Thanksgiving dinner + wingnut relatives = a horrible day

[Cyrano]

I have two wingnut in-laws who will be at Thanksgiving dinner and they always want to talk politics.

There's just no way I can avoid it. I've considered faking a heart attack or stroke to escape this ordeal, but I doubt if I'd get away with it.

These are people who think Ronald Reagan is God and that Newt Gingrich is a genius. They are against everything that most sane people believe in. They are intolerable dittoheads and Fox "News" addicts. And they are people I really don't want to be on the same planet with.

If I ever spoke up, I know I'd blow up. It really could become physical.

So I'm stuck with a day that I used to love that has become a horror. I can usually avoid them most of the year, but this is one day I'm stuck with. Maybe I'll get lucky and choke to death on some cranberry sauce.

I've often asked myself why I put up with it. There's no arguing a different point of view with them, but I'd really like to tell them to shut their stupid fucking mouths. However, that would cause irreparable damage within my family with which I'm very close.

I'm sure that some of you have the same problem and you have my sympathy.

Nonetheless, Happy Thanksgiving to all here. I hope it's a good one.

[bigwillq]

1. Folks probably should avoid talking about politics

on holidays. Not much good comes of it.

[bulloney]

90. You know who brings it up in our holiday events? The RW nutjob relatives.

They must feel so insecure about their position that they have to assert themselves at family gatherings and refuse to listen to any counter-points to their pre-conceived notions of how the world runs.

[freshwest]

97. Yep, won't let go. If you don't agree vehemently, their faux reality explodes. They're zombies.

No longer living in the here and now, their world exists in the mental landscape created by corporate propaganda. Whenever I get stuck with them, it's like being surrounded by mannikins. More than a little bit scarey, makes me question everything.

[bigwillq]

99. I've had relatives of both parties

bring it up in the past.

No need for it. Plenty of other topics to chat about.

[FarLeftFist]

2. What a great time to be a Democrat, they can't talk much shit with their current crop of bat-shit

INSANE candidates. You get the last laugh.

[darth marth]

107. exactly- now is the time to call them on their bullshit- expose their 'philosophy' for what it is

expose the heartless bastards.

Show them this picture and ask them where they stand.




The fascists need to be exposed and held accountable.



For a long time now, we have been told not to talk about politics or religion in polite company....well look what the hell happened!

These fake religious people took over our government.

We NEED to talk about politics to keep those bastards in line,

and we need to talk about religion and morality, because these people they so vehemently defend have NO religion or morality and they need to be called on the bullshit.


When they complain about you standing up for the poor and weak among us....ask them if Jesus would stay silent when the 1% are harming, KILLING really millions of people with their lies about wars and theft of our nation's treasury, not to mention speculating on our necessities driving the cost of food so high that people are literally starving.

[darth marth]

108. not to get all religious on anyone but...

Doing the right thing, speaking up for what is right, fighting for the future of this nation.... is more important that 'keeping the peace'

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

and another hero of mine...



“Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

‘I have come to set a man against his father,

a daughter against her mother,

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

Your enemies will be right in your own household!’

J.C.

[spooked911]

121. Yeah I agree. The person in the OP shouldn't back -- someone need to stand up for the right thing

even if it hurts some feelings.

[Juneboarder]

3. Ha! I told my dad...

if politics come up, I'm going upstairs and he can do the turkey himself dammit! No politics, no religion when there is a family gathering in my house.

[Mimosa]

13. Not discussing politics, religion at purely social events is sensible.

We all know nobody's going to change their mind by arguing politics at social gatherings.

[inademv]

4. Get an ipod/phone

and just listen to some podcasts the whole day. Ignore their political assertions because it obviously isn't a fight that can be won. If they're picking a fight with you about that stuff then there is already nothing you can say that will change their minds and it isn't worth your effort to even listen to them about it.

[tosh]

8. I highly recommend this strategy!

It has worked for me many times.B-)

[darth marth]

116. Ignore their political assertions because it obviously isn't a fight that can be won

but it is so easy to win....


Here are their arguments....The economy is all Obama's fault...well you can't just let them get away with that! Look at all the wasteful spending Bush did with the trumped up wars(you have now been proven right about the lies in the lead up to that war)...the economy was tanking, Bush did the bailouts and the big picture reveals it is actually the free trade agreements that caused the whole job loss situation which can be blamed on George H W and Clinton....


They blame spending on welfare, medicare and SS...you can't let them go on saying that when the vast majority of spending is on the military on wars that were proven to be based on lies, not to mention highly illegal and immoral resulting in the deaths of millions of innocent people.(very Christian!)

bring a chart, then carefully...slowly... explain FICA taxes and how they separately fund SS and medicare and ALL of the politicians have been stealing from that trust fund to pay for wars and tax cuts and now they don't want to pay it back.

THAT is why they and the corporate media are pretending 'oh social security cost so much money' it is so stupid I don't think we should allow them to continue to screw over the least of us just to enable these morons in their stupidity.


