This is seriously disturbing

[Lyric]

First, read this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22429822/

So apparently this young woman decided that she wanted out of her marriage, and left. Like many other people have done, she hit the road and she didn't look back. Now the police are wondering if they can charge her with a crime because her husband reported her "missing", and a big chunk of cash was spent searching for her around and in a local river.

What really bothers me here is that she didn't do anything wrong. She didn't file any false reports. She didn't pull a "runaway bride" and try to pretend she'd been abducted. Her only "crime" is that she left without telling her husband that she was going--and I've known a lot of women who did that (including myself) for assorted reasons, all of which were good ones. I sincerely hope that she isn't charged with a crime, because if she is, there could be a serious chilling effect on other women who want/need to get out of a bad relationship, but fear being charged with a crime if they leave without telling anyone where they're going. Hell, sometimes that's the whole POINT of leaving.

Some will likely say "Well she should have left a note"--but there are times when even leaving a note could be dangerous. For example, if my husband were an abusive jerk and I knew I needed a head-start of at least a couple of hours, I'd leave without a note--that way when he got home, he might think I had just gone to the store or something, and wouldn't be chasing me yet. Besides, even if I *did* leave a note, the person I'm leaving could easily toss the note in the trash and report me missing out of spite (knowing the police will help him find me, and I could potentially get into trouble for the money they spend searching for me). How would I ever be able to prove that I left the note in the first place?

The whole thing is just freaking me out. If they charge her with a crime, or make her financially responsible for this, they are blatantly handing some powerful ammunition to the abusers out there. I can see them now, gloating to their battered spouses, "Don't get any bright ideas about going anywhere. I'll do what that guy did, and make sure you suffer for it."

This seriously makes me sick to my stomach. :(

[SeattleGirl]

1. That IS disturbing, oktoberain.

Good freakin' grief! They should be charging her with ANYTHING.

If anyone gets charged, it should be the husband for getting them all riled up.

You can't tell me he didn't sense that she might rabbit, especially if he were any kind of abuser.

[emilyg]

3. $250.000 spent on search.

[HughMoran]

6. $250 - yeah, big deal huh!

:D

[yardwork]

117. $250,000. How'd they spend that much?

A quarter of a million? Something sounds strange here.

[LisaL]

120. They used divers to search under water, because it was presumed

she could have drowned.

[mopinko]

121. no shit.

how did they spend that kind of money? that's a couple of cops for a year, plus all the evidence tests their little hearts could desire. picked that number out of a hat, methinks.

[LisaL]

123. Get a freaking clue.

Here is a description of the search.
"CHICAGO (AP) — Police divers searched the Des Plaines River on Wednesday for a missing woman who had planned to place a damaged statue of a Hindu deity in the water when she disappeared two days earlier.

The statue of the deity Ganesh, revered as the god of good fortune and wisdom, was broken in the mail when it arrived in a package sent by relatives, said Anu Solanki's husband, Dignesh.

A religious leader told them it should be wrapped in a red cloth and placed in a lake or a river to prevent bad luck, Solanki said Wednesday morning during a cell phone interview as he watched the divers searching the river.

Authorities fear 24-year-old Anu Solanki may have slipped underwater while placing the statue in the current. Divers were searching the river Wednesday near where her car was found in a forest preserve in the Chicago suburb of Wheeling."

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hA_DEEClMpRwsFr29Un8v3z-yCtwD8TPA7OO0

[yardwork]

126. What is your problem?

[LisaL]

128. You've asked how police could have spend that much money.

Ask, and you shell receive.
I presume divers, helicopter search, canine search could add up.

"On Wednesday, divers from the Wheeling Fire Department and other agencies used sonar to search the river about a mile south of where the car was found near Des Plaines River Dam No. 1, while officers in a forest preserve police boat searched 6 miles south, Mayberry said. Cook County sheriff's police used a helicopter and a canine unit in a search of nearby woods, he said."

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/northwest/chi-solanki_27_bothdec27,1,7426643.story

[yardwork]

132. Your posts are obnoxious.

[LisaL]

134. What obnoxious are the posts asking how the police could

have spend that much money, when there were people, in the water, searching for this woman.

[Chovexani]

158. Hmm, looks like I have them on ignore for good reason.

[yardwork]

164. I made the same discovery!

[LanternWaste]

208. Maybe I haven't seen a large enough sampling of her posts

Maybe I haven't seen a large enough sampling of her posts, but in this thread she seemed only to respond with information that had previously been requested. Seems to me the posts are either benign of her (at worst) or helpful (at best). :shrug:

[Quantess]

233. Not here, not today.

What's obnoxious about posting a link to a news story?
To me, that's the least obnoxious kind of post.

[Usrename]

160. At a thousand a day you could have 20 divers there for two weeks.

A quarter million is a big chunk of change.

[Leopolds Ghost]

166. "this woman" -- no doubt disdained by local cops as a "superstitious pagan"

And the punishment will be to instate an altogether new form of Shari'a
in the rural USA, fining wives for leaving their husbands, especially
non-white, non-Christians. Rudyard Kiplingism.

(the notion that practices like burning widows alive should be enforced
under the Raj because "one law for us whites, one law for the wogs" as
the racists in charge saw it.)

[MsMagnificent]

182. Control freaks don't care

hey, their wife is their property!

They don't care what kind of money --esp. if it's not their own-- is spent,
and they'll lie like a rug to get what they want.
To manipulate others to help them to regain their property.

Believe me, I know this from first hand.
And to escape a control freak, you DON'T tell ANYBODY.
Mine, he called my doctor --and doctor's KNOW, or they should know anyhow-- and manipulated the nurse to divulge where I was.

They'll do anything for their property.


Now I'm not saying the husband was a control freak, that I do not know -- but if this was a non-suicidal adult woman (even if he claimed she was), had no psychological problems, was not of a lower IQ (is saying 'mentally retarded' in this instance P.C.?), was sane and able to cope day-to-day; if there was no evidence that she was kidnapped or attacked...
...why this kind of response?

For a child, I can understand, or any of the reasons above; but one has to question exactly why this was made into such an incredible deal...


Additionally, if this was a sane, normal MAN who took off/disappeared; how probable would it be that the response/search would be the same?
And if it was, how probable that they would come at him to pay for this unwanted search?

Edit:
And oh yes: my control freak wasn't 'typically' abusive, except psychologically, emotionally and verbally.
And if there aren't physical marks or scars, I can tell you that such abuse simply doesn't count.
Not one bit.

[Zhade]

188. Their fucking problem. She didn't ask them to spend it.

NT!

[Lyric]

5. See, I was thinking that too.

In the article she says that he isn't abusive, but...I've known a lot of women who lie about abuse, especially when they're being spotlighted like this. Family embarrassment is often the issue.

I'd like to think that the police will realize that she can't be held responsible for this, but I don't know...these days, it seems more about police officers looking for any excuse to charge you, rather than looking for a reasonable excuse to let it go. :/

[LiberalFighter]

41. Not up to the police

The prosecutor is the only one that charge her.

If they charge then the police can arrest.

[EFerrari]

114. It's not only embarrassment. It's dangerous. n/t

[LisaL]

115. It's ridiculous to read a post after post about abuse, when

nothing in the article suggests the woman was abused, she told the police she was not abused, and she left with a male friend.
Doesn't seem to stop many here from going on and on how dangerous it is, and how difficult it is for the abused women out there.

[EFerrari]

119. No one is forcing you to read these posts I hope.

And, it is possible to have a conversation about abuse on this thread because that is why most women who leave in this manner leave in the first place.

I told the police I wasn't abused either. I lied through my teeth.

