By Request: A Report From The "Front Lines" (My Teaching Experience And Bullying/Autistic Students,

[Dinger]

annabanana requested this, so I'll do it. In reference to this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8074311

I Am A Third Grade Teacher (A 3-4 Split Actually). Here Are My Thoughts And Examples (Long)

First, I am so sorry that your daughter was victimized at school. She sounds like a very bright and sweet young lady. I am sorry that you were victimized too. I know that it hurts, I know all too well. I was bullied in elementary school, and my son was also bullied. He is not autistic, he has ADD. Most of his teachers were very good, but he did have some assholes in middle and high school who bullied him as well, culminating in his senior year with the principal telling us that he wouldn't get his diploma unless he came and got his wood shop project immediately, and pay up the bill for the material (which we were not contacted about (for approval). Sort of like extending credit to minors, which I think is illegal. The bill was over $900. We went and got the project, and paid the bill. We saw many. many other projects still there, and we were never contacted prior to the call about getting it either. Let's just say, I took care of that situation.

I have had students with Asperger's Syndrome before. I have had three boys and currently have a girl who have Asperger's Syndrome. One thing that ties them all together is their superior intelligence. Not sure if this is a coincidence or not, probably. Two of the boys maxed out on their standardized tests, which are given in the fall. Totally maxed out, they couldn't get any higher. One of the boys was a brilliant writer, absolutely brilliant. I worked with his mom and got him involved in programs and associations for gifted and talented writers. He won a state award and is continuing his writing career. I am positive you will all know him as a successful author some day soon. When I have had students like this, I work with them and their families to concentrate on their strengths and make sure the child's peers know of their success too (while also acknowledging successes of other students). Each of these students has a particular strength and skill. The boy I just mentioned had an almost unbelievable skill in writing. Oh yeah, I mentioned that. That's because I am still amazed by an student having an ability like that. He is a very special talent. One of the other boys had very high math and musical skills, and a special skill with technology. He recently graduated, and had a small computer business going by the age of 16. The third boy was also a very talented writer and artist. Truly, truly amazing. I have a little girl right now who spells better than I do. A third grade spelling list would be a waste of time for her, so I have designed a unique spelling program that fits her learning needs and style. It takes a bit more work, but it's going very well, so I don't mind, a bit. She's an amazing little girl. Besides the intelligence of all of these students, another thing they had. have in common is behavior that is a little quirky. These are just some examples that I am sharing from personal experience.

We use an anti-bullying program that works well. Here is a link: http://www.clemson.edu/olweus /
However, like any program, you need to be consistent and maintain the program. Don't just start it at the beginning of the year, and then forget about it. In our school these are ways we implement and maintain the program:


1. We have an all-school assembly, which focuses on the anti-bullying program we use. We do some role-plays (by teachers, administrators, support staff, parents, and students), and we have a speaker.

2. Next, we have the kids sign an anti-bullying pledge, and display these in our classrooms year around. When parents come in for school events,
they see this too.

3. We have "Family Nights," where there is a light supper provided before a special program/assembly follows. I have a great one planned for
this month. As a result of an award I received, the school gets a grant, and I asked my superintendent if I could use it to bring in a retired
NFL player to talk to the kids about overcoming obstacles, having a positive attitude, showing positive behavior, and an anti-bullying message.
This person experience that in his life. Here is a link on his story if you're interested. http://www3.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=91261
*Addition from previous post: It sounds like this event will be covered by a major newspaper. I'll give an update when I get it.

4. We have "bully-buster" slips that are given to students. One a week, names are picked out of a bucket, and the kids get nice prizes.
The kids like this, and they know not to bully, and they know that being a bystander and doing nothing is also bullying. This, along with
Family Nights are one way we maintain the program all year.

