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New paradigm shift utility/line-command for linux/unix

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 01:45 PM
Original message
New paradigm shift utility/line-command for linux/unix
It's old (my copy is from 1995), but I just came across it again in my files, and thought it should be shared with DU, since it's very funny.

Enjoy!



PSHIFT(1) USER COMMANDS PSHIFT(1)

NAME
pshift - paradigm shift utility

SYNOPSIS
pshift <-zzeitgeist> <-rragelev> <-v> <-c> <-wn> <+|-n>

DESCRIPTION
The pshift operator performs a paradigm shift on its input stream
within the context of the current or specified zeitgeist.

OPTIONS
-z Specify the zeitgeist context. May be specified here or from
the environment variable $ZEITGEIST.

Supported values of zeitgeist are judeo_christian (default),
postcommunist, new_age, and when_god_was_a_woman.

-r Specify rage level. Acceptable values of ragelev are
ennui (default), deep_seated, and consuming.

-v Set to verbose mode. Normally pshift operates silently; in
verbose mode it publishes a 500+ page bestseller entitled
"Rethinking in the Age", and then
begins soliciting honoraria until the operator types ctrl-c.
On some systems it runs for Congress.

-c Set to collective IO. Normally pshift takes its input from
stdin and outputs to stdout; in collective mode it takes its
input from the Collective Unconscious and writes to the Body
Politic.

-wn Specify first, second, third or fourth wave. Acceptable
values for n are 0,1,2 or 3, with 2 (third wave) being the
default.

physical waves 0,1,2,3; see Sun Technical Manual for details.]

+|-n Specifies the number of times to prepend 'post' to the
zeitgeist context, if positive, or 'pre' if negative.
The default is 11.

EXAMPLES

source $DEITY | pshift -zpostcommunist -rdeep_seated -v +1

On most systems, the above command will output a hardcover volume
called "Rethinking God in the Post-Postcommunist Era", in which the
irrelevence of erstwhile religious concepts is seen to have
triggered a global, deep-seated rage vis-a-vis traditional
sociopolitical norms leading to a premature breakdown of emerging
postsoviet infrastructure.

pshift -znew_age -rennui

The above command produces no output, but privately processes a
vague discontent which it will share if its space is honored. May
be redirected to /dev/null.

pshift -c -w3 -1

Taking its input from the collective unconscious, the above command
rejects the failed socioeconomic policies of the last thirty years
and replaces them with a futurist, fourth wave polemic of
traditional values, the two-parent family, and the supremacy of the
private sector that was the foundation of the American utopia of
the 1950s. Use a prepend value of -2 to restore the American utopia
of the early Industrial Age, a value of -3 to restore the European
utopia of the Enlightenment, -4 for catholic hegemony, etc.
(note: Requires grass root permission. In verbose mode, it may
also require a $4 million advance.)

SEE ALSO
backlash(1)

BUGS
You must have root permission to use consuming rage.
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Bill McBlueState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. lmao
funny stuff... :D
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
2. Is this in Solaris 10?
No manual entry for pshift.
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ret5hd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 02:09 PM
Response to Original message
3. The DOS version just outputs "pfft...what are ya gonna do..."
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. ROTFL!
Glad I wasn't eating when I read that one.
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glitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-19-04 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
4. sweet!
thanks for sharing!
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