:hi:

[cgrindley]

144. that's not even remotely helpful

This thread isn't about you. It's about some immature idiot who thought it would be a good idea to leave a car abandoned like the Marie Celeste and just run off without telling anyone. Even a preemptive call to the police with a "if he calls, I'm not missing" would have worked. It is 100% predictable that this would have happened if the young woman is anyone other than a complete and total moron.

[Leopolds Ghost]

169. What a creepy, authoritarian world you want to impose on us.

Get a fricking clue. The founders of this country disagree with your totalitarian, nanny state vision.

What you are talking about was considered totalitarian back in the 1930s
when people still had inalienable rights such as freedom of movement
without being questioned.

Your worldview is what allowed black New Orleanians to be deported and not
allowed back across state lines unless they could "justify" where they
were going and why.

[yardwork]

178. Thank you for telling it like it is!

[cgrindley]

193. Are you high?

WTF!

How, in god's name, is demanding that some assmunch NOT abandon a running car in a park and fake a disappearance or death or kidnapping the same as deporting black New Orleanians (which, by the way, did NOT happen)?

[treestar]

228. You're allowed to walk off without telling anyone in a free country

It is the job of the police to figure out whether the person is truly missing or not. In fact, they find most people reported missing aren't missing. These cops must not have an efficient procedure if they spent that much before figuring out she was not a missing person.

[yardwork]

125. It's ridiculous to suggest that a woman has to notify authorities when she leaves her husband.

[Leopolds Ghost]

168. "Lizzy", do you believe people should be fined for failing to report their movements to authorities?

Or only non-white, non-Christian immigrant women who don't know better
than to conform to your societal expectorations?

Put it another way, should I, a white Christian male be fined for setting
out on a camping trip without informing anybody?

This is the most fascist thing I've ever read (the OP). I don't think
even the Nazis went as far as to fine women for unexplained movements
(except to Jews in the ghetto, of course.)

This is "Handmaid's Tale" stuff.

[UndertheOcean]

21. I like your sig image ! can you pm me a larger version ?

or where did you find it ?

[RufusTFirefly]

31. Use "the Google" on "the Internets"

[Le Taz Hot]

67. I'm going to digress here:

LOVE your artwork. I can't tell (eyesight sucks) but it looks like needlepoint. Is it?

[UndertheOcean]

150. Thanks !

[lumberjack_jeff]

37. a) if the husband were abusive, wouldn't you think a no-contact order would be appropriate?

Certainly if she had filed a complaint, the cops would know that she didn't just go missing.

b) if my wife were to dissappear without warning, I'd call the cops too. I hope that those making decisions wouldn't take your advice and charge me "for getting them all riled up".

I'm not suggesting that she should be charged with anything, but I am saying that were it not for jumping to conclusions, (conclusions the people in question explicitly reject) many on DU would get no exercise at all.

[Triana]

49. ROs don't always work...

..they're pieces of paper. When a woman needs to escape an abusive situation she NEEDS TO GET OUT when he's unaware and telling him ANYTHING will do not good and may do her more harm.

[lumberjack_jeff]

57. Then, knowing this, it would be prudent for the cops to take a missing wife report

... with a grain of salt.

After all, telling husband, family, friends, co-workers, clergy, lawyer, police etc. of your intentions - or even after the fact, is discouraged.

But we digress. This was not an abusive relationship.

[davsand]

112. Orders of Protection (also called restraining orders) can give a false sense of security.

Most people think that a court order will somehow protect against further violence but that just is not the case. Pretty much all they do is give the courts one more charge to apply if (or when) the violence happens again. If you are ever in a situation where you feel the need for an OP you need to get away--period.

Literally, I saw a man die trying to protect a woman who had an Order of Protection in place against the killer. It was a domestic violence case and they had been in court right before (in fact, that OP paperwork had not even been served yet however the killer had been in court when it was entered by the judge) the killer attacked them in the parking lot of our apartment building.

My point, in short, is that violence does not respect the letter of the law and it never has. Flight is the ONLY true safety available in many of these cases. Any attempt to charge someone for running away should scare hell out of us all--including men.

In this particular case near Chicago, I think I remember seeing a news report that the prosecutors were not planning to charge the woman.



Laura

[Leopolds Ghost]

170. Authotitarian crybaby-ism. I hope you plead guilty

If your wife asks cops to charge you for "scaring the wits out of her"
by going off somewhere without warning.

[NYC]

2. This is serious.

...if she is {charged with a crime}, there could be a serious chilling effect on other women who want/need to get out of a bad relationship...

I have read repeatedly that the most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she leaves.

[Hoof Hearted]

22. That's almost true. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she is pregnant

It's the most dangerous time for any woman. You are more likely to be killed or abused while pregnant than any other time.

In regards to this story though, where the hell are we? Saudi Arabia?

[Recursion]

142. err... almost

It is true (or was in 2002, at least) that murder is the leading cause of death among pregnant women; it's something like 25% of all deaths. (NOW has an article about it.)

However, pregnant women are murdered at a much lower rate than non-pregnant women. For that matter, pregnant women have lower death rates in general than non-pregnant women.

[Triana]

50. It's true NYC - that one of the most dangerous times for a woman...

...is when she leaves her abuser.

IF THEY ALLOW HER TO BE PUNISHED FOR LEAVING I don't care WHAT the circumstances, it sends a message to all women that IF YOU LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND - no matter WHAT the circumstances, YOU will be punished for it. Primarily, financially.

This is NOT a good message to be sending to abused (or any) women in our society.

[msongs]

4. the flip side is that police should quit looking for women reported missing

a simple note can be sent to someone other than the husband and need not say where she is or where she is going. Most police do not even accept missing persons filings until a certain amount of time has passed.


Msongs

[Lyric]

11. That still assumes that there *is* someone else to send a note to.

Someone trustworthy, who will not betray the person leaving. Abused women are *very* isolated, even from their own families. There might not BE any friends, neighbors, or family members that she can contact when she goes. I suppose a woman could leave a note with the police at the station, but still--that's requiring an awful lot of a woman who's trying to run for it... :/

[napi21]

15. I don't think it would take much for a quick phone call to the cops

saying don't look for me, I'm leaving the idiot.

I can see both sides of this, including the wasted time spent looking for someone who just doesn't want to be found.

I doubt she will ever be charged with anything, but this case does damage any women who may be abducted. What if the police look at a lot of future cases and decide they don't deserve so much importance?

[sandnsea]

24. Oh get real

Do you think the cops are going to pay attention to every phone call from every woman leaving her husband and not telling him??? It's still a free country and people are free to come and go as they please. It is unbelievable that anybody would suggest a woman has to report to anybody. They wouldn't even think to require this of a man.

[orleans]

83. oh my god! can you just imagine that?

"They wouldn't even think to require this of a man."

[yardwork]

122. I agree. Men skip out all the time and nobody charges them with anything.

It's outrageous to suggest that a woman has to notify the authorities when she decides to leave her husband. What are we living under - the Taliban?

Add that this was probably an arranged marriage and it stinks even more. She would have no recourse - her family and his are equally unlikely to acknowledge any problems.

I hope that this young woman has a better chance of happiness now.

[JVS]

157. If a man were to create a scene that fakes his own death or abduction, he'd be charged

Read the story.

[yardwork]

176. I did. I've read various stories about the event. The reported "facts" differ.

I don't see any clear evidence that she "faked her own death or abduction." In any case, I don't think that is against the law, anyway.

[LiberalFighter]

42. How would the police know that it is the woman calling and

not someone calling for the husband/boy friend?

[orleans]

84. they wouldn't. n/t

[JVS]

51. There is always the police, or maybe the womens' shelters would be willing to take notes in future..

cases like this. Although one would hope that at least one person in her social network would exist to know about this and tell the cops when they start looking around.

