Hillary? Obama? Nillary? Nobama? Either? Neither? Read this post!

[hisownpetard]

The Death of "If"

It wasn't that long ago that candidates for high political office listed the miraculous feats
they would try to accomplish, if they were elected to the office they were seeking.

"If" was a good word back then.

Somewhere along the line, some PR guy or powerful pollster must have come out with the theory that "if"
is too tentative, not persuasive enough. The voters must not be given the option of thinking that the candidate's
NOT being elected is even a possibility. And that's when the word "if" was deleted from the Candidates' Thesaurus and
replaced with the more forceful and forward-thinking "when."

So we are given the spectacle of 7 or 8 intelligent adults standing on a platform, each grasping the sides of their podium
with white knuckles and speaking into the microphone in as confident a voice as they can muster, saying "WHEN I am inaugurated in January 2008."
and "WHEN I am President of the United States," and "When my administration is in power..."

Is there a reality-deficit going on? Surely they must realize, as they all insist on "when" instead of "if,' that it will not be possible for all of them
to actually be elected President of the United States. I mean, it only makes sense, right? Which means that, as they stand there in their nicely pressed
clothes and hair-sprayed do's, all but one of them is lying, right to our face. LYING, because not ALL of them will be inaugurated.

I submit that candidates should look back to the time when being elected to public office was considered an honor invested by the people
in the candidate. It was something they sought to achieve, through our good graces. And, only IF they earned our respect and trust and
our vote would they then have the right to say, "When I am the next President of the United States..."

If only that kind of humility still existed, perhaps the public servants would actually try to serve the public once in a while. I will keep this
thought in mind when I cast my vote, if next November comes.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

1. I like this a LOT better than that other The Death of "If" thread I read this morning.

I dunno...it has a certain je ne sais quoi, an ephemeral, taunting quality too fleeting to be fully captured in the cold lines of type on the Internets, and yet...what's the word I'm looking for here...it's got an assertive, confident tone that I haven't encountered since reading the works of Hemingway, Tolstoy and Fitzgerald.

Yeah...that just about sums it up.

I give it an "8" out of "10" because even though it had a really good beat, I just couldn't dance to it. And I TRIED...oh YES, I TRIED.

[hisownpetard]

2. Couldn't dance to it? COULDN'T DANCE TO IT?

Hey, if I can dance to your spaghetti sauce bubbling on the stove, then YOU
can sure as hell dance to my pitiful little essay-lite.

(She draws the pearl-handled gun from her holster, shoots twice
right into the floor).

Ok - DANCE!!!!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

5. OK, but none of that "Achy Breaky Heart" line-dancing crap. I MEAN IT!

[hisownpetard]

7. OK, tough guy. (And thanks for the dancing bananas. Cuter than the Rockettes any day!)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

8. Cute? CUTE? Those bananas are tough as nails! Go on...TRY and mess with 'em!

[hisownpetard]

10. Where did you get that chubby little laughing smiley? I WANT IT.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

13. Oh, NOW you're back to being SWEET, now that you WANT something from me, eh?

[hisownpetard]

15. Isn't that the way it's done??

}(

[Amerigo Vespucci]

16. Yep, it most certainly is.

The easiest way to do it is to right-click on it, copy the URL you'll see in "location," and paste it into notepad. Then save it and whenever you want to use it on DU or elsewhere just copy and past the URL again.

[hisownpetard]

17. Hey, it worked!! Smoochy, smoochy, smooch - how about a new car?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

18. Sure. Here you go:

[hisownpetard]

21. You're too good to me. I don't deserve it (she said, humbly).

[CorpGovActivist]

22. ROFL

You two should do Vaudeville.

- Dave

[hisownpetard]

23. I'm just the straight man. Err, woman. He's hilarious, though. Been laughing since I "met" him.

:toast: :bounce: :toast:

[CorpGovActivist]

24. Oh, I Don't Know about That...

... anyone who chooses http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=oh+rupert+hoisted+by+my+own+petard+stewie">such a clever nickname can't be all dull.

; )

- Dave

[hisownpetard]

25. Aww...

:blush: :hi:

[CorpGovActivist]

27. Such Modesty!

Why, I do declare, I didn't mean to give you the vapuhs!

*batted eyelashes*

- Dave

[Perry Logan]

3. I was instructed to read this post. I've read it. I want my money back.

[hisownpetard]

4. Why, that's...that's... I mean, that's just downright cruel.

Give me your credit card # and I'll send you a refund.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

6. Hmmm...(writing on notepad)..."Inability to graciously accept sincere, honest criticism..."

CHECK.

NOW it's starting to come together. Yes, the pieces of the puzzle are starting to reveal a MOST interesting picture.

[CorpGovActivist]

26. How "pedantic"

"The pedant is he who finds it impossible to read criticism of himself, without immediately reaching for his pen and replying to the effect that the accusation is a gross insult to his person. He is, in effect, a man unable to laugh at himself." - Sigmund Freud, The Ego and the Id.

"I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic." - Peter Griffin, Family Guy

; )

- Dave

[MilesColtrane]

9. I don't see any particular arrogance or disingenuousness in using when instead of if.

Candidates do that in order to be seen as optimists.

[hisownpetard]

12. But it's such an obvious ploy, it just rankles. In one recent debate, that phrase

"when I'm elected President" or something similar was used ad nauseum, by all the candidates.
I mean, we KNOW why they're up there. That's why we're watching the debates in the first place.
So why don't they extend the courtesy of acknowledging as much.

No?

[MilesColtrane]

19. err....no

But, different peeves for different folks.

I personally hate it when someone prefaces a statement with "Listen".

[hisownpetard]

20. And how about, "Look...". That always sounds so bossy to me.

[scarletwoman]

11. Very good! Well-said! I especially like the phrase, "through our good graces."

Voted to recommend, of course.

I did not see the other post Amerigo, above, is referring to, but I am glad that I happened to see this one.

:thumbsup:

sw
:hi:

[hisownpetard]

14. It's the same post, with a different title - bec. no one even read it, and it was suggested that

maybe it wasn't controversial enough. Hence, the Hillary/Obama tease.

Thanks for reading the damn thing!!
:bounce: :bounce: