Life is one large, self-deluding lie.

[Writer]

So why do we continue what we know to be false?

[Beware the Beast Man]

1. Sometimes apple peels get caught between my teeth.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I have a cracked tooth and rice gets stuck in the crack.

[Sugar Smack]

3. My dentist says I'm going to hell if I don't floss 3 times a day.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. What's a dentist?

[progmom]

5. Even though I know flossing is really good for me and my teeth

....I can't make myself do it. What's wrong with me??

[Sugar Smack]

6. You should eat more celery! It's just like flossing.

[progmom]

21. but even then i am lying to myself

...for I eat my celery with blue cheese dressing. :cry:

[Sugar Smack]

44. You have to *work* the celery.

Then you'll get just the results you want! :patriot:

[progmom]

48. did you know that you burn more calories eating celery

than celery actually contains?

although, if you dip it in said blue cheese dressing, you have to run around the block 17 times while eating it for the same thing to be true. x(

[billyskank]

57. Hi progmom!

:hug:

[progmom]

82. hi billyskank!

:hug:

[EstimatedProphet]

47. That's called lubrication

[Swede]

7. What's floss?

nt

[Sugar Smack]

11. Well, it's like fishing line, only thinner. Thank god.

[Misunderestimator]

27. I think some people use fishing line.

[EstimatedProphet]

49. I think she uses rope.

[Sugar Smack]

64. I hear she uses police tape

and LIKES it. :scared:

[azmouse]

8. What are teeth?

[Susang]

12. Large, self-deluding lies

Or so I've heard. :D

[Misunderestimator]

19. So why do we continue what we know to be false teeth?

:D

[Sugar Smack]

26. My head just exploded.

Teeth everywhere! :rofl:

[Susang]

30. Will it reassemble itself?

Or will you have to purchase dentures? :-(

[Misunderestimator]

41. What's the use? It's all delusion.

illusion... collusion... confusion... extrusion

[Susang]

42. Extrusion

See? It all comes back to molars. :D

[Sugar Smack]

56. Contusion.

That's what I got when my wisdom teeth were taken out. :D

[Susang]

58. Confusion

Is what happens when I receive nitrous oxide. :crazy:

[Sugar Smack]

61. Collusion

is what happens when my dentist and his assistant decide to withhold the laughing gas. :silly:

[Susang]

73. Protrusion

What happens to my one side of my face after dental work. :D

[Sugar Smack]

75. Conclusion

is what happens after I am in bed for 3 days after oral surgery. :woohoo:

[Susang]

10. I have a cracked tooth myself!

What a strange coincidence! :crazy:

[Sugar Smack]

15. That is a very odd coincidence indeed.

You you get rice stuck in yours too? If so: :scared:

[Susang]

17. Not rice as much as

Popcorn! :wow:

[Sugar Smack]

24. You get popcorn stuck in your teeth TOO?

:wow:

[Susang]

31. Eerie, isn't it?

Hold me, I'm frightened! :scared:

[Sugar Smack]

52. I'm with ya!

:popcorn: :tinfoilhat: :hug:

[azmouse]

54. Rice gets stuck in my crack too!

Ohhhh. Wait. You meant teeth, didn't you???

[Sugar Smack]

65. Nice sofa!!!!

:toast:

[Shine]

9. Is Truth subjective or absolute?

:shrug:

[EstimatedProphet]

51. It's absolutely subjective

[Shine]

60. I totally agree.

:hi:

[Misunderestimator]

63. I agree theoretically.

[Sugar Smack]

86. I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know

...if you know what I mean :bounce:

[Hardrada]

87. There are some knowns that are known....

[Misunderestimator]

13. Sometimes when I wake up, my hair sticks straight up.

Other days... it looks pretty good.

[Sugar Smack]

14. You almost sounded like Dionne Warwick for a minute there!

[Misunderestimator]

16. Sometimes, lonely nights turn into sunny days.

:D

[Sugar Smack]

20. Sometimes, my love is stronger than the universe.

:rofl:

[Misunderestimator]

22. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes

:rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

59. Sometimes, Foolish pride is all that I have left

:o

[Beware the Beast Man]

68. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

Shark goes into water. Our shark.