[yardwork]

131. Women's shelters are under-funded and outnumbered.

Women's shelters are staffed by people working virtually as volunteers. There aren't nearly enough of them. They struggle to stay open.

Domestic abuse is a huge problem in this country. The resources are pitiful.

[2hip]

79. Here's the problem

Leaving a note with someone else - in an abusive domestic situation - is problematic:

1) can the person receiving the note be trusted to say NOTHING? (Abusers are quite clever and even a small, seemingly innocent slip can put the woman in peril.)

2) the person receiving the note now becomes the abuser's new target and can be subjected to (ahem) "unpleasantries" until the abuser gets what he wants - information! (Refer back to #1.)

An abused woman is most in danger when she attempts to leave the relationsip, hence the need for a totally stealth departure...no notice, no notes, no tracks.




              Edwards '08 tees!

[orleans]

85. welcome to du, 2hip. and you're right. it's a messed up situation

no matter what anyone does or doesn't do.

i don't have a solution.

[EFerrari]

101. A person I had a RO on was so manipulative, he got

the counseler at the women's center WHO SPECIALIZED in these relationships TO PUT ME ON THE PHONE during one of my sessions with her. It was amazing.

No way I'd ever leave a note in that situation. It can get you dead.

The police may just be trying to find a way to write off the expense.

[Triana]

113. ONE THING ABUSERS ARE - is manipulative. Especially if they're the ...

sociopathic/narcissistic/psychopathic variety. They can even fool trained psychologists. You should have SEEN the tactics my ex-abuser employed with our counselor. It was shameful. Luckily, she was onto him. She confronted him with his abuse and he then launched a tirade at HER and stomped out and ended the relationship right then and there. NO WAY was he gonna put with anyone confronting him with his abuse and expecting him to - CHANGE his abusive behavior.

The whole thing is - well, criminal. Not that he committed any crime (yet) but they are as wily, sneaky and slimy as a criminal with their abuse.

[treestar]

229. No, they often find the person isn't missing after all

There's no duty to leave a note. Or, it's better not to impose one. Most cops can handle this part of the job.

These cops did not investigate very well.

[fenriswolf]

7. a women should be able to flee if she wants to for her own security

if she is afraid of the guy one thing she could have done was phoned the police. Let them know that you are leaving and for reasons of personal safety you do not want your husband to know that you are fleeing.

a quarter million dollars is alot of money to a city.

[Lyric]

12. I don't know.

Some people are frightened of police officers (and for good reason). I know *I* wouldn't have the courage to call them and talk to them. :(

[China_cat]

19. And the first thing the cops do is alert the guy.

The deck is heavily stacked against a woman who wants out. Which is one answer to the question 'why didn't you just leave?'

This is just another bar on the cage.

[Triana]

53. The deck is VERY heavily stacked against a woman wanting out - here's a link explaining that...

http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/domesticabuse/a/womenreturn.htm?p=1

NOTE this part at the end:

"Notice that domestic violence is the sixth problem on her list. And as she sits in the car, watching the windows fog up, on alert for danger, listening to her children try to sleep, she is forced to face facts. If she returns to her abuser, five out of her six problems will be solved.

Abusers create these situations deliberately. They work to force their victims to stay with them by destroying all other options. And domestic violence will end only when society addresses all of the problems facing a battered woman.

Some of these problems do have answers and there are many domestic abuse survivors. We'll address these solutions in future articles, including developing personalized Safety Plans. But let's return to the question we posed: "Why does she go back?"

And now we have the answer: "Because everything is stacked against her."

Don't condemn the woman who goes back. Celebrate the woman who manages to escape."

[China_cat]

96. I know this first hand.

I was one of the lucky ones who escaped with her life. However, due to the police reporting to my (now dead) ex on my whereabouts, it allowed him to come and steal my son. In those days there were no custodial interference laws, the idea of actually prosecuting a man for beating his wife was a joke and there were no laws at all protecting the abused.

I didn't see my son again until 16 years ago.

[yardwork]

130. Oh, I'm so sorry! That is terrible. I'm so glad that you made it alive, though.

I hope that you and your son have a good relationship now. I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

[China_cat]

140. We do. Despite the declaration of his father that he'd make

sure I never got to know him. In fact, the man threatened that the only way I'd ever see my child again was in the pieces he'd send me. It was not an idle threat. If he hadn't died, I have no doubt that he'd have killed the child simply to punish me even further for getting away from him.

[yardwork]

177. How awful. I don't know what to say, except to thank you for posting your story.

A lot of people can't believe that such things happen. Sadly, they happen all the time.

[flyarm]

29. not all police protect the women!! eom

[lumberjack_jeff]

38. If the guy is harmless, it seems like courtesy to say "see ya".

If he's an abuser, it seems prudent to alert the cops and seek a no-contact order.

I'm not suggesting that trying to recoup the $250k from the woman is appropriate, if for no other reason than the money will come from the checking account of the guy whose wife deemed it appropriate to make him think she'd been the victim of foul play.

[fenriswolf]

40. agreed

[LiberalFighter]

43. How difficult is it to get a no-contact order?

Without the spouse knowing about it?

Once the husband or boy friend finds out the woman is put at greater risk.

[2hip]

89. Unless a crime has been committed, THE COPS DON'T CARE!

Sad,but true, in the world of domestic abuse. They'd advise a fleeing woman to
get a TRO as "protection" but that paper doesn't mean a damn thing to an abuser who's hell-bent on beating and/or killing "that bitch".

[Boojatta]

106. "Unless a crime has been committed, THE COPS DON'T CARE!"

What responsibilities do you think police should have in addition to fighting crime?

[bettyellen]

116. protecting people from those who have violently threatened them

they totally fail to do that.

[Boojatta]

127. Isn't uttering threats of violence a crime?

[bettyellen]

219. and yet restraining orders are often totally useless in practice....

because "taking a report" doesn't get you safe at night.
if it did, you'd have a point, sort of.

[Fierce]

8. I agree.

You're absolutely right.

[karlrschneider]

9. I wonder if it's possible she didn't expect anybody to actually -care- if she left??

I agree she did nothing wrong but it would have been good if she'd just left a note saying "Screw you, I'm out of here...don't look for me"
knowwhatimean?

[TomInTib]

10. If she had no prior knowledge of the search, she won't face charges.

But I really feel sorry for her.

[varkam]

13. Are prosecutors and cops *really* that bored?

Good grief. I can't see how mens rea would be present in this case.

[Demeter]

14. Or Merely Vindictive?

[varkam]

17. I don't know.

Either way, I just don't see how she is criminally liable. It's not as though she intended to commit a crime.

[Silent3]

47. Reminds me a bit of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force publicity stunt in Boston...

The police decided these light-up signs, which had been posted all over Boston, including on some major bridges, looked like scary terrorist thingies, and wanted to charge Turning Broadcasting for the $750,000 they spent by over-reacting, shutting down roads and sending out a bomb squad.

[China_cat]

16. This is just the other side of the insidious 'missing person' report.

Because (as I found out to my horror) if an abuser reports you as missing and the police discover your whereabouts, in most jurisdictions, they won't even ask you if you have a reason to be missing. They just report your location to your abuser.

[Two Americas]

18. important points made here

Thanks to all for making such important points about this.

Both the right of a person to flee - or just leave when they want to - and the public committment to expend resources on search and rescue efforts are important. Once in a while misunderstandings can occur, but no saving of money is worth taking any alternative approach.

We save all, or none. We grant freedom to all, or none. The price we pay for those two precious things is small. If your daughter was in an abusive relationship (and it is irrelevant and gossip to discuss whether this particular woman was or was not) you would want her to get out however she could. If your daughter was abducted or injured you would want the community to make all efforts to come to her aid. That is the kind of society we all want to live in.