And when they bring up 'too much government' ask them who created the brand new HUGE GOVERNMENT department of Homeland Security? And the TSA?

And when they whine about paying taxes, ask them who is supposed to pay for all their big government, wars, oil subsidies, gravy train war contracting and double dipping hypocrites at the pentagon??

Rush Limbaugh thinks that no one should pay tax for a year, and 'see what happens' to fix the deficit.

If no one pays taxes who is going to pay for all this crap? How would the deficit get better? Could you ask them for me, I really would like to know how people explain that one. I just don't get these people!!

[Politicalboi]

120. Good idea

bring a chart, then carefully...slowly... explain FICA taxes and how they separately fund SS and medicare and ALL of the politicians have been stealing from that trust fund to pay for wars and tax cuts and now they don't want to pay it back.

But that chart might not get seen. Make personalized napkins with the chart on them. And if they are retired, ask them to sacrifice their SS and Medicare.

[inademv]

122. Not what I meant

Yes it's easy to prove them wrong but facts don't matter to that sort of person.

[hamsterjill]

5. Please don't choke on your cranberry sauce.

They aren't worth it.

Many times, the best way to win an argument is not to have one. With whatever they say, when you can, simply comment "I don't agree, but I'm not here to talk politics today. Now, can someone please pass the potatoes (yams, dressing/stuffing/turkey, etc.)?" This will frustrate the hell outta them because they are, obviously, looking for an argument.

Try not to let them get to you.

[renate]

32. perfect

:thumbsup:

[MedicalAdmin]

66. Excellent strategy.

And if they continue to try to bait you into an argument just "play the broken record" on them. Just keep repeating over and over again that you "are not here to talk politics today" and then change the subject again.

Even the densest dunces eventually get the point.






I that doesn't work, download a copy of the study (ies) that show that Fox viewers are less informed than a bag of rocks, toss it on the table and ask them to comment.

[TheCowsCameHome]

6. That's awful. Too bad "To-Go" isn't an option.

That must be Hell on earth, sitting all day with those people yapping.

Tell them the turkey reminds them of the GOP candidates thus far.

Then run for the door with your take-out bag.

[MedicalAdmin]

69. +1 DUzy ....

"Tell them the turkey reminds them of the GOP candidates"

[GoneOffShore]

7. Some electric brownie's could go a long way.

Or electric popcorn - made with special butter.

Might mellow them out.

[DefenseLawyer]

9. Fortunately my republican relatives have learned to shut the fuck up

Arguing at the holidays never ends well for them. I don't mean to brag but I am way better at it than they are, so football is the topic of choice.

[MedicalAdmin]

71. I actually enjoy engaging my inlaws in person.

On facebook or in emails they follow the coward repub practice of hitting and then fleeing and not answering if they don't like what they hear back.

In person, they have nowhere to go and are armed with a rubber knife at a ninja fight ---- if they start up tomorrow I'm gonna make sushi out of any parts left over after I grind them to hamburger. Strangely enough my wife is less tolerant about that shit from her family than I am. And she is WAY smarter and faster than I am. Me - if I was a repub with a lawyer for an inlaw I wouldn't start a fight....

[darth marth]

111. yes, don't avoid- confront them with the truth where they cannot run away

WE are the 99% !!

And the last nutjob holdouts need to be exposed and shamed for supporting fascists!

[DCKit]

10. A lot of us share your pain.

I have nothing BUT wingnuts in my family, so we two will be sharing a quiet Thanksgiving at home. Alone.

[FarLeftFist]

11. Let them know that FOX news viewers are dumber and be sympathetic.

Tell them it's not their fault, they've been duped.

[Scuba]

12. Just lean back, smile and steeple your fingers. It'll drive 'em crazy. n/t

[Voice for Peace]

102. haha great suggestion

[qb]

14. I'd have dinner at a Chinese buffet.

When asked where I was, I'd reply "having dinner at the Chinese buffet. Why do you ask?"

[Sal Minella]

51. This sounds really good to me. Or, if dinner with them simply

cannot be escaped (spousal expectations or something) -- I would suggest just staring at them fixedly, silently, with a mixture of sympathy and revulsion -- the look you probably have on your face while watching a cat cast up a hairball.

They can't help it (the in-laws OR the cat), and there's nothing you can do about it except wait for it to be over, and your participation in the ritual is in no way required . . . .

[coalition_unwilling]

65. Hah! First time I've ever heard bat-shit Repukes compared to a

cat spitting up a hairball. There needs to be an award for that comparison, imho :) Wife and I are both ROTFLOAO. We have a cat who inspires exactly that look of revulsion and sympathy. We've both jettisoned the Repukes in our families long ago in galaxies far, far away.

[Sal Minella]

83. Similarities exist -- neither can be reasoned out of it

(reason does not work -- the capacity to understand is simply not there).

[geardaddy]

15. Sorry to hear it, Cyrano,

I'm lucky that both of my and my g/f's families are liberal.

