OFFICIAL THREAD: Predict W's SOTU non sequitur and WIN

[Toucano]

bragging rights!

We all remember Bush's propensity for introducing strange plans and ideas in important speeches such as Missions to Mars, slave trade, the importance of baseball doping, etc.

What will it be for the 2007 State of the Union Address?

Here's mine: Bush will announce the establishment of a blue ribbon committee to study the vital benefit of watermellon flavored bubble gum in the American diet.

It's either that or he'll announce plans to invade Poland.

What's your guess?

[Bolo Boffin]

1. Federal PSAs on YouTube n/t

[rainy]

2. Don't forget the wood thingie. I can't even remember it but he mentioned some

strange thing about wood one time.

[MoseyWalker]

3. There are no longer, in Poland

any sex slaves. That is due to our vigilance and hyperactive governmental cooperation.

(he didn't mention that they had all been shipped, for the moment, to Vladistockvia)

[Richardo]

4. He'll introduce a national pool to pick the winner of Top Chef

[boomboom]

5. steroid addicted baseball players will be sent to protect our borders

yeah, right!

[HCE SuiGeneris]

6. Hasn't this been leaked already...

pez dispensers will now be allowed on future domestic airline flights...

[Toucano]

7. That's great news!

Is it safe to assume that they'll still be banned from internation flights?

[HCE SuiGeneris]

11. Condi is working on it... but Chimpy is causing some backlash

[Toucano]

13. I read something about him not wanting them back on flights to France

He's the decider so I can't take my Jerry Lewis as the Nutty Professor pez dispenser to Paris in the spring.

I'm tired of being hated for my freedoms!

[MikeNearMcChord]

8. To make Man Laws(from that beer commercial starring Burt Reynolds)

Federal policy. Like if you poke it, you own it.

[havocmom]

9. Oh, man, you just sent Viagra sales into the dumpster!

:rofl:

[Generic Brad]

10. Man laws!!!

I'll be laughing my ass off all night over your comment. That is the funniest thing I have read all week.

:rofl:

[Toucano]

12. Probability analysis by MIT super computers put this one in the 98%

probable ranking.

I'll keep an eye on the Vegas bookies for their updated odds. :rofl:

[EstimatedProphet]

14. I think he'll declare lint a new renewable resource

Also, he'll call for increasing the efficiency of solar power plants using giant magnifying glasses.

[John Q. Citizen]

15. I like your challenge, and I bet we will see something from out of no where

I'm going to think on this a bit before I make my prediction.

It's harder this year because of a number of external differences such as the change over in congress, the lame duckness of bush, the fleeing of his own party from their prez, and the disowning of Iraq by the American public.

Some ideas;

balanced budget, line item veto.
Some bullshit about global warming
renewed war on drugs, meth
Something about bipartisan cooperation
controls on the net; internet porn;
Care for the troops; A new GI Bill
A new Israel/Palestine initiative
Something about upgrading Port security/chemical plant security.

[Toucano]

16. Very true. This is his first time facing a Dem congress.

But that could motivate him to propose something even more outlandish and ridiculous than before. Something really "people pleasin'".

Maybe making Sylvester Stallone's birthday a national holiday? It could be called Rocky Rambo Day!

[Sal Minella]

17. I predict he'll announce a mandatory 60-hour workweek for all workers

for the same 40-hour paycheck, and call it the "Keep the Economy Healthy" campaign -- profits and the stock market will soar, and who cares that the workers will never get to see their kids.

[JohnnyLib2]

18. Valerie Plame will become a roving ambassador in Iraq.

She will operate primarily outside the green zone.

[Toucano]

19. I could see him doing that. LOL! n/t

[Bucky]

20. They may plan for him to announce that invasion, but I'll bet that he forgets Poland.

[NuttyFluffers]

21. dunno, i routinely saw his 9/11 trumpeting as non sequiturs

so often they seem apropos of nothing, and yet they are there. so i guess if i was going for a winning hook shot i'd say his 9/11 non sequitur. but that's like shooting fish in a barrel, so let me try another one.

hmm, how's this: Iran is a threat because it hinders us in Iraq; and Iran wants to be a nuclear power; nuclear power is one of the many ways to get energy besides oil; we have nuclear power plants; therefore we should invest more in Coal Power Plants by lowering environmental emission standards.

it's like thinking laterally enough into a "world of pure imagination." (sung by Willy Wonka)

[lovuian]

22. He will bring up Iran and Syria and talk about War

saying economic sanctions are necessary
WMD coming in Iran
9/11 will be brought up

so basicly it will be a war message against AntiTerrorism

It will be a WWIII speech

[Rageneau]

23. He'll announce that the U.S. is going to Mars but he's staying here.

[Warren DeMontague]

26. Self Delete.

Dupe.

[Goat or Panic]

24. My guess...

Catch and release program for circus clowns.

And he'll get teary eyed about it.

[Toucano]

32. Because al qaeda likes the clowns? n/t

[A-Schwarzenegger]

25. They are all secret messages to aliens in outer space.

This year it will be about how all of the phone numbers in the whole world will be used up soon and we will have to start having one number for every two phones.

[Warren DeMontague]

27. A massive effort to combat global warming through Jesus-addled Pharmacists refusing to fill

birth control prescriptions.

[Lasher]

28. SSDD

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

The economy is booming because I say so and I'm The Decider! Pay no attention to those lying statistics. The Paris Hilton tax cuts are working! We need more tax cuts for rich people!

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

Americans are not fed up with my campaign of world conquest. They didn't vote out the Republican Congressional majority on account of my pet war. The voters want Democrats to work with me and do what I say. If Democrats are willing to obey my orders I will work with them. That's the new spirit of bipartisanship!

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

I favor a balanced budget, now that the Democrats will actually have some input on spending decisions. I've never vetoed a GOP spending bill but that was different. What Republicans want is essential. What Democrats want is wasteful. Gimmie the line item veto and I'll prohibit all wasteful spending. I don't have enough power.

TERRA! 911! IRAQ! 911! IRAN!

It will not be until the final minutes of the president's address that members of Congress realize they have been watching a holograph image of a prerecorded speech.

[omega minimo]

29. A Twofer: Nuclear Winter to Stop Global Warming

oh-- and martial law... heh heh, heh, hehheheh....

[Toucano]

30. That would probably be NOO-KEY-LER winter, I suppose. n/t

:rofl:

[terrya]

31. A 100 billion dollar plan to reach the Earth's core by 2011.

[Toucano]

33. Sounds like a job for Halliburton! n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

34. He'll name granola an endangered species.

:shrug:

[WinkyDink]

35. Billion-dollar grant to Rummy's co. to make vaccines. Bird flu! Bird flu!

[Toucano]

36. That has real potential.

We better make it 100 Billion dollar grant, though. Afterall, it is Dubya we're talking about. :hi:

[peekaloo]

37. He's comprising an intelligence test that all future pResidential candidates

must pass.