[Boojatta]

107. Do truancy laws take that into account?

If your daughter was in an abusive relationship (and it is irrelevant and gossip to discuss whether this particular woman was or was not) you would want her to get out however she could.

What if you have a daughter who is legally required to attend school and who has a boyfriend who goes to the same school?

[freeplessinseattle]

147. not a tough call to most with kids

survival and safety usualy take priority. kind of heard to concentrate when you're afraid all the time anyway.

[rug]

20. They should bill Nancy Grace, Rita Crosby and Greta Vansustern.

[LiberalFighter]

44. There you go... at least 2 worthless hot air

If Rita is as bad as the other two then 3 worthless hot air.

[JVS]

54. Why?

[rug]

72. Because their media circus in these disappearances creates a set of expectations.

If it weren't for these media freaks generating ad revenues while these "searches" are carried out, the local authorities might have responded in a more prudent manner and not consumed $250,000 in alleged expenses conducting their search. This was a search on spec. So bill the parties that ordered it.

Happy New Year, tovarisch!

[LisaL]

76. But if some poor woman actually was missing, drowned, kidnapped, or

whatever, people would be asking why police haven't searched for her or her body.

[rug]

82. Exactly, and one of those people would be Nancy Grace.

Police have always responded to these cases. Do you think these searches are being conducted differently because of this type of coverage?

[LisaL]

86. This woman has disappeared under suspicious circumstances.

She was going to supposedly put a broken statue into the river.
She had called a friend and complained she was being followed by four men.
Her car was found with an engine still running.
Her relatives and husband apparently have been under the impression that the marriage was fine, and she wouldn't just leave.
If police didn't search for the woman in those circumstances, what would people say?

[sandnsea]

23. Did the husband report his abusiveness?

Maybe he should be charged because he wasn't completely forthcoming with the police. Maybe he knew good and well she left because he beat her up and intentionally misled the police. That's filing a false report. Charge him.

[lumberjack_jeff]

58. Where the hell do people come up with this stuff?

"She didn't want to have any of his possessions and wanted to completely break with him," Cunningham said. "She indicated that she was not a victim of abuse in their relationship. She just stated she regretted getting married and wanted out of the marriage."

Is December 29th "opposite day"? "make up shit day"?

I can only hope that it's the 364th and final day of the annual let's hate men festival. It'd be nice to think that there might be a one-day break occasionally.

[sandnsea]

61. Actually I was being sarcastic

Trying to make the point they would never charge a man for either running off OR lying about why a female had ran off. If he had lied to the police, we'd never hear another word about it. That was my point.

[lumberjack_jeff]

62. Ah thanks. "hypothetical day". n/t

[sandnsea]

63. Not to the hundreds of women being beaten n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

65. It IS hypothetical to the ones who, like Anu Solanki, were not. n/t

[sandnsea]

68. But we never know until afterwards

So you have to take every case as it comes. Nobody ever charged a man for false reports when he lies about anything related to spousal abuse, or anything else for that matter.

[lumberjack_jeff]

69. It IS afterwards. We are AT afterwards. She left and said that abuse wasn't the reason.

There is no "case".

Absent even an accusation, all that is left is hyperbolic fantasy.

[sandnsea]

77. But there will be a next time

So you can't create procedures based on this one time. Nobody ever thought about changing police procedures and charging men for false reports for lying about their behavior.

[lumberjack_jeff]

87. Sure they have. Witness charging mountain climbers and sailors for their rescue.

At least with the mountain climbers, no deception is involved.

Also, it seems that prior to abandoning her still-running car next to the river to meet with her (must-have-been-a-really-good) "non-romantic" male friend, she phoned another friend to express fear because her car was being followed by strangers.

I can see why the police went on an all-out search and why her family was terrified. It is apparent that she intended to mislead people as to the nature of her disappearance. Does calling a friend to set up the fraudulent basis for ones own disappearance count as a false report? I think it may.

If I lie to you saying that my house is on fire, and you call the fire department based on that assertion, I would not be surprised to have to answer to a judge.

Particularly if I don't fess up to my deception for several days.

[LisaL]

88. I doubt she will be charged with anything.

And that is the fact that is disturbing to me.

[lumberjack_jeff]

91. I'm unconvinced that she should be charged with anything.

Mostly because her poor husband has already suffered enough. Any fines given to her will come out of their joint assets.

[LisaL]

92. It's very upsetting to me that all these money were spend looking

for her. And most likely, she won't be charged with anything, and she won't be made to pay the money back.

[EFerrari]

102. What in the world should she be charged with?

[Leopolds Ghost]

191. Leaving home without a permit? Faking her own death?

What next will we make illegal? Affairs?

[lumberjack_jeff]

214. Umm... faking one's own death is illegal. It's called fraud. n/t

[sandnsea]

93. That's completely different

The people who complain about paying for rescues are fools too. The police dept did the exact right thing, nobody said they didn't. We have old people disappear around here quite frequently. Some of them are hurt, some of them have run off. I wouldn't want the response to change.

I can't imagine a valid reason to lie about a house being on fire, but I can imagine a valid reason to fake a disappearance, whether this particular woman was in danger or not. That's the difference.

[LisaL]

94. Money wasted on the search for this woman, that could have

been, I am sure, spend on actually fighting crime.
It's disturbing to me.

[sandnsea]

95. Pssht, consider it training and get over it n/t

[LisaL]

109. How very generous you are with other people's money.

[sandnsea]

137. They spend that kind of money on training anyway n/t

[valerief]

25. --> her husband reported her "missing",

If anyone is to be charged, it should be him. He triggered the investigation. Had he not contacted the police, they could have kept their taxpayer funds.

[tinrobot]

33. Bingo.

She left for a good reason and it's hard to imagine he didn't know that. Therefore, he filed a missing persons report on a false (or shaky) pretense.

[valerief]

34. It doesn't matter why he filed the missing persons report. The

cops are whining about spending money on her. The husband triggered the expenditure by filing the report. He's responsible.

[LisaL]

71. Are you freaking kidding?

This woman has called her friend and said she was being followed by men.
Then she left no note to anyone, she left a car.
And her husband is at fault for that?
O'key.
:eyes:

[valerief]

133. Either the cops should eat the expense or charge the person who created it.

The issue is the expense, after all, isn't it? She didn't call the cops. He did.

[JVS]

156. He didn't create a fake crime scene after calling her friend to say she was being followed by 4 men

She did.

[valerief]

165. I didn't see anything in the article about her saying she was being following. However,

I did read this:
"The first thing you'd think of is making a false report. But she didn't make a false report," he said. "It's not a crime to deceive your husband and family."

[lumberjack_jeff]

39. What good reason is that?

If you don't know then why do you conclude that he did?

If your spouse goes missing you call the cops. Period.

[valerief]

135. His poor judgment phoned the police. His poor judgment should eat

the expense, if the law demands it be repaid.

[LisaL]

139. Oh this is just unbelievable.

Have you read any of the articles as to how she came to be missing?
She went to the river supposedly to put a broken statue in the water.
She called her friend and said she was being followed by men.
Her car was found with an engine running.
So, the assumption was that she could have drowned while putting that statue in the water. Another possibility, I suppose, was that she could have been kidnapped, since she complained men were following her.
Instead, she left with a male friend, who her family and husband say they did not know about.
And you have the audacity to claim her husband had poor judgment to report her missing.

[dysfunctional press]

205. WRONG...SHE triggered the investigation by calling a friend to say that she was being "followed"...

and then abandoning her car in the forest preserve. (although- she had abandoned the car awhile before she even made that call- it came from western illinois, not the chicago suburbs.)

[Didereaux]

26. This is 'Murica, and womens answer to their husbands, cain't go traipsin' n/t

[valerief]

27. This is FundieIslamoCommunist China. Fer real. nt

[JanMichael]

28. Didn't she leave the car running with the door open by a river?

250,000 of taxpayer money?