Are they going to be at your house? If so, tell them they can discuss politics all they want to on the way out the door.

[Cyrano]

22. No, geardaddy, it's not at my house.

If it were, I might be able to say something about "a house rule that we don't talk politics here."

Unfortunately, it's my aunt's house and I'm in no position to lay down any "rules."

[geardaddy]

24. Yeah, that's a bummer.

Well, my good vibes go to you for that day.

[MedicalAdmin]

78. That is true, but you can decide what your participation will be.

You can always wander away from the table and turn on the TV somewhere or just take a walk...

[Voice for Peace]

103. maybe you can propose a toast to a peaceful and harmonious meal wherein you suggest everyone refrain

from talking about politics, for the sake of the greater good.

[FarLeftFist]

16. Feel their pain, they must be going through a lot lately being their candidates are BAT SHIT INSANE!

[MedicalAdmin]

79. The problem is that the true believers finally have the candidates they love. n/t

[PCIntern]

17. the following phrase always works for me in these situations...

They: Blah blah blah clinton's dick....blah blah blah Kenyan....blah blah blah libruls...

Me: (Lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng Pause).......................You know that is the most ridiculous you've said... except for everything else you have ever said. (sit back in chair and stare your fork)

[Sal Minella]

63. Yes, What fun! Long, thoughtful pause . . . then, "You know, I'm not

sure, and I'll have to think a bit about what you've just said, but that may be the MOST ridiculous thing I ever heard."

Very quiet and friendly-like. Heh.

[coalition_unwilling]

67. LMAO! - n/t

[PCIntern]

125. Late reply:

forgot the word 'thing' in the text...what a moran I am these days....

[Bunny]

18. Actually, you can avoid it. You're choosing not to.

There is no law requiring you to attend, and if it's going to cause you this much aggravation, you can always decline the invite. Of course it will create a stink among the family, but really, so what? Life is too short and if the stress outweighs the pleasure, you can make a choice.

I have a bunch of wingnuts in my family, but over time we've reached a detente of sorts and politics is pretty much ignored for the duration of the visit. Works out fine for everyone.

[Cyrano]

38. Yes, but ...

I have a very large family and this year we all decided on a family get-together in Florida. Many of them have come down from up north and from California. We have always been a very close knit family and I really want to be with them.

My aunt's house is large enough that, after dinner, I can avoid the two trolls. And out of earshot of the rest of the family, I am even in a position to tell one or both of them that they're total imbeciles. But I won't do that because I'm very close to my two cousins that the trolls are married to.

[xiamiam]

47. your post made me lol..been there ..why dont you just print out the financial flow chart

which shows where all the money is..take some print visuals..could be an opportunity

forget debate...take printed facts in your casserole dish

[CoffeeCat]

94. Or the OP could have an educational dinner theater...

Just say this:

"Ok! Everything you've said about Obama's birth certificate and his Marxist tendencies is duly noted, but
let's look at reality for a second. This turkey represents the amount of wealth that is currently held by the one
percent in this country. And the amount of wealth that the 99 have is represented by...this soggy cube of stuffing."

Then you could keep repeating and pointing at the food, "One percent...turkey...99 percent...stuffing. And again! Turkey
one percent...stuffing 99 percent..."

Maybe after an hour of those yummy visuals--they will finally get it.

You might as well have fun. :)

[Voice for Peace]

104. hahaha yeah, stay on the attack

[darth marth]

109. yes

+1000

These idiots have been empowered to speak out by the 'facts' they get from Glenn Beck and Limbaugh.

Wake them up with some real facts on paper, and make sure someone else is in the room so they can see their reaction and not just start yelling or going into denial.

[Bunny]

57. Well, thankfully the house is big enough that you're not trapped by them.

I hope you have an agreeable visit with the rest of your kinfolk.

[FarLeftFist]

19. They are VICTIMS! Preyed upon by FOX news. Be compassionate, they are fragile.

[RagAss]

20. You really need to reconsider faking the heart attack....or risk getting a real one !

[SemperEadem]

54. actually, they need to consider living more authentically

and quit being a victim of boorish family members.

answering anything by saying "yes, but..." means that they are intent upon choosing to put themselves through the misery...

learn to live with what you refuse to rise above.

[grasswire]

21. can't you appeal to someone in the family to institute "No Politics"?

How about asking to bring a guest -- an ally? You could spend all the time in deep conversation with the guest.

[yardwork]

23. It sounds like a terrible ordeal. Do you really have to go?

I had to get divorced to get away from my wingnut in-laws. Now Thanksgivings for me are all peaceful. Granted, this was an extreme solution.

[coalition_unwilling]

70. ROTFLMAO - Awesome! - n/t

[roody]

25. My dad likes to start by criticizing Dems.

I counter with, "I know, I can't believe the money they vote to waste on immoral wars." He does not want to get into that.