5. Anti-bullying lessons and activities are also incorporated into our guidance classes.



Each teacher has other things they do to help. And I can tell you honestly, that there have been a few instances where I suspected bullying by
teachers and/or other staff. It has rarely happened, but I immediately went to my principal (who is great!) and the teachers were disciplined. Yes, I'm a tattle tale. I can also say honestly that I observed those specific teachers' classrooms being observed more often by administration after my intervention. I also give parents my cell phone and en courage them to call me if they ever have a question or concern. I have never had a problem with that, so I continue to do it. I can also check my school e-mail at home. We have one open house at the start of the year, and two formal parent-teacher conferences, so I tell that parents that while we have few formal meetings during the year, I will meet with them any time, as long as it works with our schedules. I also make my room available during my lunch break for kids to catch up on work, don't feel well, or just need some quiet time by themselves. That doesn't happen often, but I want the kids to know I am available to them when they need me. I also tell the kids that if there is a problem, and they tell an adult, and nothing happens, to keep telling someone until something is done. Sometimes that means they come to me, but they KNOW I will do something. It hasn't happened much (not once this year, so far), but again, I want the kids to know they have choices, and that their voice matters, they matter.



Robyn, you sound like a wonderful parent. I have/had wonderful parents too. I hope that Mr. Dinger and I have been good parents too. All we can do is our very best. Sometimes that's enough, sometimes it isn't, but one has to keep on trying and never give up.

My best to you and your child.


*Please pardon errors here. I'm sure there are a few.

[keroro gunsou]

1. oye...

where was all this anti-bullying stuff when i was in school?

[Dinger]

2. I Have The Same Question (nt)

[NotThisTime]

10. Where is this stuff where my kids are still in school? What has been described is wonderful

except at the 2 public schools we have tried it has fallen by the wayside, I know this because our child was bullied and in fact earlier this year seriously so, he transfered out mid year and things are now going great.... if what was described here could be implemented for all kids I'd be all for it....

I should say that the reason we found out about the severity was due to a teacher who stepped forward and spoke up. She spoke up when he had a breakdown in front of her... this is a 15 year old who never cries... but this teacher along with his guidance counselor stepped in and stepped up and helped us get into a situation at a different school that was much better in the long run.... The administration on the other hand did not follow the law regarding bullying and refused to do anything about the situation.... I saw all too close where the problems lie during this entire timeframe....

[truedelphi]

3. Thank you for posting this.

For those of us who watched so much bullying go on in our younger years, when Jeez Louise, it was often standard operating procedure for the some of the older nuns who taught us to be bullies, and then we watched bullying occur in the schools where our our own children were enrolled, your pointing to links to help is a Goddess send.

My son was thrown off his bike by kids from his HS in a car, while he was biking home from classes. The HS wanted nothing to do about any of this - if I wanted to make a stink, I could take the matter to the police. Then the teenagers who'd done this would start out their young lives with an arrest on their resumes!!

Needless to say, I could not bring myself to do this.

It took over half a dozen calls in order for the Administrators at the HS to realize THEY WOULD be subjects of a lawsuit if nothing was done. (Circa 1992.) The meeting was held.

Among other things I discovered: one parent had found out that her teenager was involved, and had felt so very bad but since I had an unlisted number, she had no way to call to apologize. (I had decided that all these kids came from homes where the parents didn't care.)

Also I found out - The kids themselves had not meant to knock G. into the street. Instead they just meant to shove him a bit, as they thought he was snotty. When he fell, they pulled their car around the corner and went into collective shock.

In the end, every parent punished their child. None of the punishments were harsh, but all acknowledged you don't knock anyone off a bike on a busy main corridor without doing "time."

But I never quite figured out which was the worst thing about this - my son being knocked off his bike, or the HS not caring. In my day, if anyone had done anything like this to some other kid on the way home from school, they knew they were facing immediate expulsion. And we didn't shout, swear, or even talk loudly when we passed by my old grammar school after hours. That is how much authority that school had.

And public schools in that era were somewhat the same.

[annabanana]

4. Kicking and a rec. First hand accounts tell the story the way

nothing else can.

Bullying CAN be countered. It can start with one person refusing to look the other way when someone is outnumbered and being beaten down, physically or emotionally.

Programs like this CAN be successful. Kids want to be understood to be good and generous, but left entirely to their own devices, the petty oneupmanship can overwhelm the innately generous spirit.

[Lyric]

5. The problem is that so many people think that "bullying" means physical violence.

I hope their programs also focus on the kind of psychic violence that a pattern of verbal abuse and sneers can do to a child.

[proud2BlibKansan]

6. kick

[tonysam]

7. Bullying also happens in the workplace--ESPECIALLY in schools

People would be horrified to know what really goes on in the public education workplace--and it's not pretty. (Of course it happens in private and charter schools, but those don't have the unlimited taxpayer funds to fight teachers and bury them in court as regular public schools.)