C'mon. If she tried to make it look like an abduction/drowning, then she should pay for the "rescue."

Rescue divers don't exactly have cushy jobs--they put their lives in danger.

[NYC]

30. The article did not say she left the car running.

She left the car and the keys because it belonged to her husband. The article did not say the engine was running.

[JVS]

56. It says she left the car open with the keys in it.

This is certainly an abnormal way to leave a car, and a reasonable person would contact the police upon finding such a scene.

[Garbo 2004]

60. Other reports did include that the car was running. And she had called a friend

a friend to tell them she was on way to the river and she was being followed by some men. That's what set up the basis for the police investigation. http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/717022,solanki122807.article

Previous article: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-solanki_28_bothdec28,0,1486850.story?coll=chi-elections-utl

Looks like she staged a disappearance, with a suggestion of the possibility of foul play. She didn't just simply leave.

[lumberjack_jeff]

66. Jiminy Christmas! That's an important detail left out of MSM reporting. n/t

[EFerrari]

129. Why would someone do something like that?

That's really strange.

[siri2k]

32. Great post. n/t

[kas125]

35. She is not being charged with any crime and the local news just said

that she probably won't be charged for the search, either.

And for everyone wondering, yes, she has other family. Her brother has been on the news every day speaking for the parents and the rest of the family, and other relatives have been interviewed also. They've all been frantic, it hasn't only been the husband.

[LisaL]

75. Her "disappearance" have been on some cable shows.

Police have searched in the river because she was supposedly trying to put a figure into the river, so the idea was that she might have drown.
She's also called her friend and said that men were following her.

[mopinko]

36. i figured this was some hick town. it was CHICAGO!!

i think that you are exaggerating the intent to charge her. that is mentioned as a possibility, not stated as a fact. no way that is gonna happen.
but you are right. we damn well better be free to pick up and go. so far, i think we are.

[Tinksrival]

46. West Chicago suburbs to be exact

Here in the west burbs we are a bit sensitive on the missing wife syndrome. We have Lisa Stebic still missing and Stacy Peterson also. You can't just dump your car at a forest preserve and take off with a guy from California and not expect your family to freak. I'm glad she came forward. I don't think the other two will be so lucky. Every day I drive to work I pass the Peterson house and then on I55 I pass a bill board with Lisa's picture. It just creeps me out.

[mopinko]

118. if she had a cell phone, they knew.

i can look at my cell phone account online, and see calls within an hour or so. cops sure the hell could. i know what you are saying, tho.

[peacetalksforall]

45. Ask yourself if they would be considering a crime if the genders were reversed?

[lumberjack_jeff]

59. It's also reasonable to ask if they'd have spent $250k on the search...

... if the genders had been reversed.

[JVS]

70. I believe if I were to drive down to the river, abandon my car with the doors open and the keys in..

and disappear, that there would probably be some kind of search.

[LisaL]

110. Especially if you are a young woman who called her friend

to complain that four men were following you.
WTF is the police and the family of the woman are supposed to do in a situation like that?
If some woman was kidnapped after complaining of being followed, and police have done nothing, and her family didn't report her missing, people would be screaming bloody murder.

[EFerrari]

124. My mom still will call the police if I don't answer my phone or check in

for a few days -- and she's been a grandma for thirty years. lol

[Silent3]

48. I can't see there being any valid criminal charges or liability here...

...but if there wasn't an issue of an abusive relationship, and she left so many people in the dark wondering about her, that would be an incredibly self-centered, thoughtless way to act. There are plenty of things that people have all the "right" in the world to do, which are nevertheless shitty things to do.

[BlueIris]

52. Goddamn. Bad cops. That's all I'm posting, people.

Morons.

[lumberjack_jeff]

55. Disturbing??

I'll tell you what's disturbing;
1) without warning, the wife left work on Monday in the family car to meet her "male friend" for a trip to the coast. She left the car at a forest preserve on the shores of the Des Plaines river with the door open and the keys in the ignition.
2) her family was frantically participating in the search because although she disappeared Monday (Christmas Eve) they'd still received no word from her by Thursday.
3) She had her cell phone with her and was ignoring the calls (and presumably voicemails) from her family.
4) only after the male friend encouraged her to call home after learning of the scope of the search several days later, did she report to authorities what had happened.
5) she denies that she was the victim of abuse and just wanted a fresh start.

What does DU conventional wisdom conclude?
a) she's obviously an abuse victim. She's just covering for him.
b) he had to know that she left because he's a jackass. The poor woman.
c) He's the one who should get arrested for filing a false report. He reported her missing just to victimize her... somehow.

Unexplained is what would have happened had he not reported her missing and she turned up dead. At a minimum, her family would have lobbied the police to treat him as a suspect in her death.

The bottom line is that there is nothing a woman can do for which the man nearest the situation should not be blamed. See David Smith and Russell Yates.

[emilyg]

64. Thank you for a good post.

[Lyric]

74. Oh. Good. Grief.

To address your "points" in a tidy fashion:

1. If you're trying to get away without being detected or potentially followed, it makes sense to leave the car behind. Cars are too easily tracked, especially with the advent of programs like OnStar. Where she chooses to leave the car is a matter of debate, but I think most reasonable people can agree that nobody deserves a $250,000 fine for leaving their car in a parking lot. If she didn't want to meet her "friend" at her home, I guess the parking lot of a park seemed as good a place as any to leave the car.
2. She very well might not have wanted her family to know where she was either. Some of us have shitty families that we don't want contact with. The police are still trying to determine whether or not theirs was an "arranged" marriage. If it was, that is one very obvious reason for not wanting her family to know her whereabouts--they were likely in on the "arranging", and might not have been too happy with her if they'd known she was leaving.
3. Ignoring the calls of family members? See #3 above.
4. And your point is? This just reinforces the notion that this was not her fault. She had no idea until her friend told her that there was anything going on back home. There is NO law that says we have to report our freaking whereabouts to the authorities. What do you think this is, China?
5. Whatever her reasons, she obviously wanted OUT. It's not our place to question whether or not her reasons for wanting out were "valid" enough. Abused or not, if I decide I want to leave and I don't want to tell anyone in my family that I'm going, I am allowed to do that. I don't have to tell them where I am. I don't have to report my movements to the police. So long as I don't start fabricating evidence of an abduction/murder/etc., I am breaking NO law by doing so.

As for your ABCs:

a. It is a solid FACT that abused women often lie to authorities about the abuse. That's not something any of us are pulling out of our asses just to piss in your Cheerios, mkay? My biggest point was that OTHER women--who are unquestionably being abused--could be harmed if this plays out in the wrong way. Other women who NEED to leave might be kept from doing so by the fear that their SO's could just call the police and have them tracked down, and then accused of a crime. Abuse is not the key issue here.
b. I have no idea what you're talking about
c. So far as I understand it, neither of them did anything "wrong". His report was false, yes, but not intentionally so. As for the "filing to victimize her" thing, that's more of a worrisome repercussion for other women than an issue here. I'm not claiming that this happened--I'm saying that if she's actually charged with a crime, it COULD happen to someone else. Abusers will use every teensy bit of psychological ammunition that they can.

I was in a similar position once, when I was living in Virginia. I waited until the jerk left to go drinking on the 4th of July with his buddies, then called my friends from New York (who were waiting in the parking lot of a local convenience store) and told them to come and get me. We didn't take anything more than some of my clothes, and we split for the state line as fast as we freaking could. I was counting on him coming home wasted and assuming I was either at work or at my Mom's, which (thankfully) is exactly what he did. I didn't call anyone from my family for 4 days because I didn't want him to be able to find me, and I didn't want him harassing (or potentially harming) my family members in order to get information on my whereabouts. If they were just as puzzled as he was about where I'd gone, then he had no reason to bother them. If someone had charged me with a crime after the hell of working up the nerve to actually leave that bastard, I'd probably have had a total emotional breakdown.