[rocktivity]

26. I got this e-mail from MoveOn about what to say to your conservative relatives, LOL

http://front.moveon.org/top-5-fox-myths-to-debunk-this-thanksgiving/?id=33178-622676-ELdy31x

:headbang:
rocktivity

[OutNow]

27. Yup, Been There - An Idea

Getting into a lengthy argument with your relatives would ruin your enjoyment of the meal, but you don't have to just sit there and take it. My suggestion - think of the most controversial thing you might say to them and then create a small sign with it on a piece of paper. When your asshat relative begins to rant take the paper out of your pocket and pin it to your shirt in front. Then point to it. Each time they say something absurd, point to it again. No words are needed.

Eg. - your political idea is bat-shit crazy - Tax the Rich, Feed the Poor - We're coming to take your guns after Obama is reelected - I am the 99% - etc.

[Mikeystyle]

28. don't hold back!

I held back for years as a right-wing relative shot his mouth off about politics. He's not just a right-wing nutjob, he's arrogant as hell and as ignorant as possible. He's the type of guy who brings up an issue, then if anyone disagrees it's THIER fault---he goes ballistic and plays the victim. It used to be amusing, but even his own kids admit he's gotten worse (even as they make excuses for him).

A few years ago, I got tired of it. It wasn't planned, I just disagreed with him and he exploded---screaming at the top of his lungs. My cousin had to intervene to put a stop to the screaming, then Mr. Rightwing stormed off to the kitchen to play the vicitm (with more screaming).

I made it clear to those on his side of the family that if he was going to state his opinion, then I had the right to state mine and I would do so without reservation from now on.

Here's why this is a good thing---I've barely seen him since! We've had to say hi to each other at a few gatherings but that's it, just a formal hello and we stay as far from each other as possible. Even that only happens only once a year at most.

Moveon sent an email out this morning on rebuttals to Fox's talking points, titled "your conservative uncle." You can probably find it on their website. Don't try start a fight, but then again you shouldn't take crap from anyone.

[brooklynite]

29. "These are people who think Ronald Reagan is God"...there's your opening...

Steer the conversation to the real Reagan record and the conflicts between that the the current crop of wingnuts (Limbaugh included).

"Don't you think we could bring back the properity of the 80's and pay down the national debt with Reagan's 50% tax rate for millionaires?"

"Reagan was able to bring down the "Evil Empire" by meeting with Gorbachev; don't you think we could do the same with Castro/Chavez/evil leftist of your choice?"

"Wasn't Reagan smart to pull our occupying troops out of Lebanon after the Beirut bombing?"

"Wouldn't an Immigration Reform program like Reagan's give us the labor force to get the economy going again?"

[tsuki]

30. I have stopped some of the BS by claiming that politics is all drama queen shit.

I tell them if they really want to know what is going on, they need to be on the economists' blog. Then I use a couple of terms that they don't know and they shut up. Happy Turkey Day.

[sibelian]

31. Don't go.

Do what you want to do instead.

[DainBramaged]

33. Invite my wrinkled old ass over I'll tell them what for and take the pressure off

:evilgrin:

[RevStPatrick]

34. I am thankful that...

...we have absolutely no wingnuts in my family!
And we do talk about politics.
A lot.
A few years ago, my teenage niece said that political discussions in our family are boring, because we all agree with each other!

Try to have a good time, and no choking please!

[n2doc]

35. I would consider using Reagan against them

Some quotes:


I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
Ronald Reagan

If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen.
Ronald Reagan

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
Ronald Reagan

Protecting the rights of even the least individual among us is basically the only excuse the government has for even existing.
Ronald Reagan

And of course:
“Would you rather reduce deficits and interest rates by raising revenue from those who are not now paying their fair share, or would you rather accept larger budget deficits, higher interest rates, and higher unemployment? And I think I know your answer.”
You know Who

One could also find some juicy Newt quotes to use, starting with his support for caps on CO2 to stop global warming.

[MADem]

39. You could always say "Did you hear about Ronald Reagan and Piper Laurie?"

If they say no, tell them to Google it when they get home.

:rofl:

[Cyrano]

45. Just googled it. lol

[Nye Bevan]

36. I find people like that to be much more tolerable when I drink a lot of beer.

Not a good idea when driving, though.

[MADem]

37. Oh, don't be a sourpuss--just ruin their fun with a smile!

No person on this earth can make you feel bad without your permission. Don't give 'em permission. You don't have to fight with them, just use pleasant coping strategies that will noodge them.

"I don't want to talk politics." Repeat, with a smile and even a laugh, if they persist. If they keep trying to bust your chops, that's when you double over with laughter--and bet them a token amount, say, a dollar, that they can't go the day without mentioning a political figure or a political argument. If they're at all competitive, they'll bust a gut to prove you wrong. Be sure to pay up cheerfully if they keep their word.

"My priest/rabbi/minister has told me to avoid speaking about politics on this day of thanks." Religion works brilliantly to shove in the face of a rightwinger.