[DS1]

18. I wash my hands only with cold water because I hate myself

:cry:

[Misunderestimator]

25. I rinse my eyes with boiling water for the same reason.

:cry:

[DS1]

28. I stare into the sun until everything goes black

[Misunderestimator]

29. I don't use those special glasses during total eclipses.

[DS1]

33. ___

[Misunderestimator]

39. Dude.

[azmouse]

23. I like pie.

[Susang]

32. What kind?

[azmouse]

35. Sour cherry.

[Susang]

38. Illuminating

Your choice of pie can say a lot about your personality, you know. ;-)

[azmouse]

43. yikes

[Susang]

53. Don't worry

I won't tell. ;-)

[DS1]

36. What kind is not important, it's all about taking a slice out of the great

circle of life. Well, illusionary key lime pie of life.

[Sugar Smack]

55. Chin up, Sartre.

We all know life's a pecan pie with cool whip. :D

[Strong Atheist]

71. So do I! all kinds are good; some are better than others...

;-)

[Deja Q]

34. Because sex is fun?

[azmouse]

37. Since when?

[EstimatedProphet]

45. Since last Tuesday

Didn't you get the memo?

[azmouse]

50. ...

[Sugar Smack]

46. *snort*

:spray:

[Beware the Beast Man]

40. Seriously, though....

Whatever is wrong, you'll get through it.

I hope you got a giggle out of this.

[Writer]

79. This entire thread is a scream.

I'm just gonna sit back and :popcorn:

But hey - three people recommended this thread. Only THREE? Where are the other two??? The philosophical greatness of DU is preeminent in this thread.

[Sugar Smack]

85. I am fervently hoping the other two add their nominations!

I was one; I'm going to have some :popcorn: with you. :hi:

[meegbear]

62. Because death blows

[In_The_Wind]

90. Most of the time I will agree with you on this one.

[Burma Jones]

66. Hedonism

Or religious ecstasy

Or you figure you're going to a better place

Or Art

[GumboYaYa]

67. Because the existence of a lie implies that truth exists somewhere. n/t

[Sugar Smack]

69. Your username alone

makes me want to have some gumbo & watch the "Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood"

:D

[GumboYaYa]

76. It's a good day for that here in St. Louis. Rainy and cold...brrr...

Now I'm hungry and wanna go home.

[Sugar Smack]

78. Let's sing, then. That'll warm us up. Are you high or low?

We'll harmonize. I'm low, but I've been told I can also be high. :)

[GumboYaYa]

84. Usually high, but I'm at work right now....

I need a rim shot icon.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

70. Because we get to eat, sleep, have sex and pet dogs

[SOteric]

72. Why not?

[taterguy]

74. cuz Lester Bangs died for our sins

Just for the record, I would like to have it be known by anyone who cares that I don’t think life is a perpetual dive. And even though it’s genuinely frightening, I don’t think Richard Hell’s fascination with death is anything else but stupid. I suspect almost every day that I’m living for nothing, I get depressed and I feel self-destructive a lot of the time and a lot of the time I don’t like myself. What’s more, the proximity of other human beings often fills me with overwhelming anxiety, but I also feel that this precarious sentience is all that we’ve got and, as simplistic as may seem, it’s a person’s duty to the potential of his own soul to make the best of it. We’re all stuck on this miserable earth where life is essentially tragic, but there are glints of beauty and bedrock joy that come shining through from time to precious time to remind anyone who cares to see that there is something higher and larger than ourselves. And I am not talking about your putrefying gods, I am talking about a sense of wonder about life itself and the feeling that there is some redemptive factor you must at least search for until you drop dead of natural causes. And all the Richard Hells are chickenshits who trash the precious gift too blithely, and they deserve to be given no credence, but shocked awake in some violent matter. Either that or be spanked and put to bed.

[jane_pippin]

77. Yeah, but what can you do? Here's a picture of a monkey:

Look--he's waving hello to you. And he's wearing a festive onsie. That helps, right?

[EstimatedProphet]

80. Snakes on a plane, man

Waddya gonna do?

[jpgray]

81. Yep--it's often the tenor of an overmodified metaphor

[patcox2]

83. Angst is so over, ennui is where its at.

I am so bored with it all.

[Hardrada]

88. Ennui keep moving right along, folks!

[Writer]

89. ennui - en-OOH-ee

"Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom"

A quick dictionary reference for the kiddos.

[Sugar Smack]

95. I have a little of both!

:toast:

[swag]

91. Yeah, ain't it groovy?

[Lilith Velkor]

92. Nothing better to do, I guess.

[swag]

93. So wait a minute.

The lie is deluding itself?

[leftofthedial]

94. because we are all horny

and we think the next one will be great

[El Fuego]

96. Someone needs a COCKTAIL.

[no name no slogan]

97. I make in my pants sometimes