[LisaL]

78. Well, here is an article written when it was presumed she

was actually missing. You tell us as to what her family and police should have been thinking giving the circumstances of her "disappearance."

"I'm not going to give up hope," Solanki said, adding that a phone call his wife made Monday from her cell phone suggests she may be alive.

He said his wife called a friend Monday afternoon and said four men were following her, then called back saying they weren't following her anymore.

He said she told him she had planned to place the statue in the river after she got off work on Monday.

"She said, 'I know where to go.' That's the spot my friend found her car," Solanki said."


http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hA_DEEClMpRwsFr29Un8v3z-yCtwD8TPA7OO0

[lumberjack_jeff]

90. If you agree that he did nothing wrong

then you, like me, are in the minority viewpoint on this thread.

Where (and how) she left the car isn't a matter of debate, it was intended to indicate that her disappearance was foul play.

Several posters have expressed the opinion that he should be charged with a crime for reporting her missing. The basis being that he should have known that he was an abusive jerk whom his wife was fleeing. The fact that this basis is rooted on nothing more than a stereotype and a fantasy doesn't slow 'em down very much.

Let's talk about "worrisome repercussions". If you thought with any justification that you might be charged with a crime for "falsely reporting" that your spouse was missing, would you hesitate before dialing 911?

What if; Yes, the last anyone heard from him he was frightened at being followed and yes, he told no one where he was going, and no, he didn't take any of his things, and yes, they found his car. Next to the river. With the door open. With the keys in the ignition. With the engine running.

I'm sure there's an innocent explanation. He might just be in San Fransisco with Suzy, because I'm a wife and everyone knows that wives are abusive.

:sarcasm:

[EFerrari]

108. And, it could be added that the nearest male is many more times

more likely than anyone else to harm a woman. That's unfortunate but it's also true.

[Katherine Brengle]

224. Excellent post.

[Katherine Brengle]

223. Regardless of the details of THIS case, this would still be very bad legal precedent

for actual abuse victims.

I think that is the point.

[LisaL]

73. Oh right.

I've seen some cable shows when it was presumed she was actually missing.
Before she's gone missing, she went supposedly to put a figure in the river, because it was broken. She's called a friend and said she was followed by some men.
Then she left her car. The reporter have said her husband was beside himself when it was presumed she was missing. What did she think was going to happen when she disappeared like that? Did she think no one was going to look for her? Her husband, her family wouldn't care she disappeared?
But yet some posters here declared her a victim, some are making claims that her husband somehow knew she wasn't really missing, and some are upset there is a possibility she could be charged with a something. But what else is new?

[LisaL]

80. Another article written when she was presumed missing.

"The last three nights haven't brought much sleep for Dignesh Solanki, as he awaits word on his missing wife.

On Wednesday, the Des Plaines man gazed through bloodshot eyes at the scene inside his home, where friends and family have gathered to support him.

His wife, 24-year-old Anu Solanki, was last seen leaving her job at the Westin North Shore Hotel around 1:30 p.m. Monday. She was on her way to perform a religious errand -- to dispose of a broken statue of the Hindu god Ganesh in the Des Plaines River.

Her Honda Civic, its engine still running, was found abandoned around 4:30 p.m. Monday near the forest preserve at Milwaukee Avenue and Hintz Road. A purse and a laptop computer were missing from the car, police said, but a second purse that contained money was still inside."


http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=102441

Very touching, ain't it?

[MagickMuffin]

81. Changed my mind about what I posted earlier

Edit: posted before reading the whole article.

So, I deleted my original post that was here. I believe if anyone needs to leave a relationship for whatever reason, they should be able to do just that.

Of course if you have a cell phone the Authorities can still track your movements. I think one solution would be to contact someone after you have settled in to your new surroundings until you feel it is safe. Your contact person could then notify the PD that you are safe.

[Boojatta]

105. Leave without prior notice and also without giving notification after leaving?

Also, do you mean anyone who satisfies at least one of the following criteria?

1. Is 18 years of age or older.
2. Has a high school diploma or high school equivalency certificate.
3. Is legally emancipated (i.e. not under parental authority).
4. Is legally married.

Or do you really mean anyone? For example, what about a 14-year-old student in grade 9 who wants to end his or her relationship with his or her parents?

I believe if anyone needs to leave a relationship for whatever reason, they should be able to do just that.

[rAVES]

97. No chance shes just running off on him for another man?

Which is all well and good, but the instant vilification of the man in this is disgusting.

[LisaL]

103. Nah.

Of course she left with a young man, but he was just a friend.

[lumberjack_jeff]

217. The instant villification for the crime of calling the police.

It seems an eminently reasonable reaction to me.

She didn't "leave", she disappeared.

[Toots]

98. IAs far as I can gather no CRIME was committed, the city may have a CIVIL suit though

There has to be a statute written for a crime to exist. She was thoughtless maybe and yes caused the city to spend money but I would like to see the statute that says a person can not leave home for a while without notifying authorities..If that statute does not exist then neither does a crime..

[Xenotime]

99. Husband should be called into question. What did he do?

[fishnfla]

100. He had the audacity to become worried when his wife went missing

her family should be called into question too, they got all unnecessarily worried when she disappeared without a trace.

The husband and the family should be investigated, arrested, fined, jailed, drawn and quartered, and flayed on DU.

[Boojatta]

104. Regarding notes

Some will likely say "Well she should have left a note"--but there are times when even leaving a note could be dangerous. For example, if my husband were an abusive jerk and I knew I needed a head-start of at least a couple of hours, I'd leave without a note--that way when he got home, he might think I had just gone to the store or something, and wouldn't be chasing me yet. Besides, even if I *did* leave a note, the person I'm leaving could easily toss the note in the trash and report me missing out of spite (knowing the police will help him find me, and I could potentially get into trouble for the money they spend searching for me). How would I ever be able to prove that I left the note in the first place?

What about sending a registered letter? It would probably take more than two hours for it to be delivered and you would have proof that you sent it. A registered letter could contain any note that you wanted to leave.

[Flabbergasted]

111. Sounds fine to me. If there is in no danger then leave a fucking note.

Men and woman included. If there is danger, let the police know on your way out of town.

[Greyhound]

136. It is disturbing, this is what we pay taxes for. She, or anyone, is free to

go off anywhere she chooses at any time, for any or no reason.

Was it inconsiderate? Probably.

Was it stupid? Possibly.

Was there any crime committed? No.

What I find disturbing is that they are even considering demanding restitution for the resulting investigation and so few people even question this line of thinking. Again, this is what we pay taxes for.

[AZ Criminal JD]

141. There was a crime here and she should be arrested

She left her car at a forest preserve, with the engine running and doors open, to make it look like some sort of abduction. Then she left and didn't report back knowing a manhunt was going on. Are posters her suggesting police shouldn't have looked for her? Then they would be crying the police weren't doing their job and left a woman missing. She should be arrested, fined, and sued.

[cgrindley]

146. Exactly

Her gender should not be used to this sort of asinine behavior.

[Greyhound]

149. Leaving the engine running in a preserve might be a minor infraction, so I guess that counts,

but I'm reasonably certain the penalty for that is a petty fine, <$100. Other than that, you're attempting to assign motivations that you have no way of knowing, let alone proving, and even if you could they are still not crimes. Free people have the right to be assholes as we have all proven at times in our lives. She is under no obligation "to report back" if she was aware that they were looking for her. That notion is so anti-American that I have to wonder what kind of a country you want to live in.

