"...she was terrified you were coming on to her."

[billyskank]

So I was just told. Clearly that would be a fate worse than death. :eyes:

That must make me the most despicable person in the entire fucking world. Even Adolf Fucking Hitler had a girlfriend.

:nuke:

[NewWaveChick1981]

1. WTF???

:grr: I'll kick their ass... :mad: Who the hell would say something like that to you???? :hug:

[billyskank]

14. It's okay, sweetie

Nobody has time to kick that many asses. :hug:

[Deja Q]

2. But, as with me, you're not Adolf Hitler.

Don't bother with people. There's nothing wrong with choosing celibacy.

I get the look and the phrase too.

All one can deal is live with it.

So I live knowing I'm a freak.

But at least free to do anything else except the world's oldest profession. Whatever. People aren't worthy of what I have to offer and I've got a lot to offer.

And I suggest you adopt the same attitude. It makes rejection comparatively palatable.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Obviously, she's either nuts

or not into guys.

[billyskank]

18. Thanks Midlo

Although thinking about it, I'm not into guys either, but if I realised one was coming on to me (heh, happens almost every day here :7) I wouldn't be terrified.

[Radical Activist]

4. Its funny

How many women won't just decide they aren't interested if a man they aren't attracted to hits on them. If she's not interested, the man was "creepy" and it was highly offensive for him to even approach the subject. But, if a man she was attracted to did the exact same thing, its perfectly OK. There are certainly a lot of men who say creepy and sick things to women, but I notice a lot of women sometimes define what's creepy based on nothing but how interested they are in the man hitting on her.

[Deja Q]

5. That's how the world works.

We don't make the rules.

[billyskank]

Clearly everybody knows who likes them and who doesn't

It's just that I was born with some defect which means I do not have this intuition.

I have a new idea. I'll just assume that everybody doesn't want me, and it'll save us all much bother.

[Radical Activist]

16. That's the problem.

Most women also expect men to be more aggressive romantically so basically men have to decide to either be lonely most of the time or take chances and suck it up when a woman decides to be a jerk about it. Anymore, I almost never hit on a woman that doesn't make it really obvious that she's interested, but I'm also perfectly happy being single.

[ThomCat]

67. I was born lacking that intuition too.

Which is why I flirt with straight guys so much. :P

I'm sorry she was so rude to you. I think you're adorable! :hug:

[Tyrone Slothrop]

35. There's a great SNL skit about that

Featuring Tom Brady in an "old" sexual harassment video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkyhVZWY3ls

On edit: Whoops! Meant to post that as a reply to #4

[RetroLounge]

6. Terrified?

What an odd word to use...

RL

[ZombieNixon]

7. That's fucked up, dude.

x( :pals:

[miss_american_pie]

8. Obviously the problem is hers

:hug:

[Deja Q]

9. Given the predominance of rape and abuse against women,

can anybody feel surprised she may have had that reaction? (I'm not suggesting anything about anybody, but as I started thinking of the other person's perspective, I can understand what sort of thoughts she may or may not have had.)

[billyskank]

11. There is much truth in what you say

I just can't shake the "eeeeeeew! He is coming on to me!" feeling.

[Deja Q]

20. As a person who got that phrase all too often in my life,

you'll get used to it.

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

15. Yes, but if that's the case

she chooses how she responds.

[Deja Q]

19. What if she had been raped?

She will be inherently less... trusting... of people. It wouldn't be difficult for those who have undergone real trauma to become fearful and paranoid of others. Especially when it involves sexuality, the most personal and (as we're told) special of issues...

What if she is conflicted?

It may still be her choice, but people also say "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And when it comes to emotions, people do all sorts of things to feel protected as a survival mechanism. I should know...

[miss_american_pie]

21. Then that's a horrible tragedy

More so for her that she isn't healing from it, than that she inadvertantly hurt billyskank's feelings.

And :hug: for you.

