My sister's boyfriend is a teabagger - and he's taking her with him.

[tmyers09]

My sister lives in Arizona (of all places right now lol) and her boyfriend is a teabagger. I figured it out when both of them came to Michigan to visit back in October. Specifically, when we went into the Salvation Army store to see what kind of records/videos they had. We pass one of the bookshelves and a Rush Limbaugh book is displayed prominently. I quip, "Hey, I bet that would make some good kindling!" He kinda looked at me funny and said, "He makes some good points.(referring to Rush)" That planted the seed in my mind, and it only grew in the months following. Not a day later, while talking to my dad, he says something about all the Mexicans that commit crimes where they live or something to that effect. (No doubt he's a fan of this bullcrap new law)

I figure whatever, he can think what he wants.

Then after the health care bill passed, I get this comment from my sister on my Facebook page.

"Please explain to me why you think it is a good thing that the government now runs our country's health care? They now run the banks,health care and auto industry ......what can you call that other than socialism?"

After looking at the screen incredulously, I typed out a long, drawn-out response and all I get back is "Let's just agree to disagree".

At first I figure it's the boyfriend on her account fucking with me, but then I get this message later.


Her: oh you have so much to learn. America voted for Hitler as president
Me: ...lol? Is that a quote from the video, or just a typo on your part? You meant 20th century Germany.
Her: hitler aka obama
Me: If you are trying to raise my ire it is working. I know you are smarter than this.

Her boyfriend once referred to the President in a status update as "Barack Osama bin Hitler".

On Facebook, she herself is a fan of "REPEAL THE BILL" and "Campaign For Liberty".

She is a smart, strong, independent woman. How could this have happened? Is her boyfriend feeding her straight-up lies? Is Fox News on at the house 24/7? A combination of both?

And because of the distance between us, and the limited interaction, I can do little about it. Of all my siblings, me and her seemed to have the best bond, and were always on the same wavelength. It's killing me to see this.

[Juche]

1. People can lose themselves in relationships

Maybe that is what is happening to her.

[tmyers09]

5. Very possible.

Before meeting this guy, she never was political one iota. She very much was just a live-and-let-live person, accepting, loving. I believe she still is all those things. My 18+ years knowing her will never let that go. It is right now hidden under a veil of straight-up misinformation.

[KonaKane]

2. Sex does weird things to people.

Give it a little time. She'll figure out at some point that her boyfriend is full of shit, especially if she finds her eyes wandering to the ceiling and wondering what color to paint it, during "the heat of passion".

[ZeitgeistObserver]

3. When she changes the boyfriend

the views will change too.

[Cali_Democrat]

4. I'm assuming she's young?

Get her to watch John Stewart

[tmyers09]

7. She turns 26 in July.

And she's coming up to visit us in June when my dad is getting bariatric surgery. I don't think he's coming with her.

[Beaverhausen]

6. are you sure it's her and not the boyfriend you are corresponding with?

Do you think your sister is trying to be the person her boyfriend wants her to be just to be with him? Sadly, many women will do that.

[ZeitgeistObserver]

8. They used to be taught to do that.

Laugh at all his jokes, take up all his hobbies, agree with him on everything. It was a woman's job to do be an echo.

[tmyers09]

9. I first suspected that it was him on her account, fucking with me.

Then I called her the next day and she told me it was indeed her.

It is very possible. Back in 2004 she up and moved there, we have no family connections there, she was on her own. She has been through a bad relationship before. I do worry about the type of crowd she hangs around. I was certain before that she had good friends, but who knows now.

[WeekendWarrior]

10. My sister was a liberal until

she married a Republican. The change was so abrupt I had to wonder about her. Still do.

[tmyers09]

12. Hopefully that doesn't happen.

Not sure how long they've been together. Maybe in the 9-10 month range.

My younger brother (17) thinks he's a dick too, albeit for other reasons. He kinda overly picked on him to the point where it was awkward. Maybe he was trying to fit in by playfully joking, but it was overdone.

Me, her, and my brother are all still able to joke about John McCain's jowls (even though she voted for him).