My point is not that the police should not have investigated, they should have and they did. It is that the investigation is what we are already paying them for. The fact that you apparently can't see where forcing people to pay for their own prosecution will lead is yet another truly disturbing element.

[AZ Criminal JD]

152. Do you seriously think the police have unlimited resources

Just because we "pay taxes." How long were they supposed to look for her? Would they be allowed to stop when they had completely exhausted their budget for the year? Since you think this is acceptable behavior in a civil society what if 10 women decided to run off with their 23 year-old boyfriends and not tell anyone? Should the police look for all of them because we are "paying taxes."

[Greyhound]

162. Completely specious argument. "Unlimited resources", as you attempt to spin it, are not required.

If the police budget is stretched too far, then it is up to the city council to set priorities. The majority of the budget for any police force in the country is being expended in fighting a hopeless, and utterly useless, "war on drugs". That and protecting the interests of local businesses that should be looking out for their own business.

The idea that a search for a citizen that is lost or hurt is the cause of the PDs fiscal woes is asinine.

[LisaL]

163. This woman wasn't hurt.

She run off with a male friend.
As to why she had to call her friend, tell the friend she was being followed by men, leave her car with an engine running, I have no idea.

[gollygee]

167. Why is the fact that the friend she went with male relevant? n/t

[LisaL]

175. Did I say it was relevant? Apparently nothing as to how

she came to be "missing" is relevant. We should just all be seriously disturbed there is an extremely slim chance she possibly might be charged with something.
In my view, the chance of her being charged is pretty much zero, but I guess I should still be seriously disturbed over it just the same.
:eyes:

[Greyhound]

173. I was merely pointing out that the circumstances were not known at the time,

and if she were, it is the job of the police to find out what, if anything, happened.

The other poster seems to feel that government has to right to force people to pay for their own prosecution, a very scary mind-set that has become all to common in this nation.

[AZ Criminal JD]

221. Actually you are wrong

Most police departments budgets on drugs come from monies gained from seizures related to drug busts. I am not in favor of that but that is besides the point of this thread. Since you seem to feel local businesses should be allowed to fend for themselves then that create a private police force much larger than any police force we have now. One that since it was private would not have to follow the Bill of Rights in the Constitution. Interesting. Does DK support that?

[Leopolds Ghost]

192. "what if 10 women decided to run off with their 23 year-old boyfriends and not tell anyone?"

"This is not acceptible behavior in a civil society"... nuff said.

Oh, BTW... I don't want the police to have unlimited resources, nor
do I care if they spend a portion of their historically enormous
drug bust and traffic ticket slush fund (incomparable to historical
norms for monies spent on internal police forces) on search and rescue
efforts.

[AZ Criminal JD]

226. You don't care. That says it all.

I'm sure Ron Paul will enjoy your vote.

[LisaL]

155. And she also called her friend and said she was followed.

"Police said that she made a phone call to a friend while on her way to the river to say that a car with four men inside had been following her.

It was later determined that while she made that call, she was actually nearly 60 miles away from where she said she was."


http://www.dailyprogress.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=CDP%2FMGArticle%2FCDP_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1173354027993&path=!news

I've yet to see an explanation for that one. She supposedly left her car because she wanted her husband to find it. She didn't want anyone to think she drowned. She didn't think people would search for her.
Why'd she called her friend and said men followed her?

[Katherine Brengle]

225. It's not illegal to leave your keys in your car. The worst she could be prosecuted for would

be abandoning a motor vehicle.

She didn't arrange an abduction report, she just took off.

[AZ Criminal JD]

227. You are not giving the facts. This must be intentional because

the facts are known. She didn't just "leave the keys in the car." She left the motor running and abandoned the car with the doors opened up (illegal). She then phoned a friend and said she had been followed by four guys thus setting up a false abduction scenario (illegal).

[treestar]

231. She wasn't trying to make it look like an abduction

She just left the car because it belonged to her husband and she wanted a clean break with him.

That's not a crime.

[AZ Criminal JD]

234. You are making things up

She phoned a friend saying she was being followed "by four men." She then left her car in a forest preserve, engine running, with the doors swung open. She wanted it to look like an abduction. She was smart enough to not call the police so she wouldn't be charged with filing a false police report. She left that for others who would draw the obvious conclusions. She wasn't smart enough though and she should have checked with her lawyer first. I think he would have told her about the conspiracy law.

[gollygee]

145. I agree

They should be glad they found her alive. If all that money had been spent AND she was dead, everyone would apparently be happy.

We don't know her reasons for what she did but it sounds desperate to me. Regardless, there's no crime against parking your car by the river with the keys in it and running. It's regrettable that so much money was spent but she didn't ask for that or necessarily realize that it would be.

[AZ Criminal JD]

151. Maybe you don't live in the U.S. but it is a crime in all 50 states

To leave your car running and unattended. If you don't believe me please check with your local prosecutor or defense attorney.

[gollygee]

153. Well the punishment isn't $250k then.

If she should be charged with a misdemeanor, or if she should get a traffic ticket, that's reasonable.

[Leopolds Ghost]

171. It's also a crime in some states to walk around without a car, or without money in your pocket.

Super-Authoritarian laws on the books designed to promote the notion that authorities must know of your whereabouts at all times.

[AZ Criminal JD]

220. I am unaware of any such laws

But I don't practice in all 50 states so I may be uninformed. Could you tell me what states have such laws? Are you implying because there are authoritarian laws on the books that a law about leaving a car running unattended is not valid? What if a child came along and jumped in? Took it for a ride and killed themselves or someone? Is that OK because the law was "authoritarian"?

[debbierlus]

138. She wasn't a victim of abuse, she states it in the article. She just wanted out.

'She didn't want to have any of his possessions and wanted to completely break with him," Cunningham said. "She indicated that she was not a victim of abuse in their relationship. She just stated she regretted getting married and wanted out of the marriage."

From the linked article in the original post.....

Very different then being a domestic abuse victim on the run. If she was in no danger, she could have at least let him know instead of going to a nature preserve & leaving the car abandoned. She SET UP the situation to make it look like her life could have been endangered. Read the article...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22429822

[cgrindley]

143. She was stupid and immature

pretty idiotic way to leave a marriage if you ask me.

[Elspeth]

159. But she shouldn't be charged with a crime for that.

...

[cgrindley]

194. Of course she should (nt)

[Highway61]

148. WTF

Are they going to charge Stacey Peterson's smug husband for looking for her????? Give me a break.

[JerseygirlCT]

154. I agree with you

What an effect this would have on abused women trying desperately to get away?

Charging her is absurd. If they spent that money, it's part of what police departments do.

[Elspeth]

161. I wonder if it was an arranged marriage and she didn't see any other way out than

to disappear. There's a lot of cultural information that is missing here.

[Leopolds Ghost]

172. Reading replies of centrist nanny-staters to this issue is like out-takes from the movie BRAZIL.

The status quo has dissolved into an authoritarian nightmare without anyone realizing it. They weren't born when Americans had true freedom of movement and true civil rights under civil law. They appeal to the crowd, appeal to notions of morality to defend immoral government overreach on the ground of authoritarian notions of decency and social expectations. They want to throw Thelma and Louise (or simply the irresponsible college student next door) in jail and sue them for victimizing their families or victimizing the police force by failing to report their whereabouts to the Authorities.

This is NOT about the rights of abused women. Get a clue people.
This is about the right to be secure in our own freedom of movement.

This is not Afghanistan under the Taliban, this is not New Orleans
under martial law. This is about the society you claim to be
comfortable living with.

[JanMichael]

174. oh get a grip. The woman faked a possible crime/accident scene

concerned relatives called the cops...and you call that a nanny state?

Baloney.

[EFerrari]

179. Objectively, she left her car running. That's a ticket. n/t

[JanMichael]

180. She's a dingbat who faked a crime/accident scene

a bit more than "leaving the car running."

