I'm starting to despise my cat

[Orrex]

At any given moment, if it's not puking on the carpet, it's pissing in our bed.



If I heard that Vlad Tepes was buying a house near here, I'd ask him, "do you want a cat?"

[blogslut]

1. Get these

http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=9409

They work like a charm. Eventually, kitty will avoid the bed completely.

[emilyg]

2. I got those for my front door - took

them a few days but they peed on them.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Your cats pee at the front door too?

Trying to figure out why they do that here.

[emilyg]

10. Good thing I love them.

[MorningGlow]

18. Revenge against outdoor kitties invading their territory

They're establishing territory boundaries because they don't know that the outdoor kitties can't get in. We had a male kitty (passed last summer) who constantly peed on the front door and the living room windows (we have an old house with windows that go almost to the floor) just because he could smell/glimpse an invader kitty outside. Luckily I had washable lace curtains--they were often yellow at the bottom.

I miss him. I don't miss the peeing. x( (But one of our females also pees all over the place--for no other reason than she's a neurotic little shit--we had her checked at the vet).

[blogslut]

4. Wow

Persistent lil fuckers, aren't they?

[grasswire]

5. does kitty need a checkup?

Maybe he/she oughta go see the vet just to make sure everything's okay.

[Orrex]

6. No, he's been like this for years.

He's clearly a defective animal.

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. For a while there...

.
...it was ME puking on the carpet and pissing in my bed.
.
Try reducing kitty's alcohol intake.
.
Worked for me.
.

[Orrex]

9. My plan is to put a 55 gallon drum in our bedroom containing a small platform in two inches of water

When kitty decides--and I do mean decides--to vomit on the carpet instead of the tile or to piss in our bed instead of the litter box, I'm going to throw him in the barrel overnight. Sure, he'll thrash around in the water for a while and make a terrible ruckus, but after a while he'll settle down on the platform and have a few hours to think things over.

[Demoiselle]

11. Thank goodness I've finally learned how to do smilies!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Very funny.

[tango-tee]

15. MiddleFingerMom,

I luv ya, you know that, dontcha? Just thought I'd kinda like to throw that sentiment out there....

The Volksfest by Merrell Barracks is in full swing. Cops everywhere. One of them was bitten in the leg by one of the visitors.

[MiddleFingerMom]

24. I once saw a grandmother...

.
...hell, she coulda been a GREAT-grandmother... in the big biertent do a striptease
on top of the table accompanied by the live oom-pah-pah band onstage. EVERYONE was
cheering her on... including GRANDPA.
.
The Germans know how to PARTY. THOUSANDS of people gathered together under a big
circus tent, drinking beer by the liter mug in MASSIVE quantities, dancing and
singing and laughing. It's WONDERFUL.
.
A sour note. The ONLY times I saw people actually fighting (not arguing -- fists
and more), it was between an American and a German, or it was between an American
and an American. I'm not sure I ever saw two Germans fighting.
.
Sad commentary.
.
On a lighter note, one night I remember (take THAT word with about a kilo of salt)
getting up on the table and cementing yet ANOTHER new friendship with a German by
chugging our liter mugs of beer.
.
I think he was my sixth new friend of the night.
.
I was pretty cool back then. And fucking invincible/invulnerable/immortal.
.
Not to unnecessarily mention really really really really REALLY hungover the next day.
.
And thank you, tango-tee. :toast: :pals:

[tango-tee]

25. I saw a very, very short German-on-German fight at the volksfest.

There was this tall, let's say very stately, lady and her husband who was at least five inches shorter and who weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet. Both of them in their fifties at that time, peacefully eating bratwurst.

Along comes this other guy, about three sheets to the wind, one of these real pain-in-the-ass drunks, and starts getting on the husband, finally shoving him. Wife politely asks someone to hold her bratwurst, turns around, hauls off and knocks that guy OUT. I mean, he was out COLD. The crowd cheered.

