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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 08:33 AM
Original message
Simple advice for sexual harassment
Edited on Sat Nov-12-11 08:37 AM by malaise

Threaten to talk about their inadequacies

delete sentence

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rfranklin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:10 AM
Response to Original message
1. This is humor, right?
Otherwise, not good advice.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. No - I have been harassed by more than a few men
and when I threatened to tell others including their wives and let everyone know about their inadequacies most backed off and never approached me again. Let me add that I often use humor in uncomfortable situations.

Most men will have a rethink when you ask them if they could handle the entire institution knowing about their inadequacies. Always threaten to talk -it is their worst fear.
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boston bean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
2. WTF Malaise?
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
3. I threatened to call his wife.
When he continued I did.

He didn't even make eye contact after that. And No he did not fire me.

But it was a crap job anyway and I moved on soon after.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. 100% correct
:fistbump:
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ehrnst Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
4. As if they actually made it with you? (nt)
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. And that's the point
They back off because they now fear that you will talk-bold clear self-confident responses often put the scumbag 'on the defensive'.
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boston bean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:26 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. that is ridiculous.
#1. If it got so bad you had to make a complaint, you would have no credibility.
#2. Doing something like that can cost you your job. Making you the harasser.

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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:39 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. Your culture is way more uptight than mine
I never said a word about complaint -I said I used to threaten to tell everyone. I once worked with a dirty old professor who grabbed my arm one day. I told him to move his damned hand. He responded that I wouldn't tell my boyfriend that. I told him to take a good look at him and then have a look at himself. I then told him that I'd tell the entire campus about him. He never approached me again.

I was always capable of defending myself. No scumbag could get me fired.

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boston bean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:46 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. My culture, wtf does that mean? How do you even know my culture.
I'm glad you can always defend yourself and would never ever have to bring a sexual harassment suit, or complain to the HR department.

You and your culture must be so god damned perfect.

And what do you mean exactly by this... "Threaten to talk about their inadequacies"


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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. FFS chill
Edited on Sat Nov-12-11 10:02 AM by malaise
What is viewed as sexual harassment in the US is not the same in many parts of the world.

Example - I am walking on a street and not one utility worker says something complimentary, I'd check my mirror. It would only be harassment if he said something sexually explicit.

I could have reported the dirty professor, but I was quite capable of defending myself and yes that was sexual harassment

I lived in the US and most of my siblings and their families live there
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procon Donating Member (45 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:26 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. Missing the bigger problem here
While you may view yourself as "quite capable" of fending off physical and verbal harassment, other women may not be up to the challenge... nor should that be a job prerequisite. You may walk away proud of your assertiveness, if you do not report the incident, will the next victim fair as well... or the next one?

Additionally, most work places have policies that require any such incidents to be reported. Again, you leave yourself open to disciplinary action by allowing the abuser to continue and you put both your fellow workers as well as your employer at risk by failing to follow through.
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boston bean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:31 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. stop using yourself as a barometer of what is and what isn't a proper
reaction to these types of situation. You look ignorant and it proves you don't have a full grasp of the environment that can be created by those types of actions.

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glowing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
9. Now that so many of us have smart phones, tape the bastards.
The first time something happens or you get the sense the dude is a pervy shitwad, you might not have your device.. but after that be sure to carry it in your back pocket or in your jacket... This way, there is evidence of their shit.... The problem with harassment and sexual harassment is always the he said, she said issue. And then its treated like rape in our courts.. What was she wearing, what was she doing, she wanted it bs that pervades the narrative. Catch a few of these ass monkeys on tape, and it will stop happening as much.

And it doesn't surprise me at all that Herm Cain sexually harassed women. It was pretty much the normal standard operating procedure, especially in executive suites... We all probably know of or know women who would actually engage in sleeping their way to the top as well (which sucked for those who didn't care for climbing any ladders in that manner). When Anita Hill made claims against that jack wad who sits in a robe today, it resonated with women. It especially resonated with women that the Senator men questioning her and her claims in the manner that they did, was wrong... It swept in a whole lot of women into congress and political offices. Sexual harassment was finally addressed and laws were put in place to protect women on the job. It doesn't surprise me that Cain was one of the dips shit executives that engaged in the same sort of normalized treatment of women, after all, he is a wealthy, republican.. they seem to only speak about values.. they certainly don't walk the talk.
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procon Donating Member (45 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:08 AM
Response to Original message
13. Ridiculous
No woman would be something that stupid. If you "talk about their inadequacies", in the eyes of your coworkers you become the disgruntled office slut, another gold digging enabler who tried to use sex for gain and then started a smear campaign to retaliate. You'd be the one who got fired, and with good reason.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:16 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. Pay attention -you stop the scumbag when he starts harassing you
by threatening to tell everyone including his wife and exposing his inadequacies. The threat alone usually takes you off his list.
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boston bean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #14
17. define inadequacies, please?
The way your post read was to expose sexual inadequacies.

And if you think sexual harassment is just an inadequacy, you got a lot more to learn.
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procon Donating Member (45 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. Yes, he might leave you alone
What about his next victim? If you fail to report the incident you're allowing him to continue and that makes you his enabler.
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