God Introduces New Bird

[FlyingSquirrel]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_introduces_new_bird">God Introduces New Bird

THE HEAVENS—In what is being described by advance marketing materials as "the first divine creation in more than 6,000 years," God Almighty, Our Lord Most High, introduced a brand-new species of bird into existence Monday.

...

"This new bird has it all: slicker wings, a more streamlined beak, better-than-ever capacity for beautiful song. Plus, all of the grace and majesty you've come to expect from the Eternal Creator of Life Itself."

"The bird is back," God continued, His booming voice parting the very heavens. "And baby, it's never looked better."

...

Available in two colors-—male and female—the bird reportedly combines everything God has learned from His previous works into one "new twist on an old favorite."

In keeping with tradition, the bird has not been given a name by God, who has left it to mankind to name all the animals.

[BuyingThyme]

1. That's a fake story.

[Zynx]

3. I do assume the author knows that. They're just having a good time.

[BuyingThyme]

4. I don't think it's appropriate to makes jokes about God.

[Birthmark]

5. Then he shouldn't have written the Bible.

[anigbrowl]

6. +1 internet

[demwing]

20. He didn't, he had a holy ghost writer

ok, that was a horrible pun, but I couldn't resist.

[FlyingSquirrel]

22. hee hee hee

That was very good. I might have to give you a pseudo-DUzy for it ;-)

[Chulanowa]

8. God loves a good joke!

I mean have you taken a good look at creation lately? The dude's a comic genius!

And what's he gonna do, take his dolls and go home in a pout?

[csziggy]

9. Come, on - he let Randall and Og and their friends do most of the work

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiV_Bkbsj0M

Randall: We made trees and shrubs. We helped make all this.
Kevin: Whew! That's not bad.
Randall: Yeah. But did we get a thimble full of credit for it? No! All we got was the sack. Just for creating the Pink Bunkadoo.
Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful trees that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

[Zoeisright]

10. You don't think he can take it?

LOL.

[Tesha]

11. Presumably, your omnipotent god could do something about this if he wanted to.

Or maybe you actually *ARE* God's weapon against humor-about-God?

Tesha

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

14. It's ALWAYS appropriate to make jokes about god.

Anyhow, if he/she/it is real, he/she/it can take it. If not, what's the problem?

[PCIntern]

16. As we used to say:

God played a big joke on us when he made the Playground right next to the waste disposal units.

[JTFrog]

19. Don't believe everything you think. n/t

[Codeine]

23. If God has a problem with it,

he knows where to find me. :evilgrin:

[anigbrowl]

7. Amazing - what would we do without your deductive powers

[saltpoint]

12. ONION stories are satire. It's for fun.

Over at the ONION they seem to enjoy poking fun at reality, and just about all topics are fair game.

[47of74]

2. Always love The Onion

[LeftHander]

13. I have collected a specimen .... Leftanthium Handicus

I just shot one of God's new birds, eviscerated it and stuffed cotton into its empty body cavity.

[demwing]

21. Now you're a man

a man, man, man...
Now you're a man,
a man man!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. It's about damn time.

There hasn't been a new bird in eons. We need a few to make up for the ones we've killed off, like the moa and the passenger pigeon. If you ask me, god has been slacking. We could use a few more interesting lizards, too.

[Barack_America]

17. I hope it doesn't look like a warbler.

We've got enough species of those and I can never tell them apart.

We need more blue birds, imo.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

18. Warblers, meh. Too many little yellowish birds that hop around and squeak.

What we need is bright blue raptors. I want a big blue eagle.

Get busy, God.