By the way, who is in such a big assed hurry that they can't manage to turn a key in the ignition? Please. Spare me. This woman sounds like a twit.

I don't know anything about this type of law, and I don't really care if she gets charged with anything or not; but, damn---what a freaking idiot.

[EFerrari]

181. So many questions, so little fact, so much judgment.

Sometimes I think we deserve George Bush.

[Dr. Strange]

206. Ouch, that hurts.

You make a good point...but still, ouch!

[AZ Criminal JD]

222. The facts are all there

But you may not want to look at them.

[Leopolds Ghost]

190. "concerned relatives called cops" and you think she should be charged for leaving home w/o a permit.

Buttle, H.T. Failure to observe normative behavior. Detain.

Tuttle, H.T. Plumbing without a permit.

[lumberjack_jeff]

215. It isn't about reporting one's whereabouts, it's about leading them to believe you're dead. n/t

No one cares that she left for California. They care that she let them think she was dead.

[RB TexLa]

183. ridiculous, if I want to leave here tomorrow I don't have to tell anyone

my wife or the police. Not my fault or problem if they make up something that hasn't happened.

[LisaL]

185. Hopefully, if you go missing, police won't waste time and money

looking for you.

[RB TexLa]

187. I don't expect anyone to look for me. Even if there is evidence of a crime, if I'm dead what good

does it do me????

[LisaL]

197. And you don't care if your wife, relatives, friends, worry where

you are?

[RB TexLa]

201. And you think it's the police's job to care about their worrying?

If I leave without telling people I probably don't want them to know. You do know there isn't any law requiring adults to tell others where or when they are going somewhere.

[lumberjack_jeff]

216. And if I want an afternoon's entertainment...

... I should be perfectly free to place a half eaten sandwich in a rowboat and push it out into the middle of the lake. My girlfriend and I can then laugh from the behind the shoreline bushes at those meddlesome nanny-staters who are wasting their time looking for me. After all, I didn't call 'em.

To reinforce my belief in my inherent right to do whatever I want, I can ignore the cellphone calls from my sleepless wife and parents who are looking for me.

Deceive your family and friends! Waste tax $! Strike a blow for freedom!

[krispos42]

184. It sounds like the police and family had reasonable cause to fear her drowning

And to start search-and-rescue efforts immediately. Especially when she didn't take any luggage, didn't tell anybody but her male friend, and the car is found empty with the keys in it, as if she was going to be right back.

They made an emminently reasonable and very likely deduction and followed that deduction with immediate action.

This was the odd case that was wrong. The authorities should just chalk it up to an S&R exercise and be happy nobody had to tell a family their daughter was dead.

[LisaL]

186. Why exactly can't the authorities be left to figure out if there

is anything they could charged the runway wife with?

[krispos42]

189. Well, they can

I imagine that if they looked hard enough, they could find something to go to trial with, because even if the county attorney loses in court the accused are still punished. They are harassed for months or years on end with this hanging over their heads and have to pay out big bucks in legal fees.

The question is "should they?"

I don't think they should. I think that if they did, it would smack of "well, I have enough evidence to make a case, so I'm going to do it even though the case I'm going to make is not a true representation of the facts."

If they did, would justice be served?

[lonestarnot]

195. American Taliban.

[JanMichael]

196. a family concerned over a missing person in weird circumstances

and a search and rescue mission is your idea of what the Taliban is like?

[lonestarnot]

198. Sounds more like a search and destroy mission!

[LisaL]

199. WTF are you talking about?

There were divers, helicopters, canine units searching for that woman. The police and her family were worried that she either drowned, or was kidnapped.
Unbelievable.

[lonestarnot]

202. She wanted to leave, so fucking what, and now you expect her to pay for a search?

[JanMichael]

207. do you think....just maybe....she could have left without faking

a crime or accident? Just maybe? Do you think maybe the rescue workers could have been pissed off that they dove in a cold river searching for someone that just decided to "leave?" So what? So what about them? What about public resources used? So what?

[JanMichael]

200. can you copy and paste whatever part of the article you read as

"destroy her?" I didn't see that at all.

What's really funny is if the family did nothing, and she did drown, fall, or was a victim of a crime, DUers would be crying over how sad it is that we are so disconnected in this society---

Honest to God, people on this forum can make mountains out of molehills.

[LanternWaste]

210. Like calling it a...

"Honest to God, people on this forum can make mountains out of molehills."

Like calling it a Search & Destroy mission...? (But I'm sure that in your case, the king sized molehill was justified...)

[JanMichael]

230. what?

dude, your reply makes no sense to me at all.

This thread was weird to start with, then devolved into truly bizarre.

Look, the woman faked a crime/accident scene; I don't know what if anything she will be charged with. But, I do think it's a shame that she pulled this utterly stupid stunt, and I don't know where DUers came up with "abusive marriage," or any of the other weird junk on this thread. She and her family all said the marriage was NOT abusive--and that she just wanted out. Those are the facts from the news reports which are all we are ever going to get.

[dysfunctional press]

203. She Called A Friend To Say That She Was Being FOLLLOWED...she didn't just "leave".

AND- they determined thru cell phone records that when she made the call to say that she was being followed in northwest suburban chicago, she was already in western illinois.

and btw- this is a local story, and when i heard the reports on the very first day, as soon as they said the part about her calling a friend to say she was being followed, i told my wife that she took off to be with another guy....after all- if she was being followed, why go to a secluded area in a forest preserve, when it would be better to go to the police station?

[gollygee]

235. If you figured it out so easily

the question is why the police dept. spent $250,000 before investigating that scenario.

[AZ Criminal JD]

236. Any police - rescue situation looks at all sorts of leads

and scenarios as they try and figure out what has happened. This all cost money. This is being looked at 20/20 after we know all the facts. I guess if you were there you would have known exactly what happened and what to do.

[blondeatlast]

204. My educated guess? An arranged marriage. THIS IS ENTIRELY SPECULATION, I will grant

--but there's an air of familiarity to this story that might be completely lost on those of you who've never known people in an arranged marriage.

I'm married to an Indian who all throughout our courtship was offered pictures and bios of women from his parents and relatives. He was not interested at all in an arranged marriage, but if you think it doesn't happen in the US you are sadly mistaken; it's quite common (actually, most are quite happy, we know two couples who are quite happy in their arranged marriages).

I'm betting there is a LOT we don't know about this relationship--it easily could be abusive; that too, is quite common and we know of couples where that's been the case--and in fact we have intervened.

In most arranged marriages, the bride rarely if ever sees her family again (ever seen Monsoon Wedding? It's pretty accurate, even for traditionalists here in the US).

She may have had nowhere to go and was scared of the vengeance of the husband's family, which has been known to be quite severe. Her husband may very well be a traditionalist and she not so much, but may have desperately wanted out to come to the US.

[NorthernSpy]

218. I'm thinking along those lines, too...

I don't think that she did this for attention-seeking motives, like that "Runaway Bride" woman.

Clearly, Solanki wanted everyone involved to write her off as dead. That's different, and it suggests that she believed that making a complete break with her former life was her only option.

[baldguy]

209. Don't we pay taxes to fund police & emergency services SO THEY CAN DO JUST THIS SORT OF THING?

[valerief]

211. Apparently that concept is so retro, like the constitutional right to an attorney.

Get with the times, man! It's a dictatorship!!!!:)

[baldguy]

212. Being forced to pay for services you don't want, didn't ask for & don't need.

My god! Its the CABLE COMPANY!

[valerief]

213. Yeah. And it's like the War Industry, too!

[AZ Criminal JD]

232. No we don't

We fund police and emergency services to take care of REAL problems -- not ones which were made up by the "victim."