NINE A.M. and the Jehovah's Witnesses

[u4ic]

were at the door. :grr:

Having said that, any time is too early.

I didn't answer it, as I was still half asleep, but by the time I got to the door, I could see them leaving. They were around on another Saturday when yet again I didn't get to the door in time, but saw them walk out.


If I want something, I'll go and find it. Don't come to my door trying sell your damned product or your religion, nor telephone me either.

I know the landlady here let them in, because she's one, too. I was asked by a friend who lives here if she's tried to convert me yet. She hasn't.

I was also told that during the last election, when candidates came to her door, she told them she didn't care about politics. THEN she would try to convert them. :rofl:

So that's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow, I'm going to get some brochures from my UU church, and when they come back - which they will, I have no doubt - I'm going to give them MY spiel.


:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear u4ic!

You go, girl! :bounce: :bounce:

I'm sure you can beat them at their own game!

:hug:

[u4ic]

16. Hi Peggy!

My friend said it was a hoot to watch the landlady in action - she lives in the apartment next door, and there were municipal, provincial and federal elections that year - and of course a candidate isn't just going to walk away. It was fun to watch them duck and dodge their way out of that situation...:rofl:


Thanks! I will definitely give it my best shot. Letting it be known gays and Pagans are welcomed would, I'm sure, contain it to a very quick visit. :D



:hug:

[The Traveler]

2. True story

My ex was of the pagan persuasion. Our divorce was probably the friendliest in the history of western civilization. She told me the story of one of her friends, who lived in a neighborhood which was being plagued by Jehovah Witness types. Now, this man owned (amongst other articles) a horned Viking helmet and a battle axe, and sported long hair and a beard which would have made ZZ Top proud.

He had been hunting and was dressing a deer in his back yard when he saw them through the bushes as they approached his front yard. Dressed in shorts and a leather apron and pretty much covered in deer blood, he ran into the house, grabbed the helmet and axe, and then ran around the house. With eyes wide, axe raised in a two hand hold, he bellowed "BLOOD! BLOOD FOR ODIN! BLOOD!"

The JW's turned and ran for their lives, and were never seen again.

Having witnessed this feat, nice old Baptist women began dropping off side dishes for his evening meals out of gratitude. And thus did a pagan win acceptance from his born again neighbors ...

[KitchenWitch]

3. That rawks!

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

23. Hi KW!

Top of the evenin' to ya!
:hi:

[KitchenWitch]

36. Hi

:hi:

[SeattleGirl]

4. ROFL!!!!

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

26. HI, SG.

Good to meet ya!

(I think I need another beer ...)

[SPKrazy]

8. Not As Funny But...

another true story

a few years ago I was remodeling my Kitchen, and my dad was helping me. We'd been doing drywall and taping and prepping it for paint. I had a dust mask on and I was covered with white powder. The JW's came to the door and I ripped the mask off before I opened the door. I said no thanks. I looked at myself in the mirror with my mask and the white powder all over my face and hair, and thought no wonder they didn't stick around and try to even give me a pamphlet, I looked like a meth cook or something!

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

9. Run from the bad drug man!

That is probably exactly what they thought.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

10. Might Very Well Have Been

I told my Dad and he thought it was funny.

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

14. And you weren't even trying!

I can only imagine the psychic damage you could have inflicted had you been prepared ... Here's to ya!


:toast:

[SPKrazy]

20. Really!

I could have had a wild look in my eyes, presented them with a recipe for meth or something!

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

28. Or threatened them

with a beaker filled with some steaming, frothing brew of unknown origin ...

:bounce:

[u4ic]

17. LOL

:spray:

[The Traveler]

21. Thought that might bring

a smile to your face. It sure did it for me when I first heard about it!

:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

30. My husband has a friend who is fearless

One day yhe friend greeted the J.W.s at his door buck nekkid and eating a chicken drumstick. He told them he was eating some "Jesus Meat" and that if they wanted any, he'd be happy to give them a taste ... Needless to say, they got the hell out of there. :rofl:

[The Traveler]

32. Dupe due to error

Been getting those every now and then and then the post I "lost" shows up later. Weird.

[The Traveler]

33. OMFG!

:spray:

Thanks to you, I have to wipe off my monitor and get a fresh beer! "Jesus meat" ... OMFG! :rofl:

[BreweryYardRat]

60. I've always wanted to do that.

And I'm a Christian.

Awesome story.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

63. Best. Story. Ever...

[deucemagnet]

5. Did you see the video that was posted here recently

of the Australian film maker who got so sick of Mormons evangelizing on Saturday mornings that he went to Utah and tried to spread atheism door-to-door. It turns out that Mormons don't like other people's beliefs forced on them on Saturday mornings, either. Go figure.

I wish I still had that link. It was pretty funny.