"I'm so happy that you're pleased with your political views. I want to watch football now."

"I don't know anything about that." If pressed, "I don't know anything about that--and no offense, I'm really not interested. How about those Patriots?"

It's like training a dog. You don't lose your temper, and you often have to "lather, rinse, repeat." Keep at it. You CAN have your way, with a smile, too.

Once they realize that you're no damn fun, they'll leave you be. They bug you for one main reason--because you REACT. Take away the reward, and that's that!

[Turbineguy]

40. If you have a horrible day, they win.

But is that a prize worth winning for them?

[Rambis]

41. Wear your freedom isn't free pay your taxes t-shirt

:patriot:

[Taverner]

42. Can you distract them with sports talk?

[SheilaT]

43. The root of the problem is that too many

people think they really must attend family gatherings where relatives like this will show up. Don't. Go serve at a homeless shelter instead. And make sure everyone of the right-wing-nuts know what you're doing. Those people think that private charity should step in and do such things, but they themselves never seem to do things like feed the homeless.

And you'll be amazed at how good you'll feel, how appreciative those people are. I help out at a local Presbyterian Church of which I am not a member -- don't belong to any church -- but I have friends who attend. We call those we serve our guests, and treat them that way. I love cooking for them. I have a chile chicken rice casserole that they devour. It is so gratifying and reminds me that I have so very much compared to someone who is on the street.

And I bet if you make a couple of phone calls, you'll find that the homeless shelter still needs volunteers for tomorrow.

[IDemo]

44. I'll be completely outnumbered

Mom loves Glen Beck, sis thinks Reagan was our greatest president, and I've no doubt there will be eye-rolling and laughter around the table about the pathetic OWS hippies. And then there's the evangelical thing..

[xiamiam]

52. good luck

i stayed with my republican aunt when my mom died..she helped guide me thru the ordeal..she had photo christmas cards from katherine harris and george bush on her piano...i just looked at her and told her i loved her anyway..she has rush limbaugh on the radio and fox on all day..we dont talk much now as i think other than blood, we have absolutely nothing in common..i love her but i dont really like her anymore...it hurts but its true

[Mikeystyle]

87. my suggestion

Ask them "why do you want to ruin this day by talking about poltics?"

If that doesn't work, there's always "I don't f...ing want to talk about politics!" Blunt, but it gets the point across.

[LaydeeBug]

46. When they do, say this, "People claiming the moral high ground should not be standing in quicksand"

and leave it at that.

[Earth_First]

48. Last weekend I had dinner with my parents, it culminated in calling him a "fucking asshole"

I got up and left.

Haven't spoken since.

It was the result of my father rolling in laughter over the plight of the homeless population in our city and their exploitation of Occupy as a means for 'another free handout'

My father is one of the "churchiest of the churchy" so I fucking lost it calling him a god-damned hypocrite and a fucking asshole.

Not looking forward to dinner tomorrow.

I've contemplated not going.

I will for my mother, however...

[Cyrano]

It's because of outcomes like this that I keep my mouth shut around family trolls

The other members of my family are too important for me to lose contact with.

[BR_Parkway]

129. If I was concerned that some family was going to "lose contact" with

me because I stood up to a bullying family member, I'd really have to re-evaluate just what my relationship was with those people as well. Blood related is one thing, but true family supports you even if they think you're wrong.

[coalition_unwilling]

75. Wow. Laughing at the plight of the homeless has to be some kind

of new low even for these turds.

My sympathies and I hope you and your Mother have some nice times together.

[darth marth]

113. You could print out a copy of the sermon on the mount for him

I just don't get these republican 'christians'

They must not really believe in God at all to go around brazenly ignoring Jesus' teachings, and all the greed, lies and evil they do, they must not really expect there to be a judgement day or anything.

[JVS]

127. Just to set things straight at the beginning of the visit, you might want to say...

"You're still a hypocrite and a fucking asshole, but I'm here for mom, so let's not fight."

[Wheezy]

49. Just keep saying, "I don't understand. Can you explain?"

That could even become amusing.

[MedicalAdmin]

92. That is another good tactic.

I use that one on my talking points addicted BIL. After about the 3rd question he just sputters incoherently and then I close in for the kill with "if you can't explain it, then how can you support it?"

[SemperEadem]

50. why do you *have* to deal with them. You don't.

People only do what they're allowed to get away with doing.

[quinnox]

53. Tell them they are wrong, and you don't want to debate them about it

We liberals often seem to sit there meekly and take this garbage from the right wingers, lets stop doing that. But if you don't want to make a scene, just tell them you think they are wrong, but you find the whole topic of politics uncomfortable and you don't want to discuss it.

That should shut them up if they have any social skills at all.

[Wait Wut]

55. Ah...just screw with them.

"Did you hear turkeys are being blessed by Muslims!? Pass me a thigh!"

"Damn good thing those Native Americas believed in socialism or we wouldn't be having so much fun today!"

