Guys answer please!

[tinkerbell41]

Why do men flirt, ask for your number ask you out, and then suddenly act like it never happened??
I resisted the flirting for 2 mos. Didn't want any part of it. My wall was up, I finally let my guard down, and he destroys me. We really got along, talked quite a bit at work. I don't get it???

[HipChick]

1. When you find out..

let me know...

[Touchdown]

2. It's a secret.

We're not allowed to tell, so stop asking.

:evilgrin:

[Roon]

3. Do what I did...give up dating...

and live a life of celibacy. So less complicated.

[Enrique]

4. the booze wore off

:shrug:

[Robeson]

5. I have no idea. I'm a product of the 70's, and we tried to get some whenever we could...

...we flirted, and followed through. I fear I don't understand dating in 2010.

[sakabatou]

6. I dunno

I've never done that. So I don't understand it either.

[Chan790]

7. Uh...

well...um...sometimes we realize we're not as interested as we thought we were during the pursuit. Usually, at least for me, it's because something has changed.

A great example, I was super-interested in the younger sister of a friend. Said friend told me, "you're not really a match.", but I didn't care...after a few weeks, sister started to warm up to me and we started talking. Everything was great, then she says "You're a banker, right? (Yes, I'm also in a self-directed study program in NPO management. I don't care fuck-all about banking.) You must be really pissed about all these new regulations." I said "Not really, no." Further conversation led to discussion of the war in Iraq, I'm hawkish (I really am too...far more so than most GOPers even.) and she works for the USN...I think she thinks I am a conservative though. She's definitely a right-leaning centrist.

Later that evening, I thought: "What am I doing?" and decided that my friend was right, lust for the cute sister was not going to overcome the facts that we're a poor match.

I'm not sure that she comprehends why I went from 60 to dead-stop in less than a day.

[david13]

8. You see, some guys are like dogs chasing a car. They don't know

what to do with it when they catch it.
dc

[Dr Morbius]

9. The short answer is:

men see you one way if you are unattainable but differently if you come within reach. Forgive the unfortunate metaphor, but once the fruit appears to hang low it no longer lures.

That's not me, by the way. I've been married a long time, but way back when I was a single man, I was the king of missed signals. I'd only densely pick up on those signals when it was too late.

[seabeyond]

18. that is not many men. something that is liked to be said. i go with poster that something changed

:)

[RandomThoughts]

10. Some of the 'signals' some like to do are just people playing games.

I pretty much ignore that stuff. That could be some of it.

But the normal stuff of people enjoying flirting and stuff, it is fun to flirt sometimes, sort of a suspension of reality, but then you don't follow up, since reality has different dictates.

So that might be some of it.



I know I have been in that position where I might have fun conversations, and it is fun to flirt, but I also know I have no intentions, since there are things that need to be done first. So I think I understand that concept. Then many times people have really different views of what a person thinks, and what they really do think, and that is actually pretty funny sometimes.


Although flirting that gets someones thinking something, would not be nice.

[Hippo_Tron]

11. Sometimes it's because they're just interested in the chase, but guys are afraid of rejection too

[Heidi]

12. Did you ever go out with him?

If not, I don't understand getting emotionally attached enough to be destroyed by something like this. Disappointed, for sure. Pissed, yep. But destroyed? I'm sorry you're going through this, tinkerbell41. :(

[RadiationTherapy]

13. Yeah, the 'destroyed' part stood out to me too.

As in - unhealthy.

[tinkerbell41]

16. Okay not destroyed, pissed!

I basically shut myself off to men period, for a loooonnggg time. I wanted to raise my kid, then think about myself. So this is the first time in a decade I had a crush. I never got it, I still don't. I wish I would have kept the wall up. Didn't want those feelings again.
Sorry if I sounded "crazy". This year has been a re-birth of sorts.

[Sky Masterson]

14. I would change the word "men" to "some people"

Who knows what motivates "some people" to do the things that they do.
All I can say is that if you let one instance of heartbreak stop you
from opening it up again for another,The heart-breaker wins.
_uck that!

[Mr. Blonde]

22. I was going to say

women can do this too. Sometimes in heartbreaking fucked up fashion during finals week. Not that I'm bitter.

[Tobin S.]

15. I don't know why some guys do that, tinkerbell

But I sure wish they wouldn't. They make things harder for guys like me who want a real relationship.

[tinkerbell41]

17. No kidding.

I am pretty happy, comfortable in my own skin, cultivated my interests, independent. I was okay until someone decided to F*** with me. Just thought I'd have someone to hang with.

[seabeyond]

19. read your posts. there are plenty of men worth opening self up to

whatever was up with this dude, was with him. little, nothing to do with you. be thankful that you found out so soon and dont have to waste your time with him


dont take it personally

[petronius]

20. Because they're married, met someone else, realized they aren't as into you

as they thought, or are just plain-old game-playing jerks...

[gratuitous]

21. "At work"?

I will say only this: Everyone should have an office romance. Once. Just so you can learn why you should never have an office romance twice.

And to show you how dumb I am, I've had two. Never, never, never again.