|
Edited on Wed Jan-17-07 11:08 AM by whereismyparty
Jay Leno: "It was nothing but reruns on TV last night. But enough about President Bush's speech."
Jay Leno: "Actually, the good news last night, President Bush finally admitted he made some mistakes in Iraq. The bad news, he's planning on making the same mistakes again."
Jay Leno: "As you know, President Bush is now calling for sending 21,000 more troops to Iraq. How does he come up with that number? I don't think there's 21,000 people in the country that even think that's good idea."
Jay Leno: "Ted Kennedy attacked the president. He said Iraq is George Bush's Vietnam. Which is very unfair. There is a huge difference. Bush knew how to get out of Vietnam."
David Letterman: "And people who watched the speech said that President Bush looked uncomfortable, and I was thinking, looked uncomfortable? Of course, he's in a library surrounded by books! By books! Of course he's going to look uncomfortable."
David Letterman: "But here's the solution. It's the big surge. Bush is going to send more troops to Iraq. That's the solution. Going to send more troops to Iraq. And I was thinking, you think he'd be doing this if he was still in the National Guard?"
Jon Stewart: "Last night the president went to the White House's library, or 'libary' as he often refers to it, to show us the way forward. ... Mr. President, what is the new plan?...20,000 troops? We have 130,000 there now. That's only a 15% increase. That's not a surge, that's a gratuity. That's a tip, and that's not even a good tip."
Conan O'Brien: "Of course, after hearing the President's speech, Democrats in the Senate are seeking bipartisan support for a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush's deployment of his military escalation. In response, President Bush said, 'Huh?'"
And finally...
David Letterman's Top Ten Features of Bush's Iraq Plan:
10. Make the war best two-out-of-three 9. Blame it on that crazy New York gas leak 8. Convene blue-ribbon study group; ignore recommendations 7. Consult with Rumsfeld, who's now working as a casino greeter 6. Sit on ass until January 2009; let Hillary figure it out 5. Send Cheney to Baghdad with a shotgun 4. Tax cuts for the rich 3. Put Giants coach Tom Coughlin in charge of enemy, watch them collapse
2. Raise money for escalation by robbing Mick Jagger's apartment 1. Dig up Saddam and execute him again
|