"Speaking of Native Americans, why is it they were so charitable and they weren't even Christian?"

You'll either make them vomit or ruin the day for them for eternity.

[LWolf]

56. My family would be embarrassed by anyone who wanted to

talk politics at a family gathering. We do occasionally talk politics, in smaller groups, but not for family events.

I wonder if there is a way to point out the purpose of the day, FAMILY, in a way that would shut the politics down without causing more offense.

I was raised on the rule that politics and religion were not appropriate topics for social conversation. I'd probably respond to attempts to start political conversations by pointing that out.

Good luck.

[mnhtnbb]

58. Sit at the childrens table. And if the wingnuts start talking politics before or after dinner

just get up and leave the room.

[dana_b]

100. love it!!

granted our "children's table" now has 20+ year olds at it but they are usually easier to get along with.

[cliffordu]

59. Easy fun.....

TAZER.

It's the only way to be sure.

[EFerrari]

60. I quietly stopped seeing one of my relatives

because his support for the Salvadoran military and their death squads made me ill. That was in the mid-eighties. Families make adjustments, even close ones.

[JanMichael]

61. Jesus..I remember the Thanksgivings during Watergate

holeeeee shit....I mean, wow. Thank god I was a kid.

[coalition_unwilling]

76. Having flashbacks of my own. - n/t

[coalition_unwilling]

62. Wait until they insert their feet into mouths, then accuse them of

being toadies for the 1%. Put them on the defensive and force them to defend their assertion of class privilege(s).

My sympathies, btw. Maybe now you can understand why some indigenous folks refer to this as "National Day of Mourning" Day :)

[stuntcat]

64. just count down til it'll be over. try to grin and bear it?

Since probably nothing you could say would make them stop and think.

MY family is ALL super cool, but they're all far away.

We live near my inlaws who have a huge, big-deal feast every Thanksgiving. Well one of their old friends caught me out at a store by myself once and started a fight about me not making a grandchild for them. (I would kill myself before giving MY child the rest of this century, and I mean that more than y'all would even believe.) But he's still invited to their big party every year. They probably thanked him for sticking up for them that way! It's ruined my relationship with them for as long as they live, but since he's their guest after what he did to their only daughter-in-law then I don't feel like I've lost much. I'm glad I don't have to go & pretend all day.
Also this year my husband's uncle will be coming up from Florida. He always creeped me out and that was before he got so Republican.

I'll give thanks for not having to spend the day with ANY of the people at their party! I'll blast my tunes and make a yummy spinach sandwich on homemade bread :D

[progressoid]

68. My solution...

[Bigmack]

72. They are being aggressive/abusive... and they know it...

so anything goes.

Tell them they are politically ignorant and demand that they stop talking politics.

You don't have to be abused.

If they refuse... leave.

I don't see the problem.

My health/sanity is important to me... more important than people who happen to share some family tie.

[alfredo]

73. Wing nut relatives at Thanksgivings can be fun if you do it

right. One Thanks Givings the sister of the wing nut came out. Maybe this Thanks Givings her son will come out. That would be even better than my mother in law's cranberry salad. The poor guy is so deep in the closet it will take a backhoe to dig him out. I'm sure most of the family will accept him for himself, not sure if his mother will. She's still trying to "cure" her little sister.

Those are the nuclear option, but small irritations might be just as effective. Ethnic foods spread fear and confusion. Tabouli is very tasty and fear inducing to the virulent Muslim phobic. Hummus is an easy to make appetizer. It's tasty, and should induce loud and odoriferous gas during the second half of the required football game. The garlic alone can drive the wing nut to distraction.

[jimlup]

74. I've always found carefully planned snyde comments to be helpful in such situations. /nt

[ThatsMyBarack]

77. Best of luck to you Cyrano

:hug:

[Moostache]

80. Treat them like Sonny Corelone talking to Carlo Rizzi...

"Hey! We don't talk business at the table!"



And though tempting it may be, you probably want to avoid treating them the way Sonny handles Carlo later in the film...

[leftyladyfrommo]

81. Can you just get stoned?

That would help. Everyone would just seem funny.

[ladyVet]

82. I just don't understand,

why do so many people subject themselves to this type of behavior, at what are supposed to be joyous occasions? Tell your aunt quietly that, while you would dearly love to see your family, you have made plans to be with people who can behave in a civilized manner.

I was also raised to believe that religion and politics were not suitable topics for social events.

Of course, in my family that left football. :::shudder::: Iran could drop a bomb on Israel and nobody would notice, because it is very important to out-shout each other over Cowboys vs Redskins.

That's why I have holiday dinners at home with my boys, who know how to behave. :loveya:

[Odin2005]

84. In my area talking politics at family get-togethers is a no-no.

[jbpdx]

85. A turkey leg

Across the mouth of right-wing relatives is my solution ...