[billyskank]

23. The person concerned is very vivacious

not flirty, but very outgoing. She doesn't seem like one who is nursing some psychological sexual trauma.

[idgiehkt]

28. whose word is 'terrified'?

hope this isn't a work situation that came from h.r. or something. When I think of unwanted come ons the words I mostly think of are 'annoying', 'irritating', stuff like that...not terrifying. I had a really bad reaction to something said to me one time when I was a server (I cried) but I was in a bad spot emotionally and it just hit me wrong. But I don't think I've ever reacted in 'terror' to any come on I've been on the receiving end of. Wonder if the third party here is just over-dramatic or something...

[billyskank]

32. I don't know

that is a valid question. I got the information second hand. I don't actually know who insulted me, her or the one who told me.

[idgiehkt]

38. a friend of mine used to say

"unless you hear it from the horse's mouth, it's fantasy". Does that make sense to you? It always kind of made me want to slap her a little, lol. But who would use a word like terrified anyway...that's just stupid. The person in question might be upset to know this is how it was put to you. I know I would be.

[Trigger Hippie]

10. Maybe she was just shy?

I've had that reaction before around men I thought were attractive, but since I'm shy around guys sometimes, I've had reactions that bordered on terror if I thought they were being flirty with me or hitting on me.

Don't take it too hard. It could be an emotional issue that she needs to deal with. Just my opinion.... :)

[hfojvt]

12. If you are the most despicable, then you would be a good match for

Ann Coulter. I hear she's available. :hide:

[Bunny]

13. billy, I don't understand.

A woman was "terrified" that you were coming on to her? That is really weird - that she would use the word 'terrified', and of course, that she would be terrified of a nice fellow such as yourself. How very odd.

Anyway, do you want some of us to come over there and kick her ass? ;)

[LaurenG]

17. Billyskank

You are in no way a terrifying individual.:cry: Someone is really into them self. Whomever it was has given themselves too much importance. I am sorry, those wounds suck dude. I know.:loveya: :hug:

[ForrestGump]

22. Don't worry about it. You're the

King, man. She obviously couldn't handle that.




Plenty of other chicks out there, baby...

[idgiehkt]

24. I so utterly and completely feel your pain.

I know what this feels like...right now I am getting it from my sister-in-law, of all people. I have been clocked exactly one time in my life as gay/bi/whatever, by a fundy landlord who put a sign in the yard across the street from where I was living with a bible verse on it (ooh, let's google..."Romans 26-That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other" New Living Bible), anyway, I digress...

I'm not a male but since I sneak up on people I get this vibe from straight women all the time once they find out and it drives me OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND. Terrified, I hear you. Makes me feel like a rapist or something, the way they act sometimes, and it's such a joke because it's always women that I wouldn't even ever find attractive anyway. I've never figured out a way to address it, and I'm afraid if I tried I'd say something like 'look you ugly bitch don't flatter yourself, I'm not after your bod' or something evil like that, because I find it so insulting. If I want to get laid I'll pick a lesbian who actually might know what the fuck she's doing, thank you very much.

It's true what someone above said. If it's someone they are attracted to, it's fine, everyone else is a creepy, gutter dwelling troll. Totally weird. It can really bring you low, I know.

[LeftyMom]

25. Her issues do not reflect your desirability

You're a handsome, funny, smart guy. You'll make a great boyfriend when the right girl turns up. In the meantime, don't even think about compromising yourelf for Miss Not Quite Right.

:hug:

[buddhamama]

26. i am inclined to think...

it was merely a rather unfortunate choice of words.


although, having red some of the comments, i tend to agree with HypnoToad too. If the Lady was terrified, we must ask ourselves why? we do not know her or her background, therefore we cannot fairly judge the situation or her reaction to it.

i do not think her terror ( if in fact terror was what she was feeling) was/is directly related to you.


i am sorry, sweetie. you are not the plague or the most despicable person, worse than Hitler. You are a sweet soul. :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

27. Bingo...

you said it much better than I, my dear :loveya:

and :hug: to Billy as well :)

[Guy Fawkes]

29. "Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend" By Mr. T Experience

I still haven't found a girlfriend,
Though i've
tried a lot.
So, can you help me please,
It's
tougher than i thought.

