I can rewear later. It's all good. Thanks for the advice!!