good Bush joke

[Hamlette]

(hard to put "good" and "bush" in the same sentence...)

DUBYA IN A BAD PLACE
> > While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is struck
>by a large wheel of cheese that had fallen out the cargo door of
>SwissAir, flight 119. Sadly, George does not make it. His soul arrives in
>heaven and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
>"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
>is a problem. We seldom see Republicans around these parts, so we're not
>sure what to do with you."
> "No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Dubya.
> > "I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself.
> > He says you have to spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then
>you must choose where you'll live for eternity." "But, I've already made up
>my mind; I want to be in heaven."
> "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him
>to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to hell.
>The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course;
>the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72
>degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. There is
>a Texas-style barbecue featuring cloned cattle and genetically engineered
>corn.
>Standing in the crowd are his dad and thousands of other Republicans who
>had helped him out over the years: Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney,
>Jerry Falwell. The whole of the "Right" is here, everyone
>laughing, happy, casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him,
>hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the
>expense of tree huggers and liberals. They play a friendly game of golf,
>then eat cheesecake made from genetically engineered milk. The devil
>himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink and says,
>"Have a BGH milkshake and relax, Dubya!" "Uh, I'm watching my weight," says
>George, sadly.
> "This is hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry,
>and it just gets better from here!" says Satan. Dubya takes the shake and
>finds himself liking the devil, who is a very friendly guy who tells funny
>jokes and pulls hilarious nasty
>pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns.
> > They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time
>to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator
>and heads upward.
>When the elevator door reopens, he is at the Pearly Gates again and St.
>Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," the old man
>says, opening the gate.
> >So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest,
>good-natured animal rights activists and anti-milk folk, people who enjoy
>each other's company, talking about things other than money, and
>treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat-boy joke among them;
>no fancy country clubs and, while the broccoli and tofu tastes great, it's
>not steak. It's organic soymilk shakes and veggie burgers. And these people
>are all poor; he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated
>like someone special!
> > Worst of all, to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind of hippie with
>his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive.
> "Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat Robertson never prepared
>me for this!"
>The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then, you've spent a day
>in hell and a day in heaven. Now choose where you want to live for
>eternity."
> > With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the background, Dubya
>reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I would never have thought I'd
>say this--I mean, heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think
>I belong in hell with my friends."
> > So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down,
>all the way to hell.
> > The doors of the elevator open, and he finds himself in the middle of
>barren, scorched earth covered with leaking 55-gallon drums of
>Roundup-Ready herbicides, garbage and toxic industrial waste...kind of
>like Gary, Indiana.
> > He is horrified to see all of his friends dressed in rags and chained
>together, picking up the industrial waste with teaspoons, and putting it in
>black bags.
> > They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with open
>sores, boils, and sooty grime. Then Lucifer comes over to Bush and puts an
>arm around his shoulder.
> I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya. "Yesterday I was here and
>there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate a Texas barbecue. The
>cloned animals were tasty. We had a great time. Now there's just a
>wasteland full of garbage and everybody seems miserable!"
> > The devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were
>campaigning. Today you voted for us."
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>_________________________

[Ysabel]

1. LOL...!

:evilgrin:

[Q3JR4]

2. I like!

:kick:

[Captain Absolut]

3. HAHA

ZING!!!