[krabigirl]

11. They are fans of the Campaign for Liberty and listen to Rush? ironic

[tmyers09]

13. Not sure if either of them listen to Rush.

The boyfriend just said that he made good points, so either he listens to him occasionally or knows what he's all about and agrees with it. (Both of which throw up major red flags)

[FarLeftFist]

14. Delete her from your friends list. j/k

Just agree to disagree, it's only politics.

[jillan]

15. Hitler's regime went around asking people to show their papers.

Hmmm - that doesn't sound like Obama, but sounds like someone else that's been in the news lately.

[tmyers09]

17. LOL!

I'm pretty sure the boyfriend saying something about how "Obama is against this law because HE doesn't have papers" (BIRTHER DOUBLE COMBO)

[pinboy3niner]

16. It has to be painful to have politics affect your relationship

It may be tempting to try to deprogram her, but the more you push, the more she'll resist, and your relationship may deteriorate further.

Among all the nonsense, she made sense about one thing--agreeing to disagree. The best course, for now, may be to agree to avoid politics and concentrate on the things you enjoy together. It's not worth it to risk ruining your relationship with your sister over this.

[tmyers09]

18. May be the best course of action.

I won't go into full-on political discussions with her, but if something comes up randomly, I might just say like, "that's not true - ..."

[Roon]

19. My parents and my step-parents are all right wingers

I know how it is. I have a gift of starting debate without looking like i am picking a fight. I make my points and sometimes they have no choice but to agree with me.

[pinboy3niner]

21. My situation is closer to yours than the OP

I have one brother who is to the right of me, but still definitely a Lefty. My other brother is a Republican who works in a conservative environment--he's a civilian employee of a service branch under DOD. Recently, I sent him a political cartoon about GOP leaders failing to disavow the violent rhetoric from the right. My e-mail to him didn't capture the cartoon the first time I sent it (it was blank), so I re-sent it. My brother's response was that he preferred the first (blank) one.

For his birthday, I sent my brother a card that appeared to be from President Obama, with the President's photo on the front, and I wrote that it would look good in his office. He responded that it would look good on his office dartboard--but he said he would do the same if I'd sent him a card with a photo of Sarah Palin. He may be a conservative, but he's not a wingnut, and we can enjoy discussing politics, and even appreciate each other's jokes about our respective pols.

So, I count my blessings--especially when I hear the horror stories of DUers who have to contend with absolute wingnuts in their families. The problem is that things are so polarized now, the rhetoric so hypercharged, that familial relationships are being harmed. It reminds me of the Vietnam era, when the war divided families. "All in the Family" resonated because it was based in reality.

It sounds like you have a good approach to dealing with political differences in your family--and more power to you. For some, however, having a civil political discussion is impossible. In those cases, it's better to forget politics and put the value of those relationships first.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

20. my 3 siblings oppose health care reform and they know I don't have health coverage

They are right wing on everything, thats 3 of them vs me.

They watch Fox news!

Imagine if all of your siblings were that way.

I can't understand how they can be that way.

Also, I said nothing to them for 8 years of Bush, but
2 of them are quite rude about President Obama.

You'd think they are tea-baggers but they all have advanced degress
while I only have a 4 yr degree.

I have to love them in spite of their politics.

[pinboy3niner]

22. You may have to love them, but you don't have to take abuse

Tolerance is a two-way street. It's not too late for you to set some boundaries with your sibs. The rude shots are disrespectful and insulting to you, and should stop. It's up to you to confront them, and draw the line. Good luck . . .

[tmyers09]

23. The rest of my immediate family is mostly right-wing too.

My dad, I'm pretty sure is an old school Republican. He's clearly right wing, but he's reasonable (unless he just pretends to be so as to not argue with me). He says that Obama is more of a centrist than he thought he'd be, he said letting people buy into Medicare was a good idea, he agreed that the Supreme Court ruling on corporate political contributions is wrong. He actually voted for Jimmy Carter in 1976, because of Ford and Watergate, as well as the Warren Commission. (He think there was a JFK cover-up, but I'll leave my thoughts on that topic for another thread at another time.)

My older brother is an enigma of sorts, hard to figure out. He voted for Kerry in 2004, and we spent 2004 Election Night watching the coverage in his room together. In 2008, he voted for McCain. He doesn't really make his individual issue opinions known, so he's hard to gauge.

My younger brother doesn't really get into that stuff yet.

Me and my sister are/were kinda the "free spirits" so to speak, which is why this is so shocking.