The odds are pretty good,
but the goods are pretty odd.
Though at this point,
I'll take anything you've got.

I see
this all the time,
Nice girls in love with jerks,
What
could they be thinking?
Tell me how it works.

If
i got some problems,
Well i wouldn't be the first.
But the ones I have in mind are even worse.

And
even Hitler had a girlfriend,
Who he could always call,
That would always be there for him
In spite of all his
faults
He was the worst guy ever.
reviled and
despised,
Even Hitler had a girlfriend
So why
can't I?
Why can't I?

Life is full of
contradictions
Hard to understand
And for every happy
woman,
There's a lonely man

Nixon had his
puppy.
Charles Manson had his clan
God forbid that i
get a girlfriend.

Even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could call his own,
To sweeten days of
bitterness,
and feeling all alone

I'm not
as bad as Hitler,
But that doesn't mean a thing,
Since they'd rather be with Hitler, more than me
I
don't see, why they'd rather be with Hitler,
more
than me.

[MissMillie]

30. You can come on to me if you like

I won't be afraid.

I won't guarantee I'll let you pick me up, but I won't be afraid.

[LaurenG]

31. Me too, in fact I'd be flattered

He's adorable.

[ceile]

56. Me three!

Billyskank, you're a hottie! :blush:

[raccoon]

33. Yeah, Hitler had a girlfriend. He also had mucho power.

Maybe that's why he had a girlfriend much younger than he was.

Sorry that happened to you. Lots of times, the way people react to us is about them, not us. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

[Crazy Dave]

34. Damn!

That reminds me of those involuntary erections I'd get on a date when I was a teenager. It just totally gives you away and you can't deny it.

[anarch]

36. I think you misread the OP, dude...

it said "terrified you were coming on TO her."

err, wait...maybe I'm...that is...uhh...:yoiks:

[idgiehkt]

39. .

:rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

37. Some people you just rub wrong

Not you. but people in General
Right now there is a certain Female Duer who viscerally hates me And I haven't done a thing to her.
Apology's and trying to make peace has no effect.
So I am giving up on this duer.
And she will be the only person I have ever used the ignore button on.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions about this girl
You don't know her story.People use unfortunate words some times.
I say just move on.
You aren't going to change her.
And you aren't going to win her love or even friendship

[Crazy Dave]

40. I don't put people on ignore

I just ignore them. No big deal. We don't know both sides of the story and the ""...she was terrified you were coming on to her." sounds like someone told this information to the OP versus the actual individual. I wonder if her actual quote differed any?

[Left Is Write]

41. Whatever the situation was...

I do agree that the use of the word "terrified" was hyperbolic.

You are far from despicable.

[Missy Vixen]

42. I'm so sorry to read this

You did nothing to deserve this. If she wasn't interested, she was free to walk away, mention a significant other, or simply ignore you. To say that she was "terrified" -- hyperbole much?

Bad. I'm so, so sorry, and you need a hug. :hug:
Julie

[BarenakedLady]

43. I don't even know you

but I can't imagine having that reaction. Feel free to hit on me. LoL. No one ever does.

[Guava Jelly]

49. I cant believe that you have such a nice EYE

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

53. OMG!

Are you hitting on my eye?

:rofl:

My eye thanks you, though the other one is quite pissed.

[Guava Jelly]

58. Well the "eye" is sending me lewd signals

The other eye is a prude
:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

64. Tis true

Already you know my eyes so well.

[Guava Jelly]

66. Maybe someday you will grace us with the rest of you.

But Take your time I'll keep an "eye" out for it.
:)

[BarenakedLady]

70. Perhaps,

young grasshopper, perhaps.