National Association for the Prevention of Teacher Abuse has numerous horror stories from teachers around the country who have been victimized.

It is NOT a trivial issue, trust me on this one, having been psychologically raped by crooks who are making six figures on the taxpayer dime while having my career destroyed at 53. There is NO equivalent--NONE--in private business because of the political nature of the public school workplace.

From NAPTA:

Bullying

Many teachers are subjected to continuous bullying to the point that their souls are slaughtered and emotional survival rather than children’s needs, becomes their priority. They slide down the slippery slope of compromise as they attempt to salvage any sense of self, dodging parents’ need to know the truth, knowing it is political suicide to put a child’s needs over an administrative agenda.

Cheryl Mix is a teacher who refused to compromise her integrity. She reported the school’s noncompliance of Special Education Laws to the Office of Civil Rights and shortly thereafter, she was written up as unsatisfactory and her contract was not renewed. She protested publicly, and the district reported her to the Department of Children and Family Services for child abuse.

She no longer has a classroom. Score one for the administration; score minus one magnificent teacher for the children.

---


"One of the worst affected professions is education, which possesses peculiar pressures in addition to the usual circumstances, which stimulate bullying."

"Bullying, especially on a regular basis and for the perpetrator’s pleasure, can be regarded as a form of psychological rape because of its intrusive and violational nature. Bypassing or piercing the outer defences of assertiveness and behaviour skills, the inner-self is penetrated by a regular and unrelenting trespass of threat, intimidation,provocation and guilt."

"I was bullied severely over a period of three years and eventually dismissed on a trumped up charge. The dismissal and appeal hearing were a foregone conclusion. A year later, having been let down repeatedly by the legal system, I still feel like I’ve been accused of a crime whilst the real criminals are off gallivanting about, probably bullying someone else. My only 'crime'was to take pride in and enjoy my job."

Tim Field, Bully in Sight

NYC teacher David Pakter, who has been the target of administrators:

I have been following this discussion for some time and am
deeply touched and moved by the high degree of passion and
pain contained and expressed in the remarks.

Having taught in the NYC public schools system for over
four decades, since 1968, I can say that the entire system
is corrupt to the core. I am now involved in two lawsuits
in the Federal Courts, which contain evidentiary documents
regarding these remarks.

I was a highly decorated NYC Educator but once I became a
Whistle-blower I immediately rose to the top of the
system's "hit list" in 2003 and the NYC schools system has
been trying to bury me ever since.

There is no depth to which the NYC schools system will not
sink once it decides to destroy a Teacher's career - and
this is a nation wide situation and phenomenon.

On Sunday, March 21, the NEW YORK POST, on page 8,
published a statement about me that I had been "charged
with sexual misconduct".

This is an absolute bald faced lie and knowing
fabrication.

Where do you think the two NY POST reporters got the idea
and this libelous false information to include in their
March 21 story ? If your IQ is above 10 you likely
guessed correctly.

Obviously the NY POST will pay dearly for this Libel.

The point is, for those poor babes in the woods, still wet
behind the ears, you have as much chance fighting the
egregiously corrupt public school systems in America as my
Grandmother's sister's family had hiding in the woods in
Russia as the Nazi killing squads came barreling through
the countryside, raping and murdering during the
Holocaust. She, like most, did not survive.

For those who believe the analogy is overly dramatic, wait
until your number comes up and it is decided it is time
for you to go. Wait till the system causes you to lose
everything, your career, your house, the ability to feed
your family, your health insurance, your economic security
in old age- literally everything that one needs and
requires to sustain a normal life and remain a viable
human being.

I salute those and praise the courage of all those
Teachers in NYC and nationwide who have refused to go down
without a fight. But all such fighters for their simple
human dignity and employment rights should know that the
deck and all the odds are stacked against you.

You are battling forces that violate the Laws of the land
everywhere and all the time and usually succeed in getting
away with doing so.

Will they succeed in my case/s ? I have spent a fortune
and will continue to do so to make burying me and my
career as costly for them as possible.

I could have retired long ago at a Pension far larger than
my current contractual salary, after 42 years as a NYC
Teacher. (The contractual salary the system has been
illegally refusing to pay me since October of 2009.)

