Best Jon Stewart Quotes of All Time

[politicalhumor]

Best Jon Stewart Quotes of All Time

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." --Jon Stewart

"Legend has it that every time you say, 'Happy Holidays,' an angel gets AIDS." --Jon Stewart on the War on Christmas

"The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems and illuminate problems heretofore unseen, or it can use its magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous-flaming-ant epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing." --Jon Stewart, in his closing remarks at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

More here:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jon-stewart-quotes.htm

[MissMarple]

1. The Daily Show writers are so good. Thanks guys!

:hi:

[no limit]

2. K&R. Jon Stewart has more credability than anyone else in our media

and as much hate as he gets around here lately I appreciate seeing some threads that praise him.

[DainBramaged]

3. Yup all other news is fake

[okieinpain]

8. who's that white dude talking to stewart. n/t.

[Ian David]

4. Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the Promised Land-- it's just New Jersey.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

5. BAHA

''Even if the bomb works, there's going to be 72 very disappointed virgins.'' —Jon Stewart on the Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up a Detroit-bound plane

[SalmonChantedEvening]

9. One more.

'Either he's getting ready to play an Indian in a 1950s Western, or John Boehner is not human, but actually made entirely of cured meats.' —Jon Stewart, on the orangish hue of House Minority Leader John Boehner.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[blondeatlast]

6. My sig line. nt

[Initech]

7. Plenty of good ones here:

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0115147/quotes

One of my favorites:

Zell Miller: Isn't it strange that a government requires a no-smoking sign around gas pumps to remind us of that danger, but then thinks we don't need to be reminded of the danger of living a sinful life?
Jon Stewart: You know I...
(shakes head)
Jon Stewart: I gotta say, I think it's the way it should be. No-smoking signs by gas stations, no religion in the public square. The government should keep us from being engulfed in flames on earth and that's pretty much it.

[politicalhumor]

10. Happy Birthday, Jon Stewart!

Just saw that Jon Stewart celebrated his 48th birthday yesterday. That makes this quote collection a timely and fitting tribute.