Scrawling the Concession Speech: Or, Dodging Mark Penn 'Til Thursday Night

[CorpGovActivist]

Right about now, a potentially career-crippling game of hide-and-go-seek is playing out at Clinton Campaign Headquarters: steering wide clear of Mark Penn, top campaign writers are huddled in a closet, engaged in a serious game of rock, paper, scissors.

Who gets to scrawl the "just in case" Iowa concession speech, and present it to the candidate for her approval?



Caption: "Where are the writers?!? For Hillary's sake, Mark needs the writers!"

- Dave

[desi]

1. Senator Clinton is no doubt well equipped to write her own speech.

Be it a concession speech or thanking the good people of Iowa for trusting her with their votes.



Caption: Excuse me Mr. Penn, there's some pissed-on wingnut on the line claiming that you egged his car and TP'd his house.

[CorpGovActivist]

2. Is She Capable of Giving Straightforward Answers...

... on the most vital domestic and foreign policy issues?

If triangulation is good enough for her, why shouldn't triangulating the truth be good enough for those evaluating her answers?

"Excuse me, Mr. Penn. Dominoes says you're their Man of the Year, and want to know if you'll do ads for them once you flame out here and turn your full attention back to your position at Burson-Marsteller."

- Dave

[desi]

3. They could be straightforward..

or assbackwards and they still would not meet with her detractors/foes expectations/"evaluations." No doubt she's fretting about wingnut triangulating the "truth."

[CorpGovActivist]

4. I Was a Hillary Rodham Clinton Supporter...

... and extremely receptive to her answers, and gave her a very careful listening to, especially on issues near and dear to me. Her answers were dodgy and overly stage-managed, in my opinion.

- Dave

[Rex]

5. Hmm...okay here goes...

"Dear people of Iowa, I hate you all and hope no one comes to visit this Godforsaken state!" "Die, die, die, die." "Please step on a crack and break you mothers back!" "Thank you and goodnight."

Oh yeah, and God bless Americana!

[CorpGovActivist]

6. The Writers Really Do Pen Spoofy, Goofy Speeches...

... you know.

I daresay at least one has been red-faced, after leaving one out - and the candidate saw.

- Dave

[Rex]

7. Like the yellow cake/state of the union speech.

Ooops, my bad, just thought it sounded good, no damage done, mission accomplished.

[CorpGovActivist]

8. Too Much!

:rofl:

- Dave

[CorpGovActivist]

9. "Mr. Penn Needs the Latest Invisible Poll Data - STAT!" n/t

[CorpGovActivist]

10. Who Lost the Rock, Paper, Scissors Contest? n/t