[zbdent]

24. just wait ... when she keeps "falling down stairs" and "running into doors",

she'll still be defending the jerk ...

[NNN0LHI]

25. Reading my mind

[no_hypocrisy]

26. She may just be "the messenger" for her boyfriend.

I've already seen two instances where my girlfriends who have been Apolitical, now spout teabagger rhetoric which is too sophisticated (if that's possible) for them. E.g., I'm sure they have no idea who Nancy Pelosi is or could pick her out of a photo. Yet they demonize her. And now my girlfriends send me e-mail that routinely compares Obama to Hitler, the HCR will kill us all, etc. They're just forwarding e-mail sent to them without reading it, thinking it must be intelligent stuff.

I just delete. I wish they wouldn't send it. I don't know whether to take solace that they don't understand the contents.

[ejpoeta]

27. i personally think some have been listening to rush limbaugh too long.

and others may be afraid.... afraid of being the minority in this country. my aunt's husband hijacked a post i put on facebook about my 6 month old taking up the bed and i couldn't sleep. he said something about asking obama for help. you voted for him didn't you? he and his daughter post all kinds of things so much so that i hid his daughter. i responded with what does obama have to do with my daughter taking up the bed? and one of my aunts was kind enough to reply that that was uncalled for for him to say that. i thought about responding about fear and such about a black president or of old white men liking the good old days..... or even mentioning medicare. but i do not want to upset my aunt whom i love. henry is old. so i try to take what he says with a grain of salt and realize that he is probably afraid. there are those who will not respond to logic. they will not respond to facts. they'd rather listen to a man who makes MILLIONS of dollars and climbs on their backs to get every penny.

[RadiationTherapy]

28. She is not an independent woman when it comes to politics, then.

If she is with a conservative tea bagger, then she is 'subservient' to him. You can see her changing and it isn't because she researched and decided to be conservative.

[mwb970]

29. You say your sister is smart and independent.

But she falls for easily disproven lying crap and allows her boyfriend and Rush to do her thinking for her.

Smart? Independent? Methinks you don't know your sister as well as you think you do.

[Darth_Kitten]

30. I'd have to agree with this.......

A smart and independent woman doesn't fall for bull some loser is feeding her.

[Javaman]

31. Smart and Independant...

and easily swayed are not mutually exclusive.

[surrealAmerican]

32. I'm guessing it's not just the boyfriend's influence ...

... but likely the whole community in which she lives. Don't let her go unchallenged when she says things like, "the government now runs our country's banks, health care and auto industry". Those aren't opinions, and they certainly aren't facts.

[ellie]

33. This woman was a friend

of my husband's. She used to only date Mideastern men, they were her type. She was very, very liberal. She came into some money, ended up inexplicably marrying some redneck, now she is a crazy racist and is impossible to talk to. She hates all brown-skinned people. I know my husband is sad he has lost his friend.

[mitchum]

34. Sorry, but she is neither smart nor independent...

if she believes that nonsense.
One of the many reasons that Mom likes you best.

[havocmom]

35. It really hurts when you know a sibling is smarter and was raised better

I have come to the conclusion it is about feeling accepted and some will go to any lengths to get it, even selling out their native values for the perception of going along with what they think is the majority.

My older brother, once my hero, is same way. And I know he suffers from feeling like he never fit in as a kid. It is a characteristic I have noticed in many winger tag-along types. My sister is a hateful, completely self-centered racist. My brother goes along to get along. Sadly, he can't grasp why the rest of us just can't deal with her/him around her.

[AnArmyVeteran]

36. I like to rearrange right wing books on shelves...

Yeah, I know it's childish, but I like to cover up all those Hannity, Palin, etc books with other ones. It only takes a few moments and it feels good to cover up those ugly right wing faces.

[southernyankeebelle]

37. I surely relate to you. I have a sister that is a doctor and against healthcare reform. She isn't

a teabagger that I know of but we DO NOT talk politics. That is what I would recommend to you to do. There is nothing that you can do to change her mind. Let her think what she wants. The only thing you can do is say to her before you get together no politics or there will be no visiting. If she loves you, she will respect that. If they start bring up politics stop it in the bud right then and there but if they continue excuse yourself after a few minutes then leave because believe me it will be fire works.