Sometimes it seems all of that was in another life. I've tried to stay away from crowds for quite a few years now - must be an age thing, I suppose. Oh, I remember the invincible/immortal days well! They were fun while they lasted....


:pals:

[bluesbassman]

8. I thought that was their job.

At least that's what they tell me when I bust 'em doing that stuff. :P

[BurtWorm]

12. You're clearly doing something wrong.

(Don't you love it when people blame the victim?)

:patriot:

[Lucy Goosey]

13. Vlad Tepes? The Impaler?

[Orrex]

17. No. Vlad Tepes the vinyl siding contractor.

Famed for his love of cats.

[tango-tee]

27. Snort!!!

Wiping my eyes...

[aquattro_660]

14. i'd kick him/her out

[Liberal_in_LA]

16. My cats hairball on the carpet alot

no peeing on bed, thank goodness

[MorningGlow]

19. You and me both

Our neurotic runt will pee and poop everywhere BUT the litter box. When she's in a good mood, she poops on the sheet of plastic I put down in the small "litter box room", as far away from the actual litter box as possible. Yeah, she's sending a message.

If you get Vlad's address, can you PM me? :hi:

[Orrex]

20. I'll be sure to send it as soon as I find it.

For a while, the cat was freestyling his #1 and #2 because, we realized, he was afraid to come downstairs while our two boys were playing and stomping around the house. To solve this, we put the litter box upstairs in the extra room that I use as sort of an office.

This has helped somewhat, but now the goddamned cat scatters these spectacular sand-art creations all around the small room. I don't know how he does it, because sometimes they entail an amount of litter that I'd think a large man would have to carry in both hands.


If I knew a human being who treated my house this way, I would certainly take that person to the vet and have him put down.

[applegrove]

21. I hope you have that enzyme spray for pet stains. It really helps to disolve

the stains.

[Orrex]

22. What if I just soak the cat in it?

Eliminate the middleman, so to speak.

[tango-tee]

28. When I lived in Sicily about 25 years ago,

I felt so fortunate when I found my apartment. The house was built into the side of Mount Etna, old ivy covered the balcony, marble floors throughout, beautiful old embossed wallpaper. And then I started taking in stray cats who just loved to sink their claws into that wallpaper. Alarm, alarm.

There was some stuff called Cat Away at that time. I was ecstatic when it became available at the Navy veterinarian's office, sprayed it liberally on the wallpaper throughout the apartment and hoped for the best. Well, it should have been called People Away because it stank to high heaven. And it ATTRACTED the cats who merrily continued shredding the wallpaper.

I wish there was a moral to the story, but as it is so often the case with cats... there is none. And I can't imagine living without them.

:shrug:

[mycatfred]

23. Cats are annoying like that.

Banjo, my oldest feline, has a tendency to miss her litter box quite a bit. I blame this one age-induced incontinence, but it can be annoying. One time, I went to go clean her litter box, and noticed that she had went one TOP of it. It still baffles me as to why she did that.
Frederick, who has five inch long fur, is always puking up hairballs, and I do believe he is bulimic as he throws up right after eating, as well. But Fred leaves a new present for me daily, which gets old. I ask my self whether it is worth the gorgeous fur he has? And yes, I do brush him twice daily.
But, then again. my felines have reasons for doing the things they do, annoying or not, it seems that yours is just defective. I'm sorry.

[tango-tee]

26. Sounds familiar!

I went on vacation, and it was the first time in Mosche's 16 years on this earth that he was left in the care of a cat-sitter.

Came back and all seemed well for the first 24 hours. And then it started. He crapped (sorry for the vulgarity) on the sofa, the armchair and on my pillow. Thank heavens the pillow-thing was a solitary incident, probably because he sleeps on that pillow alongside of me. But the sofa and armchair abuse continued for the next six months.

Now it seems he has finally forgiven me. You'd better believe I'm not going anywhere again any time soon.