[SPKrazy]

12. Well That Would Be A No Brainer

having grown up in Utah as a non-Mormon, I can tell you that the Mormons don't like anyone elses beliefs or non-beliefs forced upon them.

Yet, they have no problem with their own evangelizing. They send their young out on "missions"

The ones from outside of Utah sometimes go to Utah where they can keep an eye on them and evangelize the non-Mormons

[GenDem]

68. Our next door neighbor's are Mormons.

Their son just left for his "mission" the day after Christmas. He will be gone two years, and then he will be attending BYU. This must be almost a mandatory requirement. They held lots of garage sales this past year to pay for this. I'm assuming that he will be dressing up in the white shirt, and tie and going door to door. They had no idea where his assignment would be until a few weeks before he left. He went to Phoenix, Az.

I get along fine with them -- we share vegetables from our gardens and borrow staples from each other all the time. They have never tried to convert me, but I think they know that they wouldn't get too far. They have, however, talked to my other neighbors.

I think the JW's and the Mormon religion are brain washing cults.

[SPKrazy]

69. Without Getting Too Bashing Here

you are right on

they are brainwashing cults

in Utah, it is much different where most of the people are Mormons. At least it was when I lived there. If you weren't a Mormon, then you were discriminated against in many ways.

[u4ic]

19. Yes, I do remember that

I'm pretty sure I bookmarked it. I'll have to check. :hi:

[SPKrazy]

6. Yeah

invite them in and sit them down and then ask them what they did for the solstice.

then give them some pamphlets. Talk real fast and never let them get a word in edgewise, then tell them that you've got to get to a special meeting of people who meditate in the nude and have to leave and show them the door.

Do you think they'll be back after that? (well I would but I'm not a Jehovah's witness, I'm a perv, and would want to hear more about your naked meditation meeting)

:rofl:

[u4ic]

27. I could give them a copy of

the Kama Sutra and say "this is my bible". There's some nakedness in there. :7

[SPKrazy]

31. Oh Yeah!

that would be the ticket oh wicked one!

:rofl:

the looks on their faces would be priceless

[Whoa_Nelly]

7. I have a sign posted in a frame at my front door

It states:
No Solicitors
No Biblethumpers

and has a big red NO symbol (circle/slash) with a cross that has a dollar sign on the stem of it.

Seems to work just fine :P

[enigmatic]

11. Whoa; where did you get that?

I want one; I had a front door mat that said "Go Away" for years. I wish I still had that..

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. I created it.

Let me take a pic of it and will post it in a few. I don't have the original of it on this machine. BRB

[enigmatic]

18. Thanks

I'd love to see it..

[Whoa_Nelly]

34. Nothing special, but here ya go!

Feel free to copy, use...whatever! :hi:
(Sorry, not best pic, but you can see it and it DOES work! ;) )

[enigmatic]

40. Oh man, that's perfect

:rofl:

[Whoa_Nelly]

43. Glad you like it!

Am sure there are those who don't! :rofl:

[u4ic]

49. Perfect!

[BikeWriter]

59. See if this works...

[u4ic]

24. That's a great idea

being in an apartment, I rarely those types of visits. In fact, I haven't had anyone at the door like that for years - they just can't get in.

Those two obviously have inside contacts. ;-)

[enigmatic]

13. How about I give you my copy of The Satanic Bible?

You can show it to them and say, "Thanks, I'm covered!":)

[u4ic]

25. Brilliant!

:thumbsup:


:rofl:

[hickman]

22. A few years ago this little old man and his wife

would ring my door bell about every other Sunday morning. Rain, sleet, heat, whatever, there he'd be at the door with his wife waiting in the car. I even invited him one time. The man was 5'nothing, probably around 70yrs old and had sleet hitting and dripping on him. He refused, just wanted to give me the literature. His accent was so thick that I couldn't understand why his local hall thought he convert me or anyone. JW's have a reputation for taking care of their own so I was always comforted by that when he stopped showing up.

[u4ic]

29. That's something to be said for them

Having a community that cares is great. Of course, you have to strictly adhere to their rules...:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

64. I have a mortgagor right now whose JW Temple is completely redoing their home...

For no cost. I think that is awesome. I haven't heard of anyone's BAPTIST church doing this.
Duckie

[Generic Brad]

35. Has anybody in history ever converted to a religion peddled door to door?

Hell, it's almost impossible to sell magazine subscriptions and newspapers that way. They can't have much of a success rate going about it that way, can they?

[u4ic]

38. Probably not

Invasion and slaughtering always worked, though... :-(

[mentalsolstice]

37. Our experience...

My great-grandmother's son invested in a duplex...and he put my grammy up in it. In the last years of her life, Jehovah's Witnesses rented out the apartment over her, and they were wonderful. She told them about her beliefs, and they were very respectful. They really watched out for her...and she told me herself, before she died, about how peaceful and un-intrusive they were.