But I refuse to retire until my State Education Law 3020-a
Teacher trial concludes and the Hearing Officer, a highly
respected State Arbitrator and Attorney, who is
unswervingly honest, has rendered his Decision in this
trial that includes the charge that I "brought a plant to
the school without Official permission". Believe it or
not!!

Again, to all those Teachers who have refused to go
meekly, like lambs to the slaughter, I salute your courage
and your passion to defend your simple human dignity and
your careers.

My Grandmother's family did not survive their battle
against unspeakeable odds. But that is no reason for
American Teachers or for any human beings on this Earth to
capitulate to evil just because the odds are against them.

In the end that is what differentiates one human being
from the next. The individual who goes along to get
along, and the individual who has the courage of his/her
convictions who cannot be bought at any price.

Indeed, in the end, if one's only goal is to just to
survive at any cost, then what is the point. Sometimes
sheer survival can come at such a cost to one's dignity as
a human being, it is not worth the price.

With the movement towards school privatization, targeting and abusing teachers is getting much worse.

While politicians talk about bullying of students, what about the bullying of TEACHERS?

Chairman Quall and members of the House Education Committee, Do you know what Prolonged Duress Stress Disorder (PDSD) is? It is a psychological condition that is a near-cousin to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is an issue for our soldiers; PDSD is an issue for the victims (and relatives of victims) of bullying. Just as a backfiring engine can trigger a PTSD episode for a soldier, so a perceived “return to the battlefield” can induce a PDSD episode. That is precisely what happened at the close of the Education Committee hearing Friday morning. Being “lost in the paperwork”, being dismissed and ignored, triggered a flashback to the “dark days” of being bullied at my former school. Another word for “flashback” is “revivication”, reliving the event. As I rose to object to being ignored, I was reliving the bullying that I experienced at MMS, my former school. You saw a clear example of the lasting effects of bullying on the victim. That is precisely my point. It doesn’t matter whether the victim is a child or an adult; bullying causes long-term psychological, physiological and behavioral damage. Period. The Legislature has the power to begin to stop all bullying in the schoolhouse. What are you going to DO about it?

I am sorry if I disturbed the decorum of the hearing, but you may understand our (victims) position on adult bullying after you read further. This is, necessarily, a long letter. I apologize, but if you are to have an informed discussion and make an informed decision, you need to know what life is like for the victim. Please be assured that I am only giving you the highlights; there is much more detail to this story. Of the many bullying weapons used against us by the principal and his mob at MMS, one of the most widespread was ignoring us and our input with a frequent dismissive, “that’s just your perspective,” with a sneer in the voice. The quality curriculum that we senior staffers presented to students was marginalized and limited (my wife and I routinely mentored students to placements at the Washington State National History Day exhibit-we had one student take first place in her category and qualify to go to nationals in Washington, D.C. in 2005); less rigorous curriculum presented by younger staff was highly praised. Then there was the “silent treatment” where the office manager would not speak to us (preferring a facial sneer that said, “you are less that trash”) or provide professional services until we started the conversation and responded with as few words as she could, which were delivered as if we were the scum of the earth (or she would sneer at us that she was busy and she’d put it in our mail box later, as if we had interrupted her important work with our totally unimportant work). We were not called on during faculty meetings unless it couldn’t be helped otherwise. When we were allowed to speak, all of our suggestions and input were met with derision. In light of this treatment, perhaps you can see how not being allowed to speak to the Committee after driving all the way from Richland would be upsetting and trigger a flashback.