[librechik]

86. Laryngitis

[MarkCharles]

88. Feeling your pain. I actually stay home alone rather than deal with those..

people in our extended family. My relative who hosts is happy to host me for a "leftovers" meal later in the weekend, where she and her hubby and I can agree on 99% of things.

I see my libertarian relatives only for an hour or two at a time any time during the year. They know why that is, I don't hide my liberalism. I think we all have lower blood pressure because I stay away from the main meal.

Of course, I don't really stay home alone, I go out to a homeless shelter and work for 4 hours, and take home whatever "leftovers" there are, (don't expect to see much "leftovers" this year, maybe a piece of pie and some veggies and/or nuts).

[Thumper79]

89. What if you agree with them

You already know the facts about Fux and dittoheads. You can't have an argument without your participation. If I couldn't tell them that politics is off the table for this special day, I would simply agree with everything they said. If you keep doing that, they will finally run out of statements to make. It may be difficult, but don't fall into their trap. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving. Might as well try it. Happy Thanksgiving. :shrug:

[Habibi]

91. I feel for you.

And I understand the "having to go"--you want to see people you love, whom you don't get to see too often. Hopefully you can concentrate on your good feelings toward/conversations with them, and to hell with the disrupters.

[mcar]

93. Bust out laughing

then say "oh, I'm sorry, you're serious aren't you?" Pitying glance, then smile and keep eating.

Bring plenty of booze and if kids are there, enjoy the day with them (without sharing the booze).

Be thankful you only have to see them once a year. Try to have a good day in spite of them. :toast:

[MedicalAdmin]

95. This thread is comedy gold. n/t

[The Genealogist]

96. I do have this RWer issue too

My stepbrothers are RWers, my uncle and his whole family are as well. Luckily my stepbrothers are less fundamentalist than my uncle's brood. I'll not be seeing my uncle's brood, but I will be seeing my stepbrothers. I can only hope to ask for a moratorium on the politics, if they happen to come up.

Is this to be at your house? I'd think you could say "this is my house, and you are not going to run Thanksgiving with your politics."

[dana_b]

98. I empathize

and I have found it's best not to respond. I just look at them while they talk and daydream of something else that I'd rather be doing. Seriously - it's the only way that we can have peace that day.

[Darth_Kitten]

101. Bring an Ipod.....

and whenever they start talking....put the earplugs in. :evilgrin:

[appleannie1]

105. We chose to stay home. Our normal kids live too far away to visit.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

106. If you have a sense of humor that leans to the dry side

you can often zing these kinds of people before they even know it. Getting into a shouting match is a lose lose.
Keep your sense of humor, remember they are ignorant (or selfish or both) and use questions as a means of talking with them.......... at least that's what I do. :bounce:

[tabbycat31]

110. I have a BIL who is a Mitt Romney staffer

Before that he worked for Bain and spent time finding ways to ship American jobs overseas. I have no way out of it other than marrying the first man who comes into sight.

[DocMac]

112. Make sure you the first one finished eating.

Then walk into the living room and put it on Current TV. HaHa

[struggle4progress]

114. Good chance to practice Socratic method: ask questions carefully and politely

with the expressed aim of "understanding" their point of view. An expert practioner can reduce almost anyone to sputtering incoherence in a few minutes

Or you can try the Rosencranz-and-Guildenstern-are-dead variant: you carry on your end of the conversation by only asking questions, but without the high-minded Socratic facade. How many times has Gingrich been married? or Do you think more sexual harassment allegations are around the corner for Cain? or Are Mormons taking over the Republican party? or What exactly does the governor of Texas do?

If you're able to ask ridiculous questions with a straight face, you might try a more brazen tactic: I was disappointed to learn Palin isn't in the race or The country just isn't ready for Ron Paul's ideas about child labor laws

[southernyankeebelle]

115. Yes last year was the first time in many years I went at my sister's house and my

nephew's house. Before we left I told my sister that under no options will we discuss religion or politics. I told her to tell every the first time I heard those 2 topics I would leave. It worked and we really enjoyed each other. Tell them the same thing and stick by your guns. You have a right to enjoy your meal in peace and your wife should support you.

[begin_within]

117. Hurt them emotionally.

The best thing would be to just not go there. But if you are forced to go there, do or say things that hurt their feelings - and deeply, unforgivably. You know them and I don't, so you know what will hurt them the most. Don't be afraid to say it in front of everyone else at the table. And don't feel any guilt for doing it. Wingnuts are out to hurt you, so you must hurt them first. Don't let it get physical, just use the right words that will make them cry. A good formula is always, "God will punish you by (insert affliction) for doing (something they did or said). It's always good to tie God to it, that makes it hurt worse. I'm serious about this, not joking. You need to inflict some major emotional damage into them while you have the chance. If you don't, they will to you. So prepare now.

[JoePhilly]

118. I have a great solution to your problem ...

Do not discuss politics with them. They will all want to attack Obama, and make you defend him. So no matter what they say or ask, skip that and ask them which GOP candidate they plan to vote for in the Primaries.