[AirmensMom]

55. With THAT user name?

Welcome to the Lounge! You'll have more hits than you know what to do with ... especially if you post a butt shot! :rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

60. Hehehe

Suuuuure I will.

Thanks for the welcome btw. :hi:

Hmmmmm, butt shot...

[AirmensMom]

62. I've heard ...

that cleavage shots are just as good. On the other hand, if you're really barenaked when you get the shots taken, you could probably break all the tread-locking records. :P

[BarenakedLady]

65. *crosses fingers*

Yet another goal to shoot for.

[zonkers]

44. YOU are BILLY SKANK ---

"The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude."

-- Mike Damone

[idgiehkt]

45. excellent quote

thanks for that. I saw him in something recently but can't remember what it was.

[zonkers]

46. Classic example of an actor "done in" by being too good in a role.

Don't you think? I can't see him in anything without thinking, "Wow, it's that sleaze Damone!"

[idgiehkt]

48. so true

I think he played a drug dealer on an episode of Will and Grace that I saw a re-run of lately, but I always think the same thing when I see him.

[BarenakedLady]

47. Love it!

:)

[AirmensMom]

50. Well, then ...

it's official. She's either:

a) nuts,
b) into not-so-nice guys, or
c) all of the above.

:shrug:



:hug::loveya:

[billyskank]

51. Maybe I'm just an asshole

:hug:

[AirmensMom]

52. I have an asshole radar.

And you don't come close to setting it off. :hug:

Honestly, if you were here and my girls were single, you could probably have your choice of them. They like nice guys. :loveya: (So do I, but I'm old enough to be your Mum! :cry:)

[billyskank]

54. Ahem

the only thing that stops me from coming on to you is your marriage. It has NOTHING to do with your age. :loveya:

[AirmensMom]

57. ...

:blush: I'm speechless. :blush:


... but not "blushless". :P

:loveya: :hug:

[lizziegrace]

59. Billy!!

Add me to the list. You can pick me up anytime. :loveya:

:hug:

[cwydro]

61. Well, WERE you

coming on to her? Not that there's anything wrong with that...just wondering what the situation was...maybe I missed something...

[nini]

63. Here's some constructive criticism

were you too aggressive? Perhaps you were more 'interested' than she is used to? Hard to say since you didn't really give any details.


Not all women are comfortable with too much attention or pursuing. Do yourself a favor and learn to read the signs so you don't get a reaction like that. Sometimes you won't be able to read someone correctly, so err on the side of caution. If a woman is interested you'll know it. If not, let it go and move on to someone who will be.

[Sugar Smack]

68. Had you offered to "show her your etchings"?

:rofl: :loveya:

[SOteric]

69. Wow.

If that's an accurate reflection of any woman's thoughts in regard to your attentions, (and I'm dubious that the speaker was in any way accurate) I can only assume that the young lady in question has some unresolved traumas regarding her own sensuality. It really can't possibly have anything to do with you. You're a pleasant looking fellow with a fun personality.

Wait.

You weren't picking your nose at the time or anything, were you?

[CAcyclist]

71. If this was told to you second hand-

I'll bet the person who said the word "terrified" is the one with an agenda.

[Callalily]

72. Oh Billy!

I'm just in shock! In shock that someone would say something so rude to you! The best, and as a matter of fact, the only thing for you to do is to brush it off. Please don't let her rude comment offend you, as hard as that may be to do. She apparently is lacking in social skills, and that's not your fault.

Here's multiple for you.

[MiniMandaRuth]

73. Fuck them.

If I was ten years older I'd be all over you like a trekkie gets all over spock ears.

[reyd reid reed]

74. Damn

Maybe she was afraid that you were coming on to her because she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself and she'd....well...

???Maybe???

Hell, I know several dozen wimmins who would happily throw themselves at you...repeatedly and for extended periods of time.