The basis of bullying is an imbalance of power. Whether children or adults, the more “powerful” may try to dominate, even humiliate, the weaker. Teachers in a bullying situation take a lot of garbage. Here are a few more examples, none of which happened to me but rather to others in my building. The run-on sentence structure is used in a deliberate attempt to evoke anxiety in the reader, just as the bullying does. You are assigned 39 students for your Japanese language (talk about rigorous curriculum!) elective (you are about to become a KCTS9 Golden Apple winner), but you only have 32 chairs and 33 books and have mentioned this in passing to another teacher and the next day you received word of your award and the principal pulls you into his office and you think that he will praise you for your accomplishment but he and the counselor yell at you for complaining in public about not having enough books. Or: you notice that three days after the resignation of another senior staffer (in early October!), the principal begins to behave oddly toward you and within a week is openly committing bullying acts toward you (serial bullies do that-get rid of one target then focus on the next one on the list). Or: the principal decides that your years-long successful for-high-school-credit (the only one in the district) biology class has to have 27 students in it even though you only chose 19 through your selective process which assures that all students will be able to keep up with the advanced work load (you are a KCTS9 Golden Apple nominee and winner of a Toyota grant that allows your honors students to hook up to a NASA data stream), so he assigns 8 students that you have previously turned down and 7 of them fail your class even though you gave up your lunch period for two trimesters to tutor them AND THEN the principal blames YOU for their failure and calls you a bad teacher in front of your peers. Or: the principal warns you, as a senior staff member, that you need to be in your room in the morning to monitor the students and help them with their work (but don’t forget to read and respond to all of your e-mails!) while the junior staff members sit in the faculty room drinking coffee and eating donuts. Or: you go to the principal with a clarifying question about implementation of the new online grade book and he goes ballistic, yelling at you, pointing his finger at you, telling you, “I don’t like your attitude!” and when you try to withdraw from the situation, he yells, “No, we’re going to take care of this right now!”, threatening you with the reminder “Don’t forget that I’m your evaluator” AND he yells and threatens you in the same way one month later in the presence of the vice principal who seems appalled and you invoke your Weingarten rights to have a union rep present and the principal refuses and continues to yell at you until you insist on representation at which point he finally disengages. Or: five behavior disordered students (all boys) are assigned to your last period class when both you and they are at low energy points and you have a daily struggle with discipline and the rest of the class is not learning because you are spending most of your time disciplining these five students and halfway through the year you find out that the counselor had left specific instructions the previous summer that these five boys should NEVER be assigned to a class with any other of the five and the ONLY other person with scheduling authority is the principal. There is more; so much more. Why do teachers put up with this? Because the principal has all the power and they have none. We were told by an upper level administrator that the principal can talk to you anytime, anywhere, and in any manner that they see fit and there’s nothing you can do about it. It is a well known axiom in the teaching profession that the principal is God and that running afoul of him/her can mean being subjected to bullying. It is education’s dirty little secret.

How can this be corrected? Where is the power to stop this? Only in the Legislature. I ask again, “What are YOU going to DO?”

link

Until the targeting and bullying of teachers stops, don't expect any improvement over the treatment of students.

[riderinthestorm]

8. Waiting for the DU anti-teachers brigade to try to slam your magnificent OP.

You are exactly the type of teacher my children and I have ever encountered - dedicated public school professionals who really do try to do the right thing.

Okay so there may be bad teachers, but most are just like you Dinger, ready 24/7 to assist their students in achieving their goals. I have an Aspie nephew (CA), and an Aspie niece (IL) who have also met incredible teachers in two extremely divergent school systems plus the rest of my extended and very large family who have only met success in the public school system.

I am distressed at the level of teacher bashing on DU and elsewhere.

You are one of many, many who are making the difference in millions of lives. I salute and honor you and the rest of the teachers who are being unfairly singled out by this Admin (and those on DU) for union busting of the worst sort via defamation. It's crazy and I hate it for you all.

Peace.

[Dinger]

9. Thank You

Thank you everyone. I am humbled. I love what I do, can't help it.:blush:

[NotThisTime]

11. It shows by what you have written, I wish all teachers could think and act as you do.

[Lugnut]

12. K&R n/t

[riderinthestorm]

13. Morning kick! nt

[LWolf]

14. k&r, Dinger.

I've loved all of my aspies, although they haven't all been bright beyond the norm. I have one now who struggles mightily with social skills. He's having a harder time this year than last; not because of bullies, but because student turnover in his class has created a socially tense, dysfunctional climate. There are just too many students who have social issues of one kind or another all together in one room. He's needing a lot of support to keep him from "blowing out" each day.

Our school counselor does weekly sessions on positive social skills in every class, and intervenes with whole-class and small group sessions whenever a situation flares up. In addition, he manages a leadership group at the middle school level focused on positive role modeling and mentoring anyone who needs it, and has set up "girls' group" and "boys' group" weekly social skills training sessions for those nominated by teachers.

This year, we've been addressing off-campus bullying; a "myspace" situation happening from home, that had one boy threatening suicide. Our students brought it to our attention. That tells me we're doing something right; they trusted us to step in and do something, even though it wasn't happening at school. And we did.