You can, without lying say that Obama has disappointed you in some ways. No one agrees with him 100%. So you do nothing to defend him. Keep Obama out of it.

Instead, ask them why they each support the GOP candidate that they support. We already know that the GOP is splintered. THAT is what YOU focus on.

Say ... "Why not Romney? Ask if his problem is the Mormon thing, or how he supported gay marriage when running against Kennedy."

Say ... "Perry was hot for a while ... what knocked him off the top? ... Was it the acceptance of illegal immigrants?"

Go to Cain ... say ... "He jumped to the front ... then those harassment claims popped up ... and he's fallen back. Do you think he should be the candidate?"

Then go to Newt ... "Newt is now at the top, do you think his adultery will hold him back? ... or his taking $1.8 million from Freddie Mack"?

Under no circumstances do you engage ANY discussion of Obama.

Tell them that there really is no reason to talk about him now ... not until the GOP picks an opponent. Obama will be President at least until Jan 2012.

My neighbor is a Tea Party nut ... he has 2 "NOBAMA" magnets on his car. He made the mistake of engaging me on politics recently (I had an Obama 2008 sign in my yard, so he already knows where I stand). He wanted to get into a debate about how awful Obama is. I kept returning to his bumper stickers. Kept asking "why don't you have a sticker for the GOP candidate that you want."

His stuttering was priceless. He knows that the GOP candidates are ridiculous, and so do your relatives.

Divide your relatives up, get them to fight about which of these nuts is the right nut. Then while they debate that, watch and enjoy, or go watch some football.

[Tennessee Gal]

137. Great idea! I plan to use that.

[Festivito]

119. It could be worse, bad food or no food or nobody.

Quit whining. Have fun. Listen. Let them talk. Plant truths like tiny little seeds; love those who hate you; be kind to those who persecute you, because the truth you plant will slowly take their attention away and tear them up.

[Marrah_G]

123. Ringing a register at min. wage while wonderful relatives are dining without me = a horrible day

For the first time my sons are heading to Thanksgiving without me.

2 part time jobs......living the American Dream.

[Raine]

124. Tell them that from now on you absolutely refuse to discuss politics

and that you will all have to agree to disagree. A family holiday get together is not the time or place to discuss politics. Refuse to discuss and stick to it!!!

[Name removed]

126. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JVS]

128. You need to find a regular date for family meals who will give them a lot of shit

[Name removed]

130. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Papagoose]

131. I have to visit my wife's relatives in Alabama

I will be biting my tongue a lot.

[SoDesuKa]

132. Monolithic Conservatism

If I couldn't avoid having dinner with right wingers I'd do some research beforehand, looking for issues of disagreement between them. I would keep steering the conversation back to these disagreeable areas until they decide to talk about sports instead.

I don't actually know conservatism well enough to make a suggestion. However, let's assume fracking is a wedge issue. When they start in on the Occupy movement, bring up fracking. Sample dialogue:

Right winger: Say! How about the way the cops busted up the protests at UC Davis? Wasn't that neat!

You reply: You bet. And how 'bout turning on your kitchet faucet and out comes gas? What a shocker!

It doesn't have to be elegant, just consistent. It's like what they say in baseball: Hit 'em where they ain't.



Fracking gives you a twofer - water and gas.

[Leftist Agitator]

133. "I've often asked myself why I put up with it."

When confronted with immoral, evil behavior and beliefs, your acquiescence and silence equals tacit consent.

"However, that would cause irreparable damage within my family with which I'm very close."

Silence is consent. Doing the right thing isn't always easy or comfortable, but for people of conscience, there is no choice in the matter; one must speak out against the intolerant, hateful invective voiced by evil people, or become a complicit party to the same.

[lunatica]

134. Take them the article on studies on how misinformed Fox vieweres are

http://www.desmogblog.com/fox-news-effect-few-references

There have been a few studies and they all show that Fox news viewers are more misinformed than people who never watch any news.

[darth marth]

139. yes perfect, bring the article, then ask them some questions to prove how uninformed they are

the reason these people are so arrogant is that no one confronts them with the truth, and they are empowered by clear channel idiots all the time.

Bring charts, bring facts, ask specific questions....Now is the time!

If not you, who?

These people are giving our country a bad name. They should at least be shamed into shutting up, instead of allowing them to bully us.

[FedUpJerseyGirl]

135. Laughing my ass off!

I'm thankful for the laughs I'm getting from reading some of the replies here. Happy Turkey Day!

[pipi_k]

136. No need to argue or choke...

Just keep changing the subject whenever they bring up politics.

Make sure you have a mental list of things you'd rather talk about, then go for it.

Every single time they bring up politics. You don't even have to be rude about it. And if anyone mentions the fact that you keep changing the subject, don't reply. Just change the subject...

:7

Hope you manage to have a pleasant day

[Ilsa]

138. Insist on ground roes of No talking politics. Keep TV off political shows. nt