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OFFICIAL THREAD: Predict W's SOTU non sequitur and WIN

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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:21 PM
Original message
OFFICIAL THREAD: Predict W's SOTU non sequitur and WIN
bragging rights!

We all remember Bush's propensity for introducing strange plans and ideas in important speeches such as Missions to Mars, slave trade, the importance of baseball doping, etc.

What will it be for the 2007 State of the Union Address?

Here's mine: Bush will announce the establishment of a blue ribbon committee to study the vital benefit of watermellon flavored bubble gum in the American diet.

It's either that or he'll announce plans to invade Poland.

What's your guess?
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Bolo Boffin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. Federal PSAs on YouTube n/t
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rainy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
2. Don't forget the wood thingie. I can't even remember it but he mentioned some
strange thing about wood one time.
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
3. There are no longer, in Poland
any sex slaves. That is due to our vigilance and hyperactive governmental cooperation.

(he didn't mention that they had all been shipped, for the moment, to Vladistockvia)
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
4. He'll introduce a national pool to pick the winner of Top Chef
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boomboom Donating Member (483 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. steroid addicted baseball players will be sent to protect our borders
yeah, right!
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HCE SuiGeneris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
6. Hasn't this been leaked already...
pez dispensers will now be allowed on future domestic airline flights...

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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That's great news!
Is it safe to assume that they'll still be banned from internation flights?
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HCE SuiGeneris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Condi is working on it... but Chimpy is causing some backlash
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I read something about him not wanting them back on flights to France
He's the decider so I can't take my Jerry Lewis as the Nutty Professor pez dispenser to Paris in the spring.

I'm tired of being hated for my freedoms!
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MikeNearMcChord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
8. To make Man Laws(from that beer commercial starring Burt Reynolds)
Federal policy. Like if you poke it, you own it.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Oh, man, you just sent Viagra sales into the dumpster!
:rofl:
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Man laws!!!
I'll be laughing my ass off all night over your comment. That is the funniest thing I have read all week.

:rofl:
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. Probability analysis by MIT super computers put this one in the 98%
probable ranking.

I'll keep an eye on the Vegas bookies for their updated odds. :rofl:
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
14. I think he'll declare lint a new renewable resource
Also, he'll call for increasing the efficiency of solar power plants using giant magnifying glasses.
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John Q. Citizen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
15. I like your challenge, and I bet we will see something from out of no where
Edited on Sat Jan-20-07 11:23 PM by John Q. Citizen
I'm going to think on this a bit before I make my prediction.

It's harder this year because of a number of external differences such as the change over in congress, the lame duckness of bush, the fleeing of his own party from their prez, and the disowning of Iraq by the American public.

Some ideas;

balanced budget, line item veto.
Some bullshit about global warming
renewed war on drugs, meth
Something about bipartisan cooperation
controls on the net; internet porn;
Care for the troops; A new GI Bill
A new Israel/Palestine initiative
Something about upgrading Port security/chemical plant security.


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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 11:29 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Very true. This is his first time facing a Dem congress.
But that could motivate him to propose something even more outlandish and ridiculous than before. Something really "people pleasin'".

Maybe making Sylvester Stallone's birthday a national holiday? It could be called Rocky Rambo Day!
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Sal Minella Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 11:48 PM
Response to Original message
17. I predict he'll announce a mandatory 60-hour workweek for all workers
for the same 40-hour paycheck, and call it the "Keep the Economy Healthy" campaign -- profits and the stock market will soar, and who cares that the workers will never get to see their kids.
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
18. Valerie Plame will become a roving ambassador in Iraq.

She will operate primarily outside the green zone.
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. I could see him doing that. LOL! n/t
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
20. They may plan for him to announce that invasion, but I'll bet that he forgets Poland.
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NuttyFluffers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 01:12 AM
Response to Original message
21. dunno, i routinely saw his 9/11 trumpeting as non sequiturs
so often they seem apropos of nothing, and yet they are there. so i guess if i was going for a winning hook shot i'd say his 9/11 non sequitur. but that's like shooting fish in a barrel, so let me try another one.

hmm, how's this: Iran is a threat because it hinders us in Iraq; and Iran wants to be a nuclear power; nuclear power is one of the many ways to get energy besides oil; we have nuclear power plants; therefore we should invest more in Coal Power Plants by lowering environmental emission standards.

it's like thinking laterally enough into a "world of pure imagination." (sung by Willy Wonka)
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lovuian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 01:17 AM
Response to Original message
22. He will bring up Iran and Syria and talk about War
saying economic sanctions are necessary
WMD coming in Iran
9/11 will be brought up

so basicly it will be a war message against AntiTerrorism

It will be a WWIII speech
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Rageneau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 02:49 AM
Response to Original message
23. He'll announce that the U.S. is going to Mars but he's staying here.
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Warren DeMontague Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 05:11 AM
Response to Reply #23
26. Self Delete.
Edited on Sun Jan-21-07 05:12 AM by impeachdubya
Dupe.
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Goat or Panic Donating Member (509 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 04:49 AM
Response to Original message
24. My guess...
Catch and release program for circus clowns.

And he'll get teary eyed about it.
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 08:50 AM
Response to Reply #24
32. Because al qaeda likes the clowns? n/t
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A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 05:08 AM
Response to Original message
25. They are all secret messages to aliens in outer space.
This year it will be about how all of the phone numbers in the whole world will be used up soon and we will have to start having one number for every two phones.
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Warren DeMontague Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 05:12 AM
Response to Original message
27. A massive effort to combat global warming through Jesus-addled Pharmacists refusing to fill
birth control prescriptions.
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Lasher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 05:35 AM
Response to Original message
28. SSDD
TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

The economy is booming because I say so and I'm The Decider! Pay no attention to those lying statistics. The Paris Hilton tax cuts are working! We need more tax cuts for rich people!

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

Americans are not fed up with my campaign of world conquest. They didn't vote out the Republican Congressional majority on account of my pet war. The voters want Democrats to work with me and do what I say. If Democrats are willing to obey my orders I will work with them. That's the new spirit of bipartisanship!

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

I favor a balanced budget, now that the Democrats will actually have some input on spending decisions. I've never vetoed a GOP spending bill but that was different. What Republicans want is essential. What Democrats want is wasteful. Gimmie the line item veto and I'll prohibit all wasteful spending. I don't have enough power.

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

It will not be until the final minutes of the president's address that members of Congress realize they have been watching a holograph image of a prerecorded speech.
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omega minimo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 06:18 AM
Response to Original message
29. A Twofer: Nuclear Winter to Stop Global Warming
oh-- and martial law... heh heh, heh, hehheheh....
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #29
30. That would probably be NOO-KEY-LER winter, I suppose. n/t
:rofl:
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 08:48 AM
Response to Original message
31. A 100 billion dollar plan to reach the Earth's core by 2011.
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #31
33. Sounds like a job for Halliburton! n/t
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
34. He'll name granola an endangered species.
:shrug:
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
35. Billion-dollar grant to Rummy's co. to make vaccines. Bird flu! Bird flu!
Edited on Sun Jan-21-07 09:58 AM by WinkyDink
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Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. That has real potential.
We better make it 100 Billion dollar grant, though. Afterall, it is Dubya we're talking about. :hi:
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-21-07 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
37. He's comprising an intelligence test that all future pResidential candidates
must pass.
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