I'm so sorry you've had this experience...just want to let you know it's not par for the course!

On edit - they will knock on our door once every 2-3 weeks, we'll take the tract they're offering, but tell them we're not otherwise interested...they go away quickly.

[u4ic]

41. Years ago,

I had a friend who was a Jehovah's Witness. She never tried to convert me, and was a wonderful lady.

I'm glad your grandmother was looked after. That's they way it should be - respectful. I think there is room for many beliefs, I just don't want anyone trying to convert me to theirs. And certainly not on a Saturday morning. :hi:

[mentalsolstice]

53. Oh jeezbus, not on a Sat. morning!

Oppie, my grammie, was not the church-going type! And they didn't bother her with that...

I guess she died along the "liberal" Presbyterian sort, although I never knew her to go to church, except for weddings and funerals. She once mistakenly showed up for the wrong funeral, a very FUNNY story! We were very close. I'm Catholic (nonpracticing now), however, she absolutely loved Catholics and anything else that had a charitable bent, and anyone that was religiously diverse from her beliefs. I spent several summers with her, and learned so much tolerance from her...I can't even delve in it here...She was one of the best!

But I will say the JWs visit our neighborhoods on weekends. They're very peaceful...open the door, they'll hand us a pamphlet, and that's it...they don't try to preach. So it's okay. But we're here in the deep south where it could be much, much worse!

[greendog]

39. There's just about nowhere you can move to get away from them either.

Four winters ago I lived in this little cabin in a remote part of Montana. No electricity. No running water. Only 4 or 5 neighbors within a mile.

The Jehovah's Witnesses had to drive 30 miles of snow and ice covered gravel road to get to us. In the spring they had to wade through mud to reach the front door.

I felt kind of sorry for them so I let them talk. They seemed pretty harmless.

Now I live in town. When the JW's show up I shake my head, say "not interested" and close the door.

[u4ic]

46. That's dedication!

[BlueStorm]

42. Next time they come around here, I'm going to tell them I worship DU

At least that might keep them away. Or would they still try to convert me? :shrugs:

Blue

[u4ic]

47. See the post below yours

:-)

[Redstone]

44. Answer the door-knock naked. That always throws them.

Redstone

[u4ic]

45. I almost did!

I woke up on the way there. :D

[Redstone]

48. And where was I? Not there, dammit.

Redstone

[u4ic]

50. There's a motive

for you to convert. :D

[Redstone]

51. Don't tempt me.

Redstone

[ashling]

52. My roomate from lawschool would

meet them at the door without his clothes on.

[u4ic]

56. That'd work!

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

54. great rant on this topic

really funny:
http://media.skoopy.com/misc/atheist_vs_mormons/

this one is directed at mormons specifically, but that kind of thing in general

this guy flies from Australia to Salt Lake City to bug them on Saturday morning and try to win some souls for Darwin

[u4ic]

55. Thanks!

We were discussing it upthread. Now I don't have to search through a billion bookmarks. :D :hi:

[idgiehkt]

57. lol

I posted it the first time.

Wow, now I can stop saying no one ever watches the videos I post here. I'm tickled.

[Courtesy Flush]

66. Very cool

[BikeWriter]

58. Good for you!

[NewWaveChick1981]

61. OMG... The times they've done that, we've either not answered the door, or

we've opened the door and our dogs were snapping and growling and screambarking at them through the storm door, and they'd leave. :rofl: I like Steve Harvey's solution---come to the door buck nekkid with a shotgun, and they'll leave you alone. :rofl:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

62. My dad used to grab a beer and walk outside to talk to them...

Then he'd offer them a beer. Dad was a great host. Always worried about people having enough to eat and drink. They'd say no and nearly run to the car. It was hilarious. My dad always had on a trucker hat (naturally, he was a trucker), and a pearl snap shirt with his boots and his leatherbelt with Bob cut out in the back with red plastic behind it. It always seemed to put off people like that. :shrug: LOL The Jehovah's Witnesses stopped coming around after that. It was great.
Duckie

[Guava Jelly]

65. Cover yourself in fake blood and answer the door out of breath and paniced

Then ask them if Murder is still a sin because you just took out a few Jehovahs witness's who came by earlier.
:7 :rofl:

[carly denise pt deux]

67. I answered the door....was having a pizza party

offered them pizza and beer (the scene was kinda like a frat party from Animal House)......they didn't seem to be hungry or thirsty and promptly left. I always thought I was the only person who avoided JW's, guess not LOL

I have noticed on occasion when I do not answer the door, that they sit outside the house in the car for like 20 minutes after they knocked for the